The View From Mars

Linspirational Tale

2012-02-11T04:26:00.001-05:00

Yes, I too have to jump on the greatest story so far this NBA season: the amazing coming-out party for Jeremy Lin. Unrecruited after a highly-successful high school career. Undrafted by NBA teams after a very good college career. Acquired, and then released, by the Dallas Mavericks in 2010. Buried on the bench in Golden State for 2011. Released by the Warriors to make room for an offer to a restricted free agent that was subsequently matched; in other words, released for nothing. Acquired by the Houston Rockets, and then released to make room for a journeyman center whose minutes have dropped precipitously over the past month (once mid-30s, now under 20). Acquired by the New York Knicks, buried on the end of the bench, shuttled down to the D-League, brought back and pushed the brink of being put on waivers yet again...and then?

The one sports story that has supplanted a Super Bowl champion. In New York City. The media capital of the world. It's nothing short of Lincredible!

By now you've already read and/or heard plenty about Jeremy, so of course I need to cut a different angle than what's been covered (no need to beat a drum that has a thousand musicians standing in line).

First was the silly notion by Stephen A. Smith and others that the game versus the Lakers earlier tonight would prove as some sort of litmus test for Lin. Yes, we know the Lakers are a playoff team, perhaps even a title contender...but have we forgotten that this is the team that was so desperate to upgrade the point position that it was set to trade two-thirds of its front court (Odom and Gasol) to do so? I immediately (read: prior to the game) scoffed at the notion that the Lakers would provide some stiffer level of competition for Lin (and have the tweets to prove it); the ghost of Derek Fisher past and Steve Blake do not put the fear of God into opposing point guards. And, lo and behold, we saw Kobe Bryant switch onto Lin 7 minutes into the game, and everyone from the aforementioneds to Metta World Peace and Matt Barnes taking cracks at trying to slow Lin down. By my count, at least 6 or 7 Lakers took pre-conceived turns guarding Lin (i.e. not counting guys like Pau Gasol who guarded him off of pick-and-roll switches). The result? Well, unless you've been under a media blackout, you know they were none to successful in corraling Lin. As expected...by me, I mean.

I think we should wait for the Knicks to play a team with a lockdown-defender point guard (think Rajon Rondo) or great all-around team defense (think Chicago Bulls) to say that Lin is facing something in the way of stiff competition. Of course, I'm starting to hear whispers that the rumours of Minnesota Timberwolf Rick Rubio's poor defense have been exaggerated, so it's possible that Lin's first exam may come as early as tonight's game.

The other point I wanted to address is the trepidation (or in some cases, downright belief) that Lin and/or the Knick offense will suffer with the return of Amare Stoudemire and, even moreso, Carmelo Anthony. In the rush to point out that Lin's first three starts have come without two-thirds of the Knick big-3 (haven't we all gotten tired of the big-3 designation in the NBA? If we haven't yet, I use it here to speed us along to that day), some people seem to have totally forgotten that day one of the Lin experiment came in a game with a full Knick lineup. In last Saturday's contest with the Nets, Lin played a hefty 36 minutes, as did Tyson Chandler, Carmelo logged 35 minutes, and Amare saw 25. More importantly, Chandler and Amare shot well from the floor and scored 17 points apiece, and Melo, while shooting a poor percentage, managed to get up 15 shot attempts. In the midst of all that offense, Lin was still able to carve out 19 shot attempts and 25 points for himself. One game is certainly not a sample size, but if those four guys are capable of playing together offensively on command, without any preparation, surely they can do it after a few practices and games together. The biggest fear here seems to be Carmelo's ball-stopping reputation; however, he *did* play with one Chauncey Billups in Denver, and Raymond Felton in NY. It's not as if he's *never* had a traditional point guard in his life. Time for Melo (whenever he returns) to simply make better use of those 15 shots.

In any case, welcome to NY, Jeremy. Get up off your brother's couch and contact a real estate agent. It seems you've finally found a home.

What Ails The Knicks?

2012-01-27T21:07:00.001-05:00

Well, you knew this subject had to come up one of these days. It's unavoidable. I'll skip the platitudes and spiffy remarks on their play -- it's too depressing for wit -- and just jump right into it. First, the good news: The Knicks have actually improved by leaps and bounds on defense, which I suspected -- predicted, one might say -- would happen the day they signed Tyson Chandler. They are currently 8th in the league in defensive rating, up from 22nd a year ago. Problem is, they've been equally-good at keeping the ball out of the basket on their end of the court, ranking 24th in scoring.

ESPN's John Hollinger took a (stat-based, of course) crack at trying to explain their offensive woes, in the following article:
m.espn.go.com/nba/story?w=1bfg7&storyId=7508804&i=TOP&wjb=

In short, he concludes that the Knicks are actually distributing the ball well (assisting on 55.4% of the their buckets, as compared to 55.7% for the top-rated Heat offense), but that their shots are, for whatever reason, simply not falling. He quotes a set of numbers to illustrate their blind-man marksmanship, numbers that you've either seen before, or are better off not seeing anyway. To that end, he wonders (or predicts) that Baron Davis may not be the saviour many are expecting him to be.

While his analysis is interesting, it doesn't really delve far enough into the issue. Is it simply that the Knick players are poor shooters? Rarely can things be explained so simply. There are ways of looking at the issue. Specifically, what *types* of shots are the Knicks getting? What is the breakdown of the number of 2s and 3s? I've heard numerous times that the Knicks are among the league leaders in 3-pt attempts. One wonders what you'd see if you further divided the issue into the locations on the court from where those 2-point attempts are coming, whether the shots are under duress, and where in the shot clock the shots are occuring. Those issues all affect the quality of shots taken, and thus the percentage of shots made.

It would hardly surprise me if another too-high percentage of their shots are occuring from 16-22 feet, as opposed to at the rim and from 3-9 feet (three of the four 2-pt shot locations quoted by advanced statisticians). If a bulk of those shots were also coming with defenders close by and late in the shot clock, I'd be equally unshocked to hear it.

And if so, maybe, just maybe, if B-Diddy can work the pick-and-roll, and rediscover some form of youth by getting into the lane, he may be able to raise the *quality* of the shots the Knicks are getting, which should affect their shooting percentages...or earn them a seat on the bench if not.

Perhaps one day I'll be bored enough to dig thru basketballreference.com to uncover those stats...or maybe some writer out there may earn his pay by doing so.

Salient points raised by Hollinger, but the analysis could go much deeper into the numbers to uncover the source(s) of the Knicks' struggles to score the ball.

Sportswriting Moron Of The Week

2012-01-21T14:07:00.001-05:00

The pandemic of moronic writing continues. With this being such a continued, ongoing theme in this blog, it's just occured to me that I might as well start handing out a regular award for all the inaccurate columns, terrible analyses, and half-witted commentary with which we are beseiged. So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I present to you, the inaugural Sportswriting Moron Of The Week Award, which goes to: ESPN NFL Blogger Adam Schefter!!! *golf clap and cheers*

http://m.espn.go.com/nfl/story?storyId=7476168&wjb=

Of note, in the above-linked blog, which analyzes the 4 potential Super Bowl matchups, Adam, while discussing a potential Patriots/49ers game, includes this fantasic gem of historical inaccuracy:

-quote-
And once, the 49ers played the way the Patriots do today: high-flying offense, limited defense.
-/quote-

Limited defense Adam? Excuse me? Were you awake, or even alive, during the 49ers run? Mercy me. Where do I begin? Well, since we're discussing the Super Bowl, let's just start with a number from there: 17.8. That's the average number of points scored by 49er opponents in their 5 Super Bowl victories (26-21, 38-16, 20-16, 55-10, 49-26). Limited?

But naturally, it's far too simplistic to stop there. It's just one game, right? After all, the Buffalo Bills were a great team, but you'd never know it from their final three Bowl appearances. So how did the 49ers defense fare over the duration of those Super Bowl years? Well, for starters: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 6th, and 8th. Those are where their defense ranked among the league in points allowed during those runs. An average of 4th-best in the league in limiting the amount of points by the opposition. Limited? Was that perhaps a typo for limitING?

It gets worse. For four of the 5 Super Bowl runs, the 49er defense actually ranked just as high or *higher* in the league than their offense. In 1981, the defense actually carried the team more than the offense, ranking 2nd in the league in points allowed, as compared to the offense's 7th-place points-scored rank. In 1988, the defense was 8th and the offense again 7th. The 15-1 '84 team and 14-2 '89 team -- the two best of the dynasty -- had an offense-defense rating of 2-1 and 1-3 respectively. Do you really think that the 1984 team that shut down the high-flying, Dan Marino-led, record-setting Miami offense to a tune of 16 points is something to call "limited"? Nope. #1 in points allowed, the stingiest defense in the entire NFL that year. What a coincidence.

The only year you could make so much as a weak case for the offense carrying the team would be in 1994, when the offense ranked 1st and the defense 6th. However, good luck trying to convince anyone with a pulse that a defense that ranked 6th out of 30 teams is somehow "limited".

It is commom knowledge by now, among football circles, that the idea that the 49ers were all flash and no substance is ridiculous. Bill Walsh, Joe Montana and the West Coast Offense certainly made all the headlines, but anyone who truly follows football knows they had a stout defense each and every year, chock full of pro-bowlers and eventual Hall Of Famers.

Ronnie Lott. Charles Haley. Dwight Hicks. Keena Turner. Dana Stubblefied. Eric Wright. Fred Dean. Those names mean anything to you? They should. Hell, that 6th-rated 1994 defense had nearly their entire secondary (Tim McDonald, Merton Hanks, Deion Sanders) in the Pro Bowl.

Seriously, when you really take a good look at those 49er teams of yesteryear, you realize just how complete they were from top to bottom. Among the best teams the NFL has ever seen. There isn't a team among the 5 that even remotely resembles top-heavy teams like the 2011 Packers and Saints.

By the way, for the sake of comparison, this year's New England Patriots ranked 15th in the NFL in points allowed; 31st in yards allowed. (The 49er Super Bowl teams ranked 5th in the league in yards allowed on average, only once as low as 10th). Nevertheless, our dear Adam saw it fit to compare a defense that ranks 15th and 31st to one that averaged 4th and 5th. Sure, that makes sense.

Adam Schefter, hands off your keyboard, stand and take a bow; you are this week's sportswriting moron. Congratulations!

All Hail The Football High Powers

2012-01-17T13:50:00.000-05:00

Woe be unto thee that disobeyeth the football gods. After a year of historical exploits and off-the-chart statistics, high-powered NFL offenses were threatening to change the game and reduce it's foundation and core values to rubble. But just when football purists thought all hope was lost, from out of the smoke and ashes arose a familiar conquering sight: smashmouth football. Over this past weekend in the NFL divisional round, smashmouth stood up and boldly declared: I am still here, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.

The weekend began with smashmouth pounding a New Orleans Saints RB (P. Thomas) out of the game, starting a contant stream of turnovers that put the Saints behind early. And though they eventually overcame the early deficit with their high-powered GQ glamour offense, it was their defense that failed to hold onto a fourth-quarter lead given to them -- twice. Then, in the weekend's final game, button-downed glamour football tried to make one last desperate stand against smashmouth, when the Green Bay Packers cut their deficit to the New York Giants down to 2 TDs halfway thru the fourth quarter. This gave the Pack some measure of hope that their own high-caliber pretty-boy offense would ride thru on a white horse to rescue the day. But, as with the Saints, their defensive deficiencies betrayed them, as the Giants -- armed with smashmouth running -- immediately marched right back down an onside-kick-shortened field and restored an insurmountable 3-TD lead. Both Green Bay and New Orleans were held in check by stingy opponents' defenses -- as well as their own costly mistakes -- and ultimately done in by the porousness of their own defenses. In between, the New England Patriots showed that maybe, just maybe, their reorganized defense can actually perform (statistically-speaking, their defense kept the Packers' company at the very bottom of the NFL rankings), and the Baltimore Ravens just went about their ho hum workmen smashmouth day, giving up exactly zero points in the 2nd half of their game.

What's somewhat strangely ironic in all this is that the San Francisco 49ers, the one team built more on smashmouth football than any left in the playoffs, were almost betrayed by their usually-stout defense (missing tackles, making judgment errors, and giving up 2 late TD drives) and had to be rescued by glittery offensive plays. I suppose the gods were subtly whispering to us: balance, it's all about balance.

So, the result of all this is that three smashmouth teams -- and a team who performed like one -- are all that remain in this year's playoff field. Those luxurious high-powered offense-driven teams? They will be parked in the garage at home watching with the rest of us.

We've heard it innumerable times: offense wins games, defense wins championships.

Betrayeth ye not the football gods, or suffer the wrath of agonizing playoff elimination. Purists rejoice!

If It Ain't Broke, Bud Will Fix It

2012-01-17T07:45:00.000-05:00

As the ink dries on his brand new contract extension, MLB Commissioner Bud Selig is out to further cement his legacy as the guy who fixes everything except things that actually need fixing. Recall how the MLB turned a blind eye to steroid use for over a decade until the avalanche of evidence and decibel level of the whispers became impossible to ignore. Juxtapose that with the outcome of the MLB All-Star Game now being used to determine homefield advantage in the World Series, a move that was designed to increase interest in the midseason all-star contest by making it "meaningful" ("This Time It Counts!"). How did that move work out? In 2010, nearly a decade after the change, the All-Star Game had it's worst TV rating...ever. Then, in 2011...they repeated the feat by going *even lower*. Worst rating...ever. So, the game is garnering even *less* interest than prior to the change. (Channeling my inner Dr. Phil) So Bud, how's that tinkering working out for ya? This of course doesn't even touch upon the constant risk of gifting an unearned home-field advantage in the World Series to a low-seeded team...you know, kinda like what just happened 3 months ago in the 2011 Series. Increase the significance of one single exhibition game, while simultaneously reducing the value of the entire 162-game regular season. Brilliant Bud. Simply brilliant.

(For the record, this is by no means armchair quarterbacking on my part. I hated the meaningful-exhibition-game idea the moment it was introduced. And actually, I didn't much care for the alternating-league home-field advantage rule that it replaced. Playoff teams should be rewarded for having better records than their opponents. We do it that way in the other two playoff rounds. In any case, I simply knew everyone would yawn at the "it counts!" idea. I certainly did.)

Not one to rest on his laurels, Bud now has a new target for generating fan interest: the MLB playoffs themselves. Specifically, Bud is furthering the push to add another wildcard team to the playoff pool, an idea that has been bantering around for the past few years. However, it's not a real playoff team per se; this 2nd team will merely lock horns with the other wildcard team for a one-game playoff, the winner of which will go on to face the #1 team in the league. If that sounds eerily like the NCAA Basketball play-in game, then congratulations, you are paying complete attention. Now, when was the last time you rearranged your work and/or personal schedule so that you could catch that compelling all-important 64 vs. 65 matchup? Never? Like hell you say.

Simply put, this idea is dumb. It's not going to have any grand effect on fan interest...if it has any effect at all. The problem? There is simply no foolproof playoff scheme that can account for every possible playoff race scenario. If it's "boring" to have one team far ahead of the others in a wildcard race, it will be just as boring to have two teams far ahead of all the others in the race. Will these two teams break their necks down the stretch, jockeying for positioning to have that all-important play-in game at home? Maybe...but not as much as they'll be trying to set up their pitching rotation to make sure their ace is pitching that game. Ask any manager if he'd rather have his #4 pitcher starting at home, or his ace pitching on the road.

And what of the playoffs after the play-in game? Now you have a slightly-weary team, perhaps one that's flying all over the country in a span of days, unable to start their ace in game one of the divisional series, and unable to use the ace twice in the 5-game series, thereby eliminating one of the most exciting, most compelling and scariest prospects of the MLB playoffs. I cannot wait for some top-heavy-pitching team -- i.e. a team with one good starter and a bunch of also-rans filling out the rotation -- to finish 10 games in back of the first wildcard team in the standings, win the play-in game (due to their one superb pitcher), and then become chew-toy playoff fodder for their best-in-league divisional series opponent.

We see versions of this kind of one-trick pony team with some regularity; opening up the pool of teams only increases the chance of having such a team sneak into the divisional round, only to be overmatched and massacred by their league-leading foe, all because they've been forced to exhaust the one competitive advantage they could have used, the one chance they might've had to keep up with the bigger dog.

Naturally, this scenario of de-fanging a one-pitcher staff is but one specific risk. However, each and every one of these wildcard teams would undoubtedly be negatively affected by that one-game playoff. Okay, so maybe the rest of your rotation behind your ace isn't made up of single-A callups and home-run derby pitching coaches. But there's a reason why you consider one pitcher on your staff to be your ace. It's because he's the one guy you feel most confident turning to when you absolutely positively have to get a win. He's the one guy who you *will* turn to in that situation. Teams who have 2 or more of those guys? They don't end up as 5th and 6th seeds in the league. They win divisions.

So, regardless of the makeup of the wildcard teams, you are fairly assured of having a lower-seeded divisional series opponent that will be starting on the road *and* unable to use their ace until game 3 or 4. Wait, what's that? There *is* no game 4 because your team got swept, so your ace *never* gets to pitch in the series at all? Poor you. How'd that play-in game win work out for ya? This is something that happens occasionally in the playoffs; having a mandatory play-in game ensures it will happen on a near-yearly basis -- twice.

Last season, September saw Tampa, Boston, and LA in the AL, and St. Louis, Atlanta and Milwaukee in the NL, engaging in two frantic "races" in the final weeks of the season for the single wildcard spot in each league (I use the term 'race' loosely, because you normally don't see a contestant in a race running in reverse the way the Red Sox and Braves were). But what if there were two wildcard spots? The final week of the Tampa/Boston American League race would've been wholly uninteresting. No amount of clubhouse chicken and beer would've made Boston get lapped by *two* teams. Once the Greater Los Angeles Anaheim Area Angels of Disneyland Incorporated fell too far behind both Boston and Tampa, the lure of the 'race' would've been over. Same with the National League race. The magical final weekend would've lost all significance and suspense. That final day I spent in my local sportsbar with my head on a swivel following four (or was it 6?) games? I wouldn't have bothered to leave the house. That absolutely magical (no histrionics here; it truly was) 3-minute stretch where Boston and Tampa swapped playoff positions one final time? Who would care? Hell, would it have even happened? A weekend, if not an entire week, of excitement and suspense, sacrificed for a single game. One which could very well end up being a blowout, further whittling down a week's worth of suspense into two or three innings.

Did I mention that this change would also likely completely kill the fantastical notion of the one-game playoff? Now, instead of having a handful of these games scattered throughout MLB history (Yankees/Red Sox in the 70s, Tigers/Twins a few seasons ago), you will have two, every single year. The uniqueness of the game, the lore of the phrase, will be completely lost. Hell, a decade from now, we may not even view those historical game-163's in the same nostalgic light.

So, from the final weeks of the regular season, to the divisional playofs, to the mystical history of past playoff games, there will be no end to the carnage Bud is about to unleash on us.

Attempting to create a false pretense of excitement at the end of the regular season, meanwhile simultaneously diluting one entire divisional playoff series...which naturally effects the league championship series and beyond. Brilliant Bud. Simply...brilliant.

The Pandemic of Lazy And Dumb Sportswriting

2012-01-12T18:53:00.003-05:00

On the very remote chance you've taken the time to scan some of my other blog offerings, you may have noticed a unifying theme: I detest terrible writing. And in particular, I have a special hatred for poor sportwriting. Naturally, I don't mean those who cannot so much as form grammatically-correct passages or spell properly -- they deserve as much pity as they do ire -- but rather people who waste paragraph upon paragraph writing pointless bile and illogical tripe. Laziness also gets my goat in equal measure. So without further ado, I present to you:

Dumb Writer #1 and Dumb Writer #2.

Now, NY Daily News -- and NY Post -- are publications of which I loathe to read any section, so it took my boy Cook to point me to these lazy pieces of journalism. (Not that all of the major sports publications aren't saddled with their own shabby writing.) But, right after watching the NY Knicks defeat the Philadelphia 76ers at the Garden last night, Cook and I predicted there would be some dumbwriter that would draw for the easy "the Sixers were playing their third game in three nights and were tired" excuse. And right on cue...What is almost comical is the offhanded way in which the second dumbwriter constantly refers back to the Sixers 3-in-3 stretch and their supposedly-tired legs. "The Knicks could've pulled away, but didn't manage to against a team that must've had dead legs..."

Now, perhaps you're thinking that the 3-in-3 stretch was, in fact, a plausible excuse. Allow me to halt your thinking in its tracks. To start, Philly is a young team, among the youngest in the NBA. If there's anyone equipped to handle a brutal stretch, it's them, even taking into account the fast pace at which they play. However, was this stretch really brutal? The first two games were in Philly, and the third in NY. With the lack of travel, you might as well just call that three home games. Hell, with Philly players typically calling New Jersey their home, there's a very real chance there is a Sixer or two for whom the trip to the Garden was a shorter commute. But here's the real kicker: the second game, the one just prior to last night, was a blowout. A laugher. A brutal 27-point beatdown (of the Sacramento Kings). None of the Sixer starters even played the 4th quarter; all but one played under 30 minutes. Outside of Holliday and Turner (a sub), the top rotation guys logged 29, 25, 22, 22, and 21 minutes. THIS is the team you think is so worn out? Give me a freakin' break.

Last weekend, Oklahoma City had a 3-in-3 swing where they had to fly to Houston, then back home, in between the games. Then, after an off-day, they had another back-to-back (so, 5 games in 6 nights). That is a brutal stretch. A 3-game stretch with 2 home games, the 2nd a blowout, and a 90 mile trip on New Jersey Transit? Boo hoo cry me a river.

Now, if these writers were angling for excuses, for mitigating factors to devalue the Knicks win, they might have noticed that the Sixers starting center, Spencer Hawes, got injured in that second game and didn't play the Knicks. Hawes has been getting print all over sports websites for his surprising early-season play. Scan both articles above; neither of the words "Spencer" nor "Hawes" even appear once! Two writers and neither of them noticed the opponent was without their starting center? One of the most improved players in the entire league so far? What the hell do they pay these sportswriters for?

Hawes being out had much more to do with last night's game than some cookie-cutter lazy notion of tired legs. Anybody who watched that game and surmised the Sixers were tired needs to visit their optometrist. Hawes being out obviously altered the Sixers rotation, disrupting their bench which, as the writers pointless trotted out, is among the league leaders in scoring. Well, lo and behold, late in the 1st and 3rd quarters -- when the bench came in -- the Knicks went on big runs, 14-2 to end the first. Those two runs effectively decided the game, forcing Philly to play uphill all night long. Hmm, an offensive eruption against a bench playing their first game with an altered rotation. Gee, who would'a thunk it. Seriously, this really is not rocket science, people.

For comparison purposes, let's look at a passage from the Associated Press coverage of the game:

...the Sixers, who played without starting center Spencer Hawes, who strained his lower back Tuesday night. They shot just 39.5 percent from the field.
"We really missed a guy like Spencer in a game tonight because he's our best passing guy and we like to play out of the post and do some of that stuff. So I was really just trying to work on the fly," Philadelphia coach Doug Collins said.

Local sportswriters and sportscasters are damn-near legendary for their myopia. These two clearly know little to nothing about the league outside of the guys donning blue and orange. It is unforgivable that they would draw for this cookie-cutter "tired" excuse and NOT EVEN MENTION the Spencer Hawes injury. Ridiculous. And I'm sure by tomorrow they will have the nerve to criticize players who just go through the motions.

Mitch Lawrence, and Tim Smith, take a bow. The sports fans of the City of New York just grew a little bit dumber today.

When Senility Attacks

2012-01-04T17:47:00.001-05:00

Disclaimer: I don't write this entry to make fun of anyone's mental state, but the mind-boggling nature of two articles I just read leaves me at a loss for any other explanation.

ESPN's John Clayton put forth two articles today -- one for the NFC, one for AFC -- giving a grade to every NFL team as we bid adieu to the 2011 regular season. Among a litany of curious grades, and reasonings for them, came the following two gems:

"Green Bay Packers: Grade: A+
The Packers almost had a perfect season, but there was no question they had the perfect quarterback in Aaron Rodgers. Even though he didn't throw for 5,000 yards, he still had 45 touchdown passes. (b)Rodgers' performances covered for a defense that gave up 411.6 yards a game.(b)"

"New England Patriots: Grade: B
The offense gets an A. Tom Brady threw for 5,235 yards and 39 touchdowns and tight end Rob Gronkowski developed into an offensive superstar. (b)The defense pulled down the grade because it gave up 411.1 yards a game and 26 touchdown passes.(b)"

Excuse me? Wow. A mind truly is a terrible thing to waste. I'm not sure what else to say here. Or if anything else needs to be said.

In case you were wondering, or holding out some hope that there might be some sort of justification for giving one team a pass on a horrific flaw, then knocking another team down a full grade for the exact same flaw......the Packers gave up *29* touchdown passes (to the Foxboronians' 26). And the two teams gave up an identical 39 TDs to opposing offenses.

Aside from the hilariously and perfectly contradictory entries, there really is no sound reasoning available in this universe to give a team with such a porous defense a perfect grade. A perfect grade implies, well, perfection; implies that there is nothing that can be improved upon for this team. Anyone who so much as thinks (much less writes) that there is nothing that can be improved upon for a team that ranked deal last in defense should spend the next two weeks in Lambeau Field as a tackling dummy for the Packers to (s)practice(s) learn on. If the Packers had a defense like the Ravens, Steelers, or 49ers, and awesome special teams to boot, the postseason would've been cancelled already; there'd be no point in playing the games. They'd be winning games 70-7. *That* would earn a team a perfect grade. Besides, if this team gets an A+, what about a team that has a upper-echelon defense to boot? A++? A+ squared? A+ times infinity? Pfff.

John Clayton: Grade: F.

I'll keep this one short and get into other happenings in sports in another entry; reasoning as patently ridiculous as his deserves space all to itself.

Streak-busters, End-zone Allergies, and other short points

2011-12-21T16:23:00.001-05:00

* Green Bay loses, and the 1972 Dolphins host another champagne-popping party. Or at least, I suppose they did. Do they still do that anymore? Haven't heard. I know I certainly wine-toasted the Chiefs on Sunday. That's not conjecture; I did, literally. Yes, I consider the Packers a rival (a nice yet completely disingenious way of saying I am a hater. But, knowing that I'm a 49er fan, if you followed the NFL in the mid-to-late 1990s, you should know why I don't harbour warm fuzzy feelings for the Packers. And if you don't know, look it up; I make it a point to avoid recounting painful memories.) So what to make of their loss? Are the Packers *now* suddenly vulnerable? Will teams dissect the Chiefs gameplan and find the crack in the Cheesehead armour? Who knows. Doubtful at best. Not that I think they're a lock to repeat. I personally can't trust that a team whose defense is as porous as the Packers' has an easy or direct path to the Lombardi Trophy...But what a win for the Chiefs and their newly-installed interim head coach. Imagine, your team is riding a 6-game losing streak, you get suddenly installed as the new head coach, and your first task is to prepare for a 13-0 team in under a week. Talk about defying the odds.

* The Indianapolis Colts win! Off with paper bags! So, in the past 5 or so years, we've had two teams with a real shot to run the 19-0 table (Packers and New England Patriots), and two teams seriously threaten to go 0-fer (Detroit Lions "succeeded" where the Colts "failed"). Remind me: isn't this supposed to be the era of parity?

* I'm not sure what to make of the 49ers man-handling of the Steelers on Monday night. It certainly was impressive on the scoreboard, but Pittsburgh did outgain them in yardage, and it would've been a much different game were it not for two early interceptions deep in 49er territory. But they played more than well enough to beat a very good team handily, particularly after they came out of the locker room in the second half. Alex Smith especially; he was throwing every which way but accurate to wide open receivers in the first half, then was suddenly dead-eye on-target in the second half. If *he* was able to hit the side of the barn in the first 2 quarters, the game might've been over at halftime. So, again, what to make of the 49ers win? I dunno. It was certainly nice to see them get over their season-long allergy to the end-zone. They did much better in that regard in 30 minutes against a good Steeler defense than they did in 60 against the Cardinals. (Speaking of which, that game, in a word: yuck).

* Shouldn't the Giants display some New York/New Jersey comraderie and just fall down on Saturday so that at least one Jersey A/B team has a shot at the playoffs? Give the NYC area something to look forward to in January? C'mon Giants, show your NY pride!......OK, I'm just poking fun at my Jersey/A fans here. Every year their team ruins Christmas (shopping) for them. Poor things.

Switching sports...

* Chris Paul says NBA teams will now be gunning for the new-look Los Angeles Clippers. Mars to CP3: "gunning" is reserved for defending champions and good-but-despised teams. No one is "gunning" for you, because you have no status or notoriety that a team can obtain by defeating you. Teams will certainly be *gearing* up for you, knowing that you're no longer a pushover, and that they need to be on their A-game to keep "Lob City" from giving the scoreboard operator a repetitive-stress injury. But that is vastly, vastly different than "gunning" for you.

* DeAndre Jordan -- one of CP3's Lob City targets -- is really a monster. I'll be very interested to see how good he becomes. And enjoy the rim-abusing highlights along the way. (Incidentally, I can say all this freely, without looking longingly at what-could-have-been, only because of the Knicks' signing of Tyson Chandler. I cringe at the thought of how much wailing I might've subjected myself to had the Knicks not filled their doughnut hole this offseason. Welcome Tyson, welcome.)

* With his unique God-given natural footwork and body movement, I can foresee Blake Griffin benefitting from one of those summer-camp low-post sessions with Hakeem Olajuwon. As much as Kobe did, and probably way moreso than LeBron, who, for all his gifts, doesn't seem quite as naturally fluid as the other aforementioned players. (Sidebar: do players pay Hakeem for his time? And if so, how much? Or is this Hakeem's generous give-back to the game of basketball? You'd have to imagine he'd get some kind of reimbursement for his time and effort, though I've yet to hear or read anything specific on this. I'm just curious). Anyways, I'm likely jumping the gun a little -- Wicked Blake probably should take a few years in the league to grow and become acclimated to everything going on in the paint before focusing a whole summer on that aspect -- but I can foresee the second coming of the "Dream Shake" with this kid. (The Blake Shake? Hmm ok, forget I said that...unless of course people actually start using it, at which point I maintain all rights, ownership and pride therein).

* Silly, dumb notion from ESPN's Larry Coon that the "Derrick Rose Rule" should be re-nicknamed after Kevin Durant, since he is now the first player to benefit from it. Ummm...no. What's next, renaming the Larry O'Brien trophy the "Boston Celtic Championship Award" because they've won it the most? The rules are nicknamed for the players whose unique circumstances first made people realize the rule was needed. Allan Houston's overblown contract made people want to give teams a do-over on bad contracts. Derrick Rose made people want to reward young rookie-contract franchise players. It is much more telling and interesting from a historical perspective to remeber that the Knicks languished for years under the weight of Houston's contract than it is to recall the minor benefits that San Antonio got from amnestying Michael Finley. It is equally more interesting to know that Derrick Rose was sorely underpaid given all his talent and contributions because of his rookie contract than it is to know that Kevin Durant is duly compensated. The nicknames are completely a propos. The season's about to start Mr. Coon; couldn't you have found something even remotely valid ~~to write~~ to waste our time reading about? If you were looking for a clever way to discuss Durant's extension...that wasn't it.

Maybe one day sports publications will create an amnesty provision for weak sportswriters...

Ramblings Of A Stat Geek

2011-12-15T10:19:00.001-05:00

No, I'm not referring to myself. Some stat geek over at ESPN took a numbers-based approach to outlining a supposed decline in Chris Paul's game, citing drops in both his assist totals and his usage rate. He looked at statistics over the last four seasons, and, upon seeing lower numbers in the seasons between '09-'11 than from '07-'09, he immediately concluded that CP3 is in decline. Honestly, I don't know why ESPN subjects us to this driv...actually, I do. They know subjects like this get the internets talking, and generating web clicks; and look at me, all the way out in Mars, discussing it just the same. I feel baited. But, I'll keep clamping down on the hook in my mouth...

This stat-based analysis is so bereft of logic that to resist slicing it to shreds is unbearable. If you're doing a study, you have to make sure that outside factors aren't influencing your conclusions in ways your study doesn't address. There are a myriad of reasons why a point guard's assists and usage may drop. Hell, the drop in usage rate alone would affect the decline in assists! (Hmm, let's see, a guy handles the ball less, and his assists drop. Wow! Gee, I wonder if a decline in minutes played may also miraculously affect his assists.)

There are two incredibly-obvious factors that could explain a drop in assists or in usage rate: personnel and coaching. In the case of the Hornets, both changed over the years in question. Who sound like better recipients of alley-oop passes: Tyson Chandler and Chris Andersen, or Emeka Okafur? Andersen left after the 2007 season; Chandler was swapped for Okafur prior to the 2009 season...the first season of the assist-numbers decline. Gee, what a wild random coincidence. We should just end the discussion right here. Okafur is no slouch -- far from it -- but he is not nearly the athletic flyer around the rim that Chandler and Birdman Andersen are. Those roster moves are good for one-two assists less per game all by their lonesome. But there's more. In the "up" two years, the Hornets top 3-pt shooters were a sharp-shooting Peja Stojakovich, Morris Peterson, Rasual Butler, and James Posey. Last year, that list had devolved to Marco Bellinelli and...Trevor Ariza. Ouch. Trevor thus far has proven he can't hit the side of a barn more than once a game, no matter how many tries he gets. If you're a slashing PG looking for someone to kick out to, and he's your top option, call a masonry and kiss your assists good-bye. David West remains the one constant for the Hornets as a scorer over the entire 4 years, but guess what? Dumping the ball into the post and watching a guy make a myriad of moves gets you 2 points on the board and zero in your assist column. So, with two sets of roster changes, you have drastically reduced the most effective ways a guy like Paul gets assists, and increased his dependence on prospects that do not. Are we still wondering why his assists have taken a hit?

As for usage rate, the Hornets also underwent a coaching change, before the 2010 season, bringing in Monty Williams. Now, this is admittedly just conjecture, but is it not more than possible that Coach Monty runs an offense that spreads the ball around a bit more? And also, with the roster changes, are you not more reliant on Paul to be a recipient of passes while spotting up for three than ever before? Which, again, means you're putting the ball in other players' hands, lowering Paul's usage? Didn't Darren Collison -- a point guard -- play huge minutes the entire 2009 season, so much so to cause a mild NFL-like quarterbacking controversy for a period of time?

Now, there is also the fact that Chris Paul spent half of that 2009-2010 season on the bench injured, and the other half playing on one leg while recovering from injury; naturally, that could also explain a drop in his numbers. I mention this here instead of earlier, not to bury it beneath factors that are external to the player and thus help prove my point, but merely because I am responding to an article whose focus was solely the play of Paul himself. While his knee injury definitely needs to be noted as a possible cause for the decline in numbers, the point of this blog entry is that you can't just roll out a barrel of stats, like assists and usage rate, that are infinitely affected by the personnel and staff around a player, and blindly conclude that any and all changes reflect solely on the player in question.

As far as numbers go, I can't even give one vis-a-vis a grade to ESPN's stat geek; his column gets a solid "I-incomplete".

Death Of A Conspiracy

2011-12-15T08:22:00.001-05:00

Now that Chris Paul has indeed been traded to the LA Clippers (for Eric Gordon, Aminu, Chris Kaman, and a first-round draft pick), we see there was no grand scheme or conspiracy to keep him languishing in New Orleans. No block of owners yanking David Stern by the marionet strings to prove that small markets could keep their stars, or that the lockout wasn't all for naught (yes, Bill Simmons, you can kindly go face the corner and be quiet now). No grand hatred of the Lakers or collusion to keep them from gaining another star player. No lawsuit to be filed over rejected trades (yes, Mitch Lawrence of the NY Daily News, you can ever so kindly shut up now).

After nearly a week of weeping and wailing and gnashing of keyboards over the supposedly-horrible supposed-precedent supposedly set by killing the original Laker-Rocket deal, suddenly writers and commenters are coming out of the woodwork to actually credit Stern for making the right deal. Huh? Where were they all before? It's as if we just returned from the other side of the looking glass.

I said it before -- repeatedly for a week now -- this was strictly about the long-term health of the Hornets franchise. Setting yourself up to barely make the playoffs for the next two years, and then inevitably go into rebuilding mode because Lamar Odom and Luis Scola hit 35-years old would've been sheer and utter stupidity. The Laker-Rocket trade would've forced the Hornets to increase salary to bring in players on the downsides of their careers. There are still people arguing for this trade. What do they teach you Earthlings down there that you can't see past one move ahead of yourselves? Perhaps Chess should be mandatory for all grade-school children.

The person who truly deserves blame in this public-relations mess is the Hornets GM. He should've taken one look at the principles they were getting in the first deal, turned it down himself and not waste Stern's or anyone else's time. Was he not properly briefed on his role, on the state of the franchise and their mission going forward? Shouldn't he have had enough sense to figure that out for himself? You'd think he would be infinitely more privy to the relevant financials and statistics to realize the silliness of a deal that looks dumb even from all the way out here on Mars. To paraphrase Tom Haberstroh of ESPN.com: "When Kevin Martin is 'The Young Guy' in a deal, umm Houston, that's gonna be a problem."

Negotiating For Dummies
One last tidbit on the Paul trade: the hyper-reactive crying that was heard from all corners over the Hornets (the NBA) asking the Clippers for all of Gordon, Eric Bledsoe, Aminu, Kaman and the first-round pick. Was that too much for the Clips to give up? Absolutely. So does that mean the Hornets were wrong to ask for all that? No! Does anyone on Earth understand how a negotiation works? You don't start off by making fair offers. That is a guaranteed path to ending up with less than your fair shake. That is not how you broker a trade. One side is supposed to offer too little; the other requests too much. You go thru a round or more of trying to meet in the middle, then stare each other down until one side relents. We just went thru this dance with the labor agreement, and still no one gets it. The trade was never dead or even on hold. We were simply in the stare-down stage, and the Clippers held their steely glare until the Hornets blinked and relented on Bledsoe. While most people were crying foul over the league supposedly blocking another trade (have you ever heard a more gross mis-characterization?), I was saying that the trade will go thru when (note: not if; when) the Hornets lose the stare-down and give up on either Gordon, Bledsoe, or the Minnesota pick. Well, as it turns out, Bledsoe remains a Clipper, and the deal goes thru. Simple. I had absolutely no insider sources to lead me to this prophetic prediction. Just the plain common sense God gave me...that, and I'm not saddled with the type of petulant emotional state that cripples common sense and renders it null and void.

Don't hold your breath expecting the same of the bulk of these sportswriters.

The Day The (NBA) World Stood Still

2011-12-13T13:13:00.006-05:00

Thursday, December 8th, 2011: this date will go down in infamy as the day (nearly) every NBA writer proved themselves to be petulant, blithering, tantrum-throwing children who let feelings instead of the gray matter inside their skulls dictate the keystrokes on their laptops. The reaction to the NBA's blocking the proposed Lakers-Rockets-Hornets deal was immediate, pronounced, scathing, overblown, and absolutely hysterical.

Yes, I'm talking about you, Bill Simmons, J.A. Adande, Michael Wilbon, et. al. Your yelling-fire-in-a-crowed-theater act was utterly disgraceful. The ironic thing about the whole situation is that all of your writings collectively did more to harm the NBA's image and credibility than you claim David Stern's move did. Well, you, together with that equally-petulant child that owns the Cleveland franchise.

The league -- as current owner of the New Orleans Hornets -- said they rejected the deal for "basketball reasons", everyone scoffed, and the phrase became the joke du jour for the entire weekend. Yet, now the Hornets and LA Clippers have submitted a completely different deal, and suddenly all of you have entire egg factories to wipe off of your faces -- or, you would, if your audiences weren't even more hysterical than you. New Orleans is a franchise that will be looking to rebuild after losing their marquee player (having already lost their 2nd-best player in David West) and entice a new owner in the process. Let's compare what the Hornets were getting in the deal that was axed with that of the new proposal:

Rejected deal:
Lamar Odom (32 years old), Luis Scola (31 yrs.), Kevin Martin (28 yrs.), a draft pick, and Gordon Dragic (25 y...wait, who really cares?) Dragic's inclusion reeks of the following exchange between Del Demps, GM of the Hornets, and Daryl Morley, the Rockets GM:

Demps: "Well, we're gonna need a point guard since we're losing CP3"
Morley: "Oh OK. Ummm...." *looks up and down roster sheet repeatedly*
Demps: "*sigh* Hello?"
Morley: "Ummm...." *closes eyes, waves index finger in a circle, then touches roster*
Morley: "Hmm...Drago, yea sure, take this Drago guy."

Latest deal:
Eric Gordon or/and Eric Bledsoe (both 22 yrs. old) or/and Minnesota's unprotected 1st-round draft pick, Al-Farouq Aminu (21 yrs.), Chris Kaman (29 yrs. and a soon-expiring contract)

Which sounds like the better deal for a franchise that is losing it's face, it's one marquee player, and needs to rebuild from scratch? For a franchise that needs to attract a buyer? Who would YOU restart a franchise with: an aging Lamar Odom, or young stud Eric Gordon? Look up from your keyboards for a minute and take a peek at a calendar. By the time a new owner is secured, the principle players of the killed deal will be 33, 32, and 29 years old. Maybe older, if finding a buyer takes another year or more. Who in the world wants to purchase a team whose best players are all in their waning years, and two of whom will be ready to retire 3 years into your investment? This is what you call a winning strategy for securing a new owner? Please, for your sakes, do not ever try to start a business. It is clearly not for you.

You all demonstrated the foresight of an adolescent child, which is precisely what you sounded like in your rambling babbling writings. Each of you owe David Stern and the league an apology; an apology I know naturally is never coming. Adande for starters wrote another diatribe of an article just today, and included this gem:

"you can't say that this deal is any better than the Lakers/Rockets offer. Younger and cheaper, yes, but not better."

Umm, Mars to Adunderhead -- this deal is better BECAUSE it is younger and cheaper. Seriously, why are we being subjected to this total dismissal of foresight? Is there some website I can go to where people on the level of random internet forum commenters aren't masquerading as critically-thinking writers?

While you all sat in furious rage lambasting the alleged lack of "basketball reasons", guess what? The basketball reasons abso-freakin'-lutely made the most sense. From both a business and basketball standpoint, the new deal they are trying to secure is 50 times more appealing for the long-term health of that franchise. This is not even remotely debatable.

An ongoing ESPN poll had roughly 76% of the voters (over 15,000 votes when I checked) saying the old deal was the better one. I blame this gross lack of foresight and group-non-think on these over-hysterical sportswriters -- well, that, and the American education system (but that's another article for another day). An Odom-Scola-Martin-led team is a team of now with no foreseeable future of which to speak, a team only the most desperate of buyers will want. What happens if shopping the Hornets drags on for another year or two? Now we're talking about 34-year-olds as the face of the franchise. Brilliant.

All those articles smacked of a hatred of David Stern, plain and simple. They were knee-jerk reactions without a moment's pause for objectivity or forethought. "Stern axed the deal? Oooh he's cow-towing to the owners!" For the record, I am no David Stern fan. I disagree with his moves, opinions, and posturing as often as it rains in Seattle (there's a bit of hidden meaning behind that analogy; can you find it?). But, knowing this, any time some new move comes about, I take time to pause and consider: am I hating on this simply because I'm predisposed to disliking Stern, or would I disagree with this no matter the source? Am I jumping to conclusions -- you know, like you did with the owners? Or is there validity in this opinion?

Some of you should take stock of your emotional states. Reading your articles made me think I was judging entries from a Bipolar Essay Writing Competition. Last Thursday (and Friday) will truly go down in infamy, but not in the way your knee-jerk reactions stated. Has there ever been a day that has seen more misguided caterwauling and crying en masse? Someone contact Guinness Book or the Elias Sports Bureau. Yes, the image of the NBA suffers (even more). And Stern and his cronies will have to work hard to repair the damage that you thoughtlessly and recklessly caused.

Annnd We're Off! NBA Offseason Madness Day 1, Part II

2011-12-09T09:44:00.005-05:00

My oh my oh my. Was this really only the first day of the NBA free agency season? How can we top all that transpired yesterday, short of a 5-team trade that brings LeBron, Howard, Wade, Durant, and Kobe to the Minnesota Timberwolves? Let's start with a short summary of the (rest of the) day's events:

* Collective Bargaining Agreement is made official; play ball!
* Lakers attempt trade for Chris Paul; NBA slaps them on the hand and puts them on timeout
* Caron Butler to sign with the Clippers
* Celtics acquire Keyon Dooling for a 2nd-round pick...or for the Cheers Season 1 DVD and a bowl of clam chowder
* Thunder unsure what to do with Nate Robinson…but they know they don't him to play
* Dwight Howard reportedly will request trade to the Nets
* Previously free-spending Mark Cuban gets possessed by the soul of a Wal-Mart shopper
* Shannon Brown to sign with the Suns

First off of course is the mega-deal that was...and then wasn't. The Lakers, Hornets, and Rockets agreed to a trade to send Chris Paul to the Lakers, Pau Gasol to the Rockets, and Lamar Odom, Luis Scola, Kevin Martin, Gordon Dragic, and a 2012 pick to the Hornets. The NBA owners, most (if not all) of whom were hanging out in New York (presumably sipping bubbly bought with a bit of that 3 billion bucks they just wrenched from the players), caught wind of the trade, caught a collective hissy-fit, threw up their hands and raised all hell to David Stern about the three misbehaving kids in the back of the classroom. Stern, almost immediately, put the deal on hold, took a while to compose himself after a fit of laughter, then called the miscreant ringleader to the front of the classroom, whacked the back of his hand with a ruler and took away his shiny new toy.

Seriously, this is one hilarious episode for everyone involved or emotionally invested. Hundreds of Laker fans are wiping egg off their faces and cursing the day David Stern’s parents went on their first date. ESPN’s J.A. Adande admonished the league for undercutting the Hornets, while ESPN’s John Hollinger praised the league for saving the Lakers from themselves. And Knick fans everywhere sighed in relief and went to sleep with renewed illogical hope that their prized free-agent would soon end up under Madison Square Garden’s Christmas tree. But let me go back to Laker fans for a moment, who are saying en masse that David Stern blocked this trade because he hates their team so much. Lemme get this straight: 9 years ago, everyone said Stern pushed the refs to let the Lakers beat the Kings; 4 years ago, everyone said Stern let the Gasol trade go thru because he so wanted the Lakers to be elite again; last year, everyone said Stern was beside himself with schoolgirl-giddy joy, rolling around like a lottery winner in mounds of cash and bathing in tub-fulls champagne, because the Lakers and Celtics back were in the Finals…and now Laker fans are submitting that David Stern actually hates the Lakers? You people cannot be serious.

However, there’s an angle to this mess that no one to this point seems to be discussing: the Rockets. Specifically: what on Earth in the name of Dr. James Naismith were they thinking? If the league saved the Lakers from shooting themselves in the foot, they saved the Rockets from dousing themselves in kerosene, lighting themselves on fire, and jumping off the roof of a skyscraper. You’re trading Luis Scola, Kevin Martin, Gordon Dragic, and 2012 pick to get…Pau Gasol? Really? To now have a team with Gasol, Courtney Lee, Chase Budinger, Jonny Flynn, Kyle Lowry, Hasheem Thabeet, Terrance Will…(ok, I can’t go on. The rest of the names only become increasingly anonymous.) Seriously, this is your plan for life after Yao Ming? Everyone complained about the 2008 Pau Gasol-to-Lakers trade, but I have always held that it was fair because of the Grizzlies’ stated need to shed salary and rebuild the team. The fact that the principle player they received, Marc Gasol, has blossomed into a very good center, and that the other acquired assets were flipped into Zach Randolph, has removed all validity from all arguments against the trade (not that this prevents the occasional babbling internet forum troll from whining about it to this day). But this Gasol trade? This truly defies logic. Unless I’m not paying attention, I have yet to hear anyone say the Rockets are in salary-cap hell. Everyone has been saying that their stated purpose is to find a center to replace Yao Ming. So, instead of going after Nene or the other available free-agents centers, you trade the only two players who’ve ever so much as sniffed a single All-Star vote for a power forward who’s never fared well when forced to masquerade as a center? Seriously? I need someone, some writer on the interwebs, to explain this to me. When I originally heard the trade was put on hold, I immediately assumed it was the Rockets who balked after speaking with Shane Battier, who, compelled by a sense of duty, called to give a brief history lesson on the futility of building a team with Pau Gasol and spare parts.

From a certain point of view, this trade hardly makes sense for the Lakers, either. You give up the only power forwards on your team, trading away the biggest advantage that made you a perennial contender? I know Chris Paul is a unique talent, but who in LA is going to play the 4, the artist formerly known as Ron Artest? Joe Smith? Derrick Caracter? Hell, why not Derek Fisher, or Derek Jeter for that matter? You couldn’t guard Dirk Nowitzki last April with three 7-footers, so your solution is one 7-footer and a pesky 6-footer? Teams like Dallas and Oklahoma City have spent the past 2-3 years getting bigger up front with the sole purpose of matching the Lakers size advantage. To trade it all away simply to get Kobe the point guard he’s always coveted is not the answer. And somehow swapping Andrew Bynum for Dwight Howard isn’t going to do the trick either. Unless you missed a lesson in basic math, 1-1+1=…1. In a way, I’m almost saddened this trade didn’t go thru. With Tyson Chandler all but gone from the Mavericks, the Lakers suddenly turning into a 6’6”-and-under league, the Rockets mutating into the 2005-2007 Grizzlies, the Spurs slowly rusting, and everyone else from Portland to Phoenix in a state of flux, you might as well just go ahead and pencil the Thunder and Grizzlies in for the Western Finals.

One of those teams in a state of flux would be the LA Clippers, with whom Caron Butler has agreed to sign. For Caron, it’s definitely a better fit with more longer-term upside than the aging Spurs, who he flirted with only one day earlier before wising up and siding with the young, fresh and green Clippers. For the Clips, they now have Wicked Blake, Eric Gordon, Butler, DeAndre Jordan, Al-Farouq Aminu, and others; for the most part, a young team with a fairly bright future. By all accounts, the Clips have only begun wheeling and dealing, so it probably makes more sense to wait for more moves before seeing how this shakes out. Caron makes them a decidedly better, if not quite a contending, team.

Back east, the Celtics acquired Keyon Dooling in a trade for ~~a second-round pick~~...well, no one’s quite sure yet what exactly the Celtics have offered the Bucks for the privilege of acquiring Mr. Dooling’s services, after initially reporting they were giving up a draft pick. Did the “sources” not bother to mention it? Did the reporters not care enough to ask? Did the Bucks not care what they got in return? I can hear it now:

Phone rings in Milwaukee Bucks GM’s office
“Hi, this is Danny Ainge, of the Celtics.”
“Hey Danny, what’s up?”
“We’d like to trade for Keyon Dooling, we’ll offer…”
“You what? Sure, no problem, it’s a deal.” *click*

Whatever the reason, the fact that no one yet knows seems entirely appropriate.

The Thunder put Nate Robinson in purgatory. OKC’s GM is quoted as saying they don’t know what they’re going to do with Nate, but he’s not in the team’s plans going forward. Which, really, seems to be saying: we don’t want him, but we’re not sure anyone else wants him either. Poor Nate. It seems only months ago he was torturing the Knicks' Mike D’Antoni with alternating 20-point breakout nights and 2-12 shooting meltdowns. Then he drifts between two championship contenders, who, after giving him some initial playing time, eventually decide he’s much more valuable to the team as a cheerleader and seat warmer. And now this. This is definitely not a forward direction for his career.

Sources say that Dwight Howard will soon ask to be traded to the Nets. That egg on Laker fans’ faces is about to turn into an omelet. Seriously, show of hands: which of you are prepared to go forward with Kobe Byrant’s medically-regenerated yet ageing knees, Andrew Bynum’s freak-accident knees, and Chris Paul’s balky knee? I just love the hubris I’ve been seeing and getting from Laker fans, their absolute certainty that Howard was on the way. It’s been reported that Dwight Howard spent part of the summer having pow-wows with Deron Williams about the possibility of teaming up. Honestly, is there any better reason for Deron to come out and say he’s 90% certain he’ll stay in ~~Jersey~~Brooklyn? And better yet, there have been whispers – quiet ones – that Dwight is at least somewhat apprehensive about looking like he’s willfully following Shaquille O’Neal’s entire career arc to the letter.

My To-Do List:
~~Get drafted by Orlando~~
~~Adopt Superman moniker~~
~~Lose NBA Finals~~
Force trade to Lakers

Now, unlike most fans, I don’t aspire to speak the thoughts of people whom I’ve never met, never spoken to, and likely have a snowball’s chance in hell of befriending. However, I can’t see how anyone in his position could not be sensitive to how this would look. He’d have to win 6 straight titles in LA to break out of Shaq’s shadow…and I’m having a little difficulty imagining Kobe in a ring ceremony at 39 years old. Not to mention having to be reminded of said shadow each and every Thursday when you tune into TNT and see Shaq’s smiling mug? Hell, I’ll say it: I personally would lose a ton of respect for Dwight (not that this matters any, but still...). I don’t care how much you want rings; there has to be a point where you say to yourself, “there’s got to be another team, another way”.

So apparently, the new CBA has transformed Mark Cuban from a free-wheeling big spender to a coupon-clipping bargain hunter? He is now looking to shed every free-agent salary – namely, Caron Butler, Tyson Chandler, J.J. Barea, and likely Deshawn Stevenson – to get under the cap? What? Did I just pass thru the looking glass? It’s said he’s setting himself up to get in on the 2012 free agency period. Umm Mark, if you haven’t heard, all of the prized free agents are going elsewhere. Let’s say Dwight decides to start anew in ~~Jersey~~Brooklyn, and CP3 weasels his way to the Celtics, Lakers, or another suitor who doesn't care if he signs an extension. You really think a by-then-34-year-old Dirk is gonna be enough to convince CP3 to sign over the rest of his prime to the Mavericks? Especially with the Knicks, his preferred destination, employing Tyson Chandler, his preferred center? And after him, who’s left that you covet so highly? I think Cuban’s going about this all wrong. You should just do what you need to do to wring every bit of another 2 years of contention out of this team, and take the subsequent lean rebuilding years lumps like a man. Watch a DVD of your title years if you get too depressed during the time. The attempt to circumvent after-championship downfall years didn’t work for the post-Jordan Bulls, it’s not working for the Detroit Pistons, and it ain’t gonna work for you either. You’re about to waste the rest of Dirk’s prime chasing an illusion.

Finally, Shannon Brown has agreed to sign with the Suns. So now, if the mega-trade would’ve gone thru, in addition to having no power forwards, the Lake Show would’ve also started camp with exactly one shooting guard? Has the Miami Heat formula of team-building – subtraction by subtraction – suddenly become the sexiest plan in the NBA?

And, keep in mind, all this was just day one. What’s in store for day two?

Off To The Races! NBA Offseason Madness Day 1

2011-12-08T19:03:00.005-05:00

Well, it seems like the much-promised, lockout-shortened, whirlwind NBA off-season is certainly coming to fruition, with teams scrambling about like shoppers on Christmas Eve buying up the last-remaining undented goods. Just to recap the day:

* Players & owners vote (separately) on the new Collective Bargaining Agreement
* Jason Kapono to Lakers
* Shane Battier to Heat
* Tracy McGrady to Hawks
* Caron Butler visits with Spurs and tweets happy thoughts
* Tyson Chandler close to signing with the Knicks
* Tayshaun Prince stays in Detroit
* Greg Oden stays in Portland
* Mario Chalmers undecided in Miami
and finally,
* Eddy Curry.......to join the Heat!!!

And all this before 4pm today! You get the feeling this just the tip of the iceberg. Mind you, all of these are just reported from various 'sources', some more iron-clad than others. For example, Shane Battier himself tweeted his intentions, meanwhile the sources say Chandler is a 98% lock, so take some of these with a bit of baited breath-holding. But naturally, that won't stop this Martian from expounding a little on all of these moves.

First and foremost, the possibility of Tyson Chandler signing with the Knicks??? I just wet myself. The legitimate defense-first center that Amare' Stoudemire has needed to play beside for roughly 100% of his NBA-career? (Give or take 0.0%) A guy to wipe the glass and clean up (some of) Carmelo's and Amare's defensive lapses? Somebody pinch me. I literally haven't been this joyed about a Knick signing or trade since 1997. For the uninitiated, that was the off-season of Larry Johnson, Allan Houston (the young, confident, and still-driving- to-the- basket version), Chris Childs, et. al. (tangent: it's impossible to convince me that this team wouldn't have at least gone 7 games with the Bulls were it not for Charlie Ward and P.J. Brown becoming impromptu tango partners on the court. The Knicks were utterly destroying the Heat till that point.) Seriously, I know everyone is giddy about the possibility of adding Chris Paul, but please think for a moment about what Tyson did for the Mavericks. This would be big. Huge even. Somebody pinch me again, harder this time. I don't seem to be waking up.

Shane Battier to the Heat. This is sort of like a Mike Miller do- over signing. I was admittedly concerned (as a Knick fan) about what Miller would bring to the Heat, and thought that was a real good deal (for them), but unfortunately, injuries derailed him, badly. I believe that Heat fans never got to see the player their team signed, and that people who railed on him were and are wholly misguided. Injuries happen, and they make you a shell of yourself until they heal fully. But now, Battier? A career 39% 3-pt shooter who rebounds and defends (something I nor anyone has ever accused Mike Miller of doing)? So the See-Me-Three now have someone to help them expend less defensive energy and to hit spot-up open shots to boot? Damn...I mean, good signing. Potentially of course.

Speaking of spot-up shooters, Jason Kapono to the Lakers. LA gets an outside shooter to open up the floor, the one thing they've desperately needed the past year or more. Of course, seeing as how they've been rumoured to trying to trade half their team, maybe they think they need a lot more than that. But Kapono should help their shooting similar to how Battier (Miller) is (was) thought to help the Miami Hea...wait a second, didn't Miami already *have* Kapono, the shooter they needed? If only they'd found a way to keep him during the great Injustice League SuperFriends union fire sale.

While we're on the Heat, we might as well talk about their other 'signings', starting with one Eddy Curry. Hmm. Now, it's probably been 2 years since I've seen the guy, and he's been working out with the Heat for, what, over a year now? So they must see something, but...what? A no-defending, low-rebounding, poor-passing, anti-run-and-gun big guy, to seat next to Chris Bosh? Besides using him as an offensive black hole, how do the Heat view him as an asset to their team? Is he gonna get boards and outlet to start the Wade/James break? Nope. Ward off slashers to the hoop? Nuh uh, not gonna happen. No amount of weight loss is turning Eddy into a rebounder and defender at this late stage. Perhaps they see him as a second-stringer, to provide offense when the Heat 3 (or at least 2) are on the bench exercising their much-ballyhooed talent of blowing kisses to the crowd. Perhaps; not so far-fetched. Beyond that? Hmmm.

Mario Chalmers works out with the Heat, but is still undecided on where he'll sign. Riiight, because teams all across the NBA are falling all over themselves for his services. This is news simply because it's the Miami Heat, which paradoxically makes it news-worthy because...no one really cares. And while we're on resignees that no one else really wants...

Tayshaun Prince to Detroit, and Greg Oden to Portland. Kind of a shame, with both of these guys, more than anything. Prince was such a prototypical championship-component-type guy, a long defender, decent shooter...and now he just seems to be resigned to playing out his days in Detroit, happy with the one ring (and the many years of contention too I imagine). I'd have thought he'd draw some interest from a contender or two out there...or maybe he's not that interested in uprooting and moving. As for Oden? Since the day he shattered his kneecap going *up* for a rebound (not landing, but taking off -- I mean, of the many times you've jumped to get that plastic bowl off the top cabinet shelf, how often has your knee simply exploded on take-off ?), I've been convinced that his legs are just not made for the sport of basketball -- much like Yao Ming. Nothing short of a double-leg transplant is really gonna change that, and it's really a shame, because they're both high-talent and, by all accounts, good-natured guys whose bodies may just not be made for the sport. I very sincerely hope I am completely and utterly wrong.

Finally, that brings us to T-Mac and Caron Butler. McGrady definitely showed he still has value over the past couple years in NY and Detroit. Sadly not the world-beater he once was, but an effective scorer and passer nonetheless. What will his signing mean? For the Hawks, it must mean Jamal Crawford is even more goner than the gone he already was. For the NBA landscape? I think it's been proven through and through that a team led by Joe Johnson, Al Horford, and Josh Smith will always be good...and not much more than that. That's their rock-solid, bulletproof-glass ceiling: good. (And teams that are merely good teams don't win rings.) As for Caron Butler, love his game, not loving this prospective move. Tim Duncan's best NBA days seem to be moving further into the rearview by the day, and once he's gone, what are the long-term prospects for this team? Will Butler over an amnestied Richard Jefferson be the one ingredient to put them over the top from last year? My mind says not really; he's not likely to fix their lack of defense by his lonesome. (It's weird to mention "lack of defense" and "Spurs" in the same sentence, but that thoroughly describes them last year). So if it's not a ring in the short-term, or title-contention in the long-run...I think Caron can do better.

Finally, the most humourous thing to hear over the past couple days in the NBA were the reports that had the Lakers trading Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom for Chris Paul, and then trading Andrew Bynum and some combo of Metta World Peace, Pau Gasol and others for Dwight Howard. Admittedly, I haven't checked the rulebook yet, but I'm pretty sure that NBA rules restrict players to being a member of only one team at a time.

On the MLB baseball front, the Greater Los Angeles Area Disneyland Industries Incorporated Limited All Rights Reserved Angels of Anaheim have signed both Pujols and C.J. Wilson? Ahh hell. Oh well, they're the Texas Rangers' problem for right now. Wait, that may be a good thing...I think. Could be worse; you could be a Mets fan watching your team file for Section-8 housing while the formerly-middling Downtown Miami Marlins sign half of last year's All-Star team.

Till next time...

It's Been A Long Time...

2011-12-02T00:10:00.008-05:00

...I shouldn't have left you, without a strong ~~rhyme~~ blog to step to...Sorry, I've been on a bit of a nostalgic hip-hop trip lately (That is, during the 5% of the time I'm not listening to reggae). It's been over a year since I've felt compelled to exercise my writing skills, and oh so much has happened in sport since (as could only be the case). No need to try to rehash, review, or relive the past few months, so we'll just all act like I've been writing this whole time. Well, except for maybe one tidbit:

* I've been meaning to write an open thank-you letter to Jim Harbaugh for some time now, so here's my chance.

Dear Coach Harbaugh,
May God bless you and grant you health and happiness for all of your days. Sad as it is to admit, watching the 49ers wallow in mediocrity -- and, in some years, downright ineptitude -- over the past 9 or so years eroded my interest in the NFL. I always fancied myself as a fan that loves sport so much that I'd continue to watch regardless of how good or horrible my team is, and my unwavering interest in the NBA (while maintaining loyalty to the New York Knickerbockers) certainly went a long way to proving that point. But, sadly, the NBA may just be, for me, a unique case. I certainly followed the NFL, paid attention to the weekly happenings, gathered with friends during the playoffs, etc., but there was a definite level of detachment compared to the glory days of Joe Montana and Steve Young. So, Coach, by returning the 49ers to relevancy, you've not only given me back my team, you may have given me back an entire sport. These past 9 years, I've been relegated to cheering for the Giants on several occasions (gag!, ugh!, hack!) -- though I must say we as a world are eternally indebted to them for sparing us the unmitigated horror of a 19-0 season. But, finally, the paper bag can come off; I can watch and root for the 49ers with hope, and without a tinge of shame -- last Thursday's drumming at the hands of an obviously-very-good Ravens team notwithstanding. But I digress. Thank you Coach Harbaugh. Thank you for giving me back my team.

* Seriously, you cannot devote an entire article to the supposed need for NBA contraction and not even so much as mention the economic impact removing teams will have on the dozens of businesses and thousands of people in the cities in which those franchises are located. Cut the Clippers, and Donald Sterling just yawns and goes back to collecting rent money (from everyone but people of colour that is). Mr. Bryant, do you have a job lined up for each of a few thousand freshly unemployed people? I am utterly, thoroughly disgusted that anyone would write so much tripe about saving a few dollars from some billionaire's little side business whim and just completely ignore what a franchise means to the infrastructure of the cities and lives of "regular" people. Howard Bryant, you are the 1%.

* OK, so it's really looking like the NBA now stands for Now Ballin' Again. There's so much you can say about the lockout, but, ah well, it's apparently over now. I've been holding my breath, slightly, since word broke about the agreement, seeing as how it up till now is far from official. But with every day comes news of some move in a positive direction -- the players canceling charity games, reformation of the union -- so I guess it's safe to say...ah damnit, I can't do it. I'm still holding my breath, at least until training camps officially open. Maybe. But for the record, generally speaking, I'm not to be counted along with the majority of jealous, hating fans that openly blame the players for the lockout. You (a player) have a unique commodity that singularly fuels a multi-billion dollar industry. If you think you deserve and can get more for your talents, hey, do you. No one would bat an eye if, say, Lady Gaga postponed releasing an album for a few months while she worked out what she thought was a better deal with her record company. I am certainly not about to sit here in a plush cushiony chair and cry about the "injustice" of losing an entertainment option for 2 months. Cry me a river. The only people with legitimate -- very legitimate -- gripes are all the arena workers, the ushers, concession workers, ticket agents, parking attendants, and the affected businesses, bars, restaurants, what have you, that take a serious financial hit every day those arenas are dark. The rest of us need to go read a book and stop the pampered-child bellyaching.

Anyways, the 49ers are back to relevance, the NBA is (uh, I think, maybe, probably) back in business, and Mystic is back to blogging -- completely irregularly-timed, totally event-driven, externally-motivated blogging that is.

600 HRs And The Pursuit Of Memory Loss

2010-08-05T08:10:00.003-04:00

ESPN and the internets are alive with people with severe memory loss. There are endless reams of people falling all over themselves to blame the lack of attention given to Alex Rodriguez's pursuit of his 600th homerun on the fact that he admitted to steroid use in the past. This would seem to indicate that other members of the 600-HR club -- the accepted non-PED users -- received media attention to rival the Miami Heat "Look At Me" Three, right?

Wrong.

To refresh everyone's memories, here is a writeup about the collective yawn the baseball world gave during Ken Griffey Jr's pursuit of 600:

LOS ANGELES – Ken Griffey Jr., the 38-year-old man sitting on the equipment trunk in the corner of the clubhouse this evening, will hit his 600th career home run one of these days, more than all but five players, three of whom are beyond reproach.

Yet, there is no buzz...
Cincinatti Reds teammate Adam Dunn: " It’s a huge deal and it’s almost swept under the rug. I mean, 600. Six hundred! It’s unbelievable. This is so disappointing. He’s a great guy, first and foremost. What he’s done for the game of baseball, it’s sad. It’s a shame. And it’s sad."

So tell me, here you have a guy who is absolutely beloved, who has never been tied to any suspicions of PED's, and yet his 600-club pursuit went largely unheralded. Yet people want us to believe that A-Rod's PED use is the reason his pursuit has not grabbed more attention. Well, it's a load of crap.

Fact is, the baseball world, crazy as it seems, has grown weary of the homerun ball. People barely care about the homerun derby nowadays. And I bet you that Albert Pujols will garner the same type of collective yawn when he starts breaking milestones (he's currently 7 away from 400; notice anyone talking about that?)

The PED use is a crock. Just another example of baseball purists' elevated sense of self-importance.

Tales From The Retired

2010-04-11T09:06:00.011-04:00

Ever since the day I heard Walt "Clyde" Frasier's confused and erroneous remark that newly-acquired Knick Glen Rice didn't have a post-up game, I've known that, oftentimes, past NBA greats don't always have their finger on the pulse of the current state of the game. Yet, because they're able to rest on past laurels, people look to them for opinions on today's game, with mixed results. For every brilliant-minded Hubie Brown, there is a stuck-in-a-time-warp Bill Walton (who, at last sighting, mused that the OKC Thunder can't use youth as an excuse if they don't win the championship, because his youthful '77 Blazers were able to climb the mountain to the promised land. Never mind the fact that there hasn't been another significantly "young" team over the past 40 years to win a ring. Or that his Blazers were a 3-seed, whereas this year's Thunder never looked to reach higher than 6th, a seed that has seen exactly 1 NBA champion, ever -- and are now positioned 8th, a seed that has never fielded an NBA champion.). For every coaching success ala Phil Jackson or Lenny Wilkens, there are the not-so-glittering forays by Magic Johnson and Larry Bird.

But, recently, the NBA.com world was treated to some gems from the mind of Celtic great John Havlicek:

[Bill] Russell would run people down from behind, much like LeBron (James) does. LeBron's the only guy who runs people down from behind, it seems. He's made some incredible plays this year by doing that. Russell did that on more than one occasion almost every game. You don't see Dwight Howard running down a person from behind.

Come again? Are you serious? With all due respect Mr. Havlicek -- and plenty is due -- do you actually take the time to, I dunno, watch an NBA game or two? Or do you just catch up with the weekly top-10 plays on ESPN? An opinion so distorted would strongly suggest the latter. To imply that Dwight Howard doesn't get back on fast-break D and record some highlight-reel chasedown blocks is utter nonsense. To claim that LeBron is the only guy in the league doing it is, well, well...it's putting a strain on my thesaurus to come up with an adjective to properly describe the ridiculousness of such a claim, that's what it is. Off the top of my head, that basically means you've never watched a game with Howard, Chris Andersen, Josh Smith, Dwyane Wade, Gerald Wallace, Kevin Durant, or hell, even Shannon Brown. (Even Devin freakin Harris has multiple chasedowns this year! Multiple!) Meaning you haven't watched the Magic, Nuggets, Hawks, Heat, Bobcats, Thunder, or Lakers, among others, in the past 5 or so years.

And, given that fact, exactly what NBA basketball are you watching? I've long known that, when we use absolutes like "only", "always", "never", and the like, we're usually begging for trouble. No statement more clearly illustrates that than the above. Is LeBron the most well-known for his chase downs? Naturally. What would you expect; he's LeBron freakin' James. He could sneeze and have the most famous snot ever captured on camera in the NBA. But no one would suggest he's the only player that has ever gotten a stuffy nose.

Watch some games Mr. Havlicek; you're missing some great NBA basketball it would seem.

I now move from the unsupported and unsubstantial to the just-plain-out weird:

At times, [Russell] wouldn't even think about blocking their shot. He wanted to make them aware of his presence. Then during the latter part of the game, he would strike. There are times when he would decoy people to think that they were able to get their shot off. He might let them get the shot off so that they weren't hesitant. Then at the end of the game, he would say, 'Oh, this time I'm gonna get him.' He waited for his chances. He was so smart. Guys today just go up and block a ball.

Ahhm, come again? Did you just, essentially, imply that it's ok for guys to take a few plays off? To let guys score early in a game? To randomly give up points? That this is a good strategy? Is this from the Shaq school of mathematics, where 2 points in the first quarter are worth 5 in the fourth?

How about, oh I dunno, blocking a guy's first, second, and third attempt, so that, at the end of the game, he wouldn't even think about bringing "that weak stuff" in there? Thereby eliminating him altogether?

I mean, whether we're talking about help defense or one-on-one defense, if you stop a guy from even thinking about venturing into the lane, it allows the defender to D up even closer on him further away from the basket, all the way out to the perimeter, effectively removing him from the offense altogether. And to suggest that the league leader in shot blocks should deke a few guys early in the game doesn't even make sense from another perspective: do you think Stan Van Gundy would be ok with seeing Dwight let a guy shoot over him? You might as well pour gas on yourself and light a match if you're not worried about that coach seeing you take a play off. I can just imagine the conversation now: "oh don't worry coach, I'm just wink-wink tricking him into thinking he can shoot over me. Watch, when it's a close game in the 4th quarter -- close only because I spent half the game letting him score -- I'll send his shot back to his momma!"

Furthermore, is anybody really that stupid to fall for this ploy? You think there are players that get a shot or two off and begin to believe to that they're the one guy in the league who has block-proof kryponite in his hands? (Yea, Shaq, that's right, a Superman reference, and I ain't talking about you Bizzaro -- lol, I couldn't resist). Maybe 45 years ago, at least before the advent of video scouting, this would've been possible. At this point, I'm pretty sure it's safe to say: the secret's out, Dwight Howard is a shot-blocker (but just in case, keep it hush-hush, we don't want would-be lane-drivers to catch on...)

We always love, and are forever grateful, to the NBA greats for everything they've done for the game. Unfortunately, too often, those contributions don't readily extend into the realm of accurately commenting on today's game.

P.S. this blog post will self-destruct in 5 seconds, which, incidentally, is 4.8 seconds longer than it would take Stan Van Gundy to implode upon watching Dwight take a play off).

PETA Successfully Defends Its Title...

2010-02-25T23:35:00.005-05:00

...as the dumbest, most idiotic collection of moronic jackasses that has ever walked the earth.

PETA pokes fun at Tiger Woods Sex Scandal

Most known for their controversial advertising campaigns, PETA's ad will reportedly include [superimposed on a picture of Tiger Woods] the message, "Too much sex can be a bad thing … for little tigers too. Help keep cats (and dogs) out of trouble: Always spay and neuter!"

Though it may be difficult to find an advertiser willing to post the billboard, Virginia Fort, a campaigner for the animal rights organization, says the ad isn't intended to offend the golfer.

"It's a fun, tongue-in-cheek approach. We hope these billboard companies will understand," Fort said.

As a friend of mine said, perfectly, how does PETA ever hope to be taken seriously by repeatedly engaging in this sort of idiocy?

Let's get a quick updated score on PETA's public antics over the years. First, they compared animal rights to the Jewish Holocaust, and were rightly skewered in the public, threatened by the JADL, pulled the plug on the campaign and apologized. Then, within months, they turned around and compared animal rights to the African Holocaust (slavery, for the uninitiated). They were subsequently skewered, and eventually pulled the plug on the campaign and apologized. Why do I suddenly feel like a broken record?

Then last year, they chastised President Obama for...swatting a fly. Then they wanted to scan Michael Vick's brain to see if the size of his hippocampus would prove he is a sociopath. Then they started a campaign to rebrand all fish with the name "sea kittens".

And now? They believe that poking fun at Tiger's mattress-surfing is the best way to distract people from Tiger's mattress-surfing:

"The world has been transfixed on Tiger's life after Thanksgiving. We're putting the focus where it needs to be," Fort said. "We're sure Tiger will appreciate our attempt — from a story that's distracted the world and followed Tiger — to turn it into something positive for little tigers."

Let's think about this again. PETA says the billboard was an effort to take the focus off Woods' personal life. Seriously. Someone at PETA formulated that thought. Presumably, mulled it over for a second or two. Perhaps ran it by someone. Then, presumably again, handed it off to yet another person, who posted it on their website. Then people came upon the webpage, and no one offered a critique, or a retraction. That's, at the very least, a handful of people that thought this line of reasoning to be sensible, logical.

If PETA actually believes that their antics over the years is helping to win people over to their cause, they are the ones who should be submitting to brain scans. To test for any sign of intelligent life. I merely recalled their holocaust ridiculousness to a friend earlier who described herself as "on the fence" concerning them, and she ran screaming for the ASPCA. True story.

No matter what your cause, your motivation, there is no excuse for any adult to be this patently, repeatedly, stupid. Let alone an entire marketing department, an entire organization.

Congratulations, PETA, on yet another successful title defense.

The U.S.A.: Where Utterly Ridiculous Political Correctness Happens

2010-01-30T07:12:00.012-05:00

Hyper-sensitivity in uber-politically-correct America has reached an all-time low. Seriously. All-time. There is no conceivable way that political correctness could possibly sink any lower. Mark this date -- January 29, 2010 -- for it is the 2012 for common sense in American media. (Mind you, I say this fully knowing that, at some point in the near future, some new issue will trump the one I’m about to discuss.)

But without further ado, here is the latest uproar in NBA circles:

Kobe-LeBron Nike ad features gun language

By BRIAN MAHONEY, AP Basketball Writer Brian Mahoney, Ap Basketball Writer – Sat Jan 30, 12:01 am ET
NEW YORK – An advertisement featuring the NBA's two biggest superstars includes a gun reference, the same week two players were suspended for carrying firearms to the locker room.
The Nike ad, which appears in several publications including Sports Illustrated and ESPN The Magazine, has LeBron James on one page and Kobe Bryant on the other. Along with the slogan, "Prepare For Combat," is a quote from each player showing how tough he is.
Bryant's blurb says: "I'll do whatever it takes to win games. I don't leave anything in the chamber."
The chamber in a gun is the compartment that holds the bullet before it is fired.

Really? Seriously? Like, are you seriously serious? Has anyone that raised and responded to this issue (more on that in a sec) taken even a second to consider how completely asinine they sound? How many so-called gun references our everyday pervade language? Is it now wrong to say a person was fired from their job -- seeing as how a gun fires bullets? But let's not even reach that far. Let's stay focused here.

Kobe Bryant is a shooting guard. Basketball at all levels since the '70s keeps statistics on the number of blocked shots. Every night, over 150 times per game, an announcer reports that a player has shot the ball. Just last Friday, the Indiana Pacers coach summarized his team's recent poor play by saying "We played two championship contenders, and they played like it against us. We did not have enough bullets in our gun to make games of it." Shockingly, no one said nary a word on Mr. O'Brien's gun-tottin' mouth.

Mind you, the O'Brien quote was prefaced, in the very same ridiculous AP article above, by the text "O'Brien was unhappy with his team's poor shooting." Why hello hypocrisy, so nice of you to stop by.

Sadly, it gets worse. When asked about the subject, Kobe Bryant and NBA spokesman Tim Frank agreed that "the quote was inappropriate." Way to give in to idiocy. In an ironic twist, the one person so far whose quotes indicate they are on the sane side of the looking glass was Mr. LeBron James, who summarized the issue with "to...say that he was referencing guns is totally ridiculous." Kudos LeBron; ridiculous about captures it.

I suppose the rest of us just didn't get the memo about acceptable language in the fallout (wait, I'm sorry, is that too violent a metaphor given the images of nuclear bombs?) of the Arenas/Crittenton episode. But after some scouring with my trusted servant Google, I finally came across the new set of rules, which I'll now share with you in a ~~bulleted~~ list.

Appropriate Language:

The 2-guard position in the NBA will heretofore be known as the Attempt Guard.
The act of directing the ball towards the hoop will be known as a throw, or a squirt (thank you ESPN.com commenter memfisblues).
NBA Legend Pete Maravich will now be known as Passin' Pete.
Wilt Cham***lain will be permanently removed from the Hall of Fame.
Any reference to and information about Tom Cham***s will be stricken from NBA history.
Effective immediately, Andrei Kirilenko, and any player wearing uniform number 9, 22, 38, or 45 is permanently banned from the NBA.
During All-Star weekend, the Happy-Trip-Down-Memory-Lane Competition will replace this contest.
Any high-scoring duel will be referred to as a whole-lotta-points-scored-out.
Foot Locker and AT&T will be fined $1,000,000 any time they reference past sponsorships in All-Star weekend events, and everyone from Larry Bird to Dirk Nowitzki will return their trophies and prize monies immediately.

In the NFL:

A QB that is not lined up under center will be said to be in the really-far-back formation.
Any quick-hitting offense will be known as the run-and-favre.

The pole that is firmly lodged up the collective nether regions of U.S. media thanks you for your adherence in this matter.

The Perfect Radio Call

2010-01-15T01:51:00.003-05:00

Tonight, the Utah Jazz hosted the Cleveland Cavaliers on TNT, so I was relegated to catching the game on League Pass Audio, which I did for exactly the last 10 seconds of play. Luckily, I was treated to one of the best play calls I've ever heard.

I am always one to give credit where it's due, so tonight I have to give it up to the Utah Jazz's radio network KFAN:

"Price dribbles, out of control, gives it to Gaines, at the horn...he hit it!!! A threee!!! Sundiata Gaines!!! Welcome to the NBA!!!"

This came, believe it or not, after the announcer said, coming out of the timeout, that he had a feeling something great was about to happen. Props alone on your extra-sensory perception. But the play call was spot on, and the joy and emotion of the moment couldn't have been captured any better. He toed the line between excited and hysterical, but never crossed it. Kudos.

NBA League Pass 2009: Full of Fart

2009-12-09T22:57:00.002-05:00

OK, after a fairly pleasant experience in my first year using NBA League Pass Broadband last year, this year has been anything but. Generally speaking, I've been able to see the games I've wanted to see, but if the first month is any indication of how the rest of the year is going to go, then NBA's engineers better get their ass in gear before I file a complaint with my bank to get my money back.

First off, a few weeks ago, the feed to an Orlando Magic game completely went blank. It showed the first couple minutes of the game, then just hung. I contacted support, and they said they were "aware of the problem with the feed" and were working on fixing it. I was then told to "keep checking", as if anyone would want to keep clicking play and watching the same swirling graphics for a minute before deciding that nothing is going to happen. That was the first time I had a problem with a feed, so I wrote it off as a product of human misgivings.

However, after a few days passed, I noticed that I wasn't seeing the live-game DVR feature that LPBB was touting so heavily. Again, I contacted support, and was told by a male responder to install the latest version of Flash (which I already had) and Octoshape (which I've never heard of). I did both, and noticed absolutely no change; still the same non-DVR controls from last year. I recontacted support, which began an extended, hilarious and frustrating exchange with a delightfully clueless creature by the name of Debbie. This unhelpful blonde (I can only assume) said things like "if" the live game DVR is available (putting my subscription in immediate threat of cancellation) and "make sure you put the mouse over the window". I don't know where this Debbie came from, and why she took over the contact position in my support ticket, but she seems better served working at the local 7-11. This obvious line of "assume consumer stupidity first" customer service has no place in any company.

Anyways, I eventually investigated the issue myself; I had been accessing LPBB on my laptop -- a 64-bit Vista system, and, by chance, one day decided to launch it on my 32-bit Windows XP desktop computer. Almost immediately, I noticed something I'd only seen in commercials: the much ballyhooed live-game DVR controls. Well well well. So apparently, it is a system issue, some combination of 32- versus 64-bit system, or XP versus Vista. Thank you Debbie and the rest of the crack support staff at NBA LPBB for completely overlooking any potential system incompatibility issues and going straight for the "you must not have done something" line. I forwarded this new discovery to the LPBB complaint ticket; I'm still awaiting a response, hopefully from someone, anyone a bit more knowledgeable.

All of the DVR issues pale in comparison to my struggles tonight however. All the feeds are crossed and screwed up. Upon noticing that the Cavaliers were taking a beating at the hands of the world-beater Houston Rockets (lest my tongue plant any further into my cheek), I immediately jumped to watch the game, only to be confused by the sight of the Minnesota Timberwolves logo splashed all over the game court. Instead of the Cavs/Rockets game, I was presented with the final stages of the Hornets/Wolves game, which actually turned out to be rather exciting, won by a CP3 layup with 1 second left. Afterwards, I attempted to access the Lakers/Jazz game, one that I had circled on my calendar since the week began. Again, to my chagrin, I was presented with a totally different game, the last minutes of a Spurs smack-down of the Kings. We just crossed over from human err to human carelessness.

At last count, I have yet to be able to access the Lakers/Jazz video (only the radio feeds, naturally) though I can now catch the replay of the Cavs game in archive.

How great; you add more features to your product, and let the basic functionality turn to crap. And it's only the second week into December. Hopefully, if anything, it gives them a chance to work out these kinks before we get into the later stages of the season where the games and matchups really begin to take on higher meaning. There's plenty of time for them to work these things out.

That is, assuming Debbie isn't the one doing the troubleshooting.

From A Busy Night of Game-Surfing

2009-12-09T16:23:00.006-05:00

* Shaq, burned on a pick-and-roll for the game winner in Memphis. In other news, a bright yellow orb rose from the horizon and lit up the sky around 6am this morning.

* That whistling sound you hear is Phoenix falling back to the pack, having gotten the JV-league part of their schedule out of the way. Clippers, Warriors, Wolves (2), Heat, Wizards, Sixers, Hornets, Raptors (2), Rockets, Pistons, Grizz, and...Celtics. Those were the teams the Suns beat in the season's first month. Not exactly the class of the league (with one obvious exception). The three loses? 20 point bashings by the Magic and Lakers, and a close one to the Hornets. I hope the desert population weren't getting their hopes too high. The Magic, Nuggets, Spurs, Blazers, Cavs, Lakers, and Celtics comprise 7 of the next 11 games. Tim-ber.

* Gerald Wallace is rediscovering his double-double machine ways. Which got me to thinking: we've seen triple-doubles, and there's been a handful of quadruple doubles in NBA history. But are there any players in the league that could post a quintuple-double? Double-figures in point, boards, assists, blocks, and steals? Has there ever been one of these nights? I don't have Elias on the payroll right now so I'll have to investigate at a later time. Anyways, my short list of possible players are as follows: Gerald Wallace (one of only 3 players to average 2+ blocks and 2+ steals in a season, along with Wilt and Hakeem), Josh Smith (ATL) and LeShowboat James. I think that's it. As a matter of fact, I think the dancing, celebrating bunny would have a realistic chance of doing it if he played the 4 full-time (giving him more opportunities nearer to the bucket to rack up blocks). I know it's a little you-been-smoking-something weird, but it was just something that occured to me.

* Nice little win for the Nets, though I know it comes at the expense of the city of Chicago sinking deeper into the our-team-is-headed-nowhere discussion. I kinda expect the Nets to go on a (little) run now that they're getting healthy; it's not a coincidence that their first win coincided with Courtney Lee's first start, and Keyon Dooling and ....'s first game. I been saying all along that they aren't this bad. But that stinker 2nd half they threw up in game #20 verses the Knicks really had me reconsidering that notion. Anyways, 2-1 in the Kiki era.

* The Magic now stand at 9-1 in the Jameer Nelson recovery era. If Jeff Van Gundy wrote a column, I'd be emailing updates to him after every game. If I was really bored I'd write a script to send the updates for me.

* Speaking of bad predictions, there was the writer the other day that owned up to be "shocked" at Vince Carter's playing well, and the Magic's hot start. He quoted himself as predicting that Carter didn't "have much left in the tank" and that the Magic would nosedive and rue the day they let Hedo walk. I swear, anyone this clueless should put a bullet into his NBA-writing career and begin covering curling. Seriously. You just admitted to not having watched a single Net game in the past 2 years. There is simly no other explanation for thinking Carter was done. Last night, during the Magic/Clippers game, one of the Clipper broadcasters made it his point to reiterate how he knew right off that Carter over Turkoglu is an upgrade, given all the things Vince does on the court. The Clippers broadcasters are incidentally -- ironically, given the bad basketball they're forced to watched -- among the top three or four teams in the league. Unquestionably. These are guys that actually watch the games (at a minimum they would've seen Hedo and Carter twice per year each).

* Speaking of writers that don't watch, I remember getting a reply from Vince Thomas of SLAM Magazine, alerting me that Vince Carter had missed 6 games this year. Now, it may be nitpicking a bit to point out that it was only 4, but it does make you wonder how much else these eyes and ears around the NBA pull out of thin air, when they muck up such basic math as: 1+1+1+1 = 6.

In other sports:

* Forget No Fun League, we're witnessing the birth of the National Facist League. This whole no-props edict by the NFL is 10 times more embarrassing than any damage they think Ocho-Cinco might do to the league's rep.

* Forgive me if I'm disinterested in the possible Curtis Granderson chatter that's been dominating the Yankee hot stove for 2 days. We just spent the better part of the 9 years trying to win with hitting, with varying degrees of failure. Then, we go out, get three starters, shore up the bullpen, and immediately return to the Canyon of Heroes. Unless Justin Morneau, Joe Mauer and Albert Puljols are being traded for a single-A prospect and 2 players to be named later, I'm not interested. Wake me when the news is about an Edwin Jackson-type coming to the Bronx.

Is That The New Commitment to Defense?

2009-12-02T10:03:00.005-05:00

It's funny how irony works. NBA.com posted an extended interview with Amare Stoudemire yesterday during the day, which included this exchange:

NBA.com: Given a fresh start on your career this season, did you come into training camp determined to improve any specific part of your game?
AS: Defense is what I'm focusing on this year. Really, really focusing on that aspect. Weak side. Just trying to put ball pressure on. Create some havoc out there. I can honestly say I've improved this year so far.
NBA.com: Does the same go for the Suns? You guys aren't thought of as lockdown defenders, you know.
AS: As a unit, I think we're playing solid defense out there. We might not be the best defensive team in the league, but I think we're good enough to create the havoc that we need.

Then, right on cue, the Suns put forth perhaps -- by far? -- their worst defensive effort of the season -- to the Knicks no less. Next on the schedule? Why, the Cleveland Cavaliers, that's who. Followed by trips to LA, Dallas and Denver, with hosting duties for Orlando and San Antonio sprinkled in. I admittedly have been waiting for the Suns to fall back to the pack, unconvinced of their top-o'-the-conference-records standing. I think the wait may soon be over.

But back to the Knicks game; I caught a fair number of plays as I watched in a club last night, and, boy, it sure looked like the same old (new) Suns defense to me. The post-Matrix, post-Raja defense that is (their defense in the Shawn Marion, Joe Johnson days was largely and wholly underrated, people concentrating more on points per game than defensive efficiency).

But back to the Knicks game (I seem to have a penchant for tangents today); I saw far too many New Yorkers waltzing into the lane for layups and dunks; every time, it seemed, that I watched for a few moments, I got to see another ole'! effort from a Sun defender. Including some no-effort weak-side opportunities from Mr. Stat. Hey, I don't doubt his off-season re-commitment to defense -- though I won't touch upon the fact that it's his strong-side defense that needs just as much work -- but we didn't really see much of it last night. You'd expect even one hard foul.

Maybe they were looking ahead to the Cavs game. I know my boy that's a big Phoenix-fan is going to be equally surly about the game and glad he skipped buying tickets, sparing himself the travesty in person.

* Damn you Eddy Curry. I mean, I'm sure you're pretty cool as a person and all; ok, so maybe I should say "damn you Eddy Curry's injuries". But with you sitting out the matchup versus Dwight Howard, and essentially doing the same versus Andrew Bynum, how am I supposed to twist the knife further into the poster who years ago told me Curry is better than both? I mean, having them both on this year's All-Star team (slowly becoming a foregone conclusion) is a consolation prize not nearly as enjoyable as a head-to-head thrashing. Damn you, or your injuries, or something. Now that I got that out the way, I'm obligated by my humanity to say "get well soon". So, do.

* The without-Jameer Magic record currently stands at 6-1. The Knicks, Warriors, and Clippers are on the near horizon. I'm just saying.

Jeff Van Gundy: Prognosticator Extraordinaire

2009-11-22T15:58:00.005-05:00

Early in Friday night's Boston Celtics-Orlando Magic contest, Jeff Van Gundy dropped this nugget on us:

"The Magic are gonna struggle to play above .500 while Jameer Nelson is out."

Come again? The only reason I didn't immediately make a twitter/blogspot/facebook post about it was because I was watching the game on rerun and didn't want to risk seeing the final score (I've got Boston fans as facebook friends and blog followers, and a Magic feed on my twitter). I can't imagine why none of his co-commentators didn't question this particular prediction, especially Mark Jackson, who usually loves to pounce on any of Jeff's comments he deems questionable.

.500 Jeff? Seriously? Are you confusing this team with the roster from last year? There is a major difference between the Magic's point guard rotation this year and the one they fielded last year: Jason Williams >> Tyronn Lue. Last year, when Jameer went down, the Magic made a move to pry Lue (tongue-in-cheek) from the Bucks to shore up the position. At the time, it seemed like a good move, and I actually thought he would help out; Lue was shooting a hefty 47% from 3-pt range, just the type of outside shooting Jameer brought to the team.

However, for Lue, it simply did...not...work...out. In his first 3 games playing meaningful minutes, he shot at paltry 5-16 -- 2 of 8 from downtown -- and the Magic continued trading wins and losses. It became apparent that both he and Anthony Johnson were best suited as backups, and the Magic went out, nabbed Rafer Alston, and the rest is NBA-Finals-appearance history.

Fast forward back to the present. By Friday night, we'd already gotten some small glimpses into what Jason Williams would look like given a heavier workload. He's played well -- almost surprisingly so -- and had actually played more minutes than Nelson in 2 or 3 games this year. He's been posting an NBA-best assist-to-turnover ratio, and his play had essentially relegated Anthony Johnson to 12th-man status.

This doesn't even touch upon the other upgrades the Magic have made in their roster this past offseason, with guys like Vince Carter who can share some of the playmaking duties. But it's fairly safe to say that a Jason Williams/Anthony Johnson rotation is significantly better than AJ/Tyronn Lue. It's starting to look even better than Rafer Alston/AJ combo that the Magic settled on for the rest of the 2008-09 campaign.

Perhaps I'm being a bit hard on ole Jeff, but it just seems rather silly to think this Magic team will struggle to hold their head above water in Jameer's absence, as important a player as he is. In any case, I can't help but keep a while-Nelson-is-out counter for the old ex-Knick coach turned announcer, so for those of us counting at home: that's 3 wins against 0 loses in the J-Will/AJ era.

With games against the Bucks, Warriors, Clippers, and a home-and-home versus the Knicks in the near horizon, that prediction is starting to look a bit shaky. Call me cynical.

Tidbits:

* Another Vince Carter visit, another quality game, another win:

Hey Toronto Raptor fans, they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting to receive different results. D'ya think maybe the booing and the taunting is, I dunno, not working?

* Celtics needed overtime and a buzzer beater to take down the Knicks today. Would it be safe to say they're going through a bit of a rough patch (4-4 after a 6-0 start)? From the sounds of it though (I can't watch, blackout rules apply), the Knicks are playing a little bit better ball lately. (When they're shooting at their own bucket that is).

* Those poor Nets. Four games from tying an ignominious record, and an upcoming 4-game road trip where none of the matchups look particularly favourable. The Kings have been playing better, so at best you can hope that they stub their toe (quite possible with a young team: see: Thunder, Oklahoma), or that Denver continues their recent swoon (any loss to the Clips at this point for them is a swoon). Or you can just hope that the return of Devin Harris will continue to pay dividends (remember, he didn't start against the Knicks). Either way, injuries and all aside, they're not looking very attractive to LeBron, Bosh or anyone in Brooklyn at the moment.

The Dumbest Coaching Decision...Ever?

2009-11-16T00:10:00.004-05:00

Bill Belichick may have just had the biggest brain fart in the history of coaching. I mean, ever. On any level, professional or otherwise. In fact, I'm removing the doubt: we just witnessed history.

Seriously, let's think about this for a second. I mean, really and truly, sit, and think about this clearly. You're up by 6 points. There's 2 minutes and 8 seconds left in the game. You're looking at a 4th and 2 on your own 28 yard line, not to mention you just got stuffed attempting to convert the same 2 yards on 3rd down. Lemme say it again: it's 4th and 2 on your own 28-yard line.

Is there really anything worth deliberating over? Do we really need to consider the fact that your offense, which was happily marching up and down the field all day long, is finally being manhandled by a now fired-up defense? That the opposing offense, after struggling to find its way for 58 minutes, has of late been moving the ball with a sense of purpose? Did I point out the two -- count 'em: 1, 2 -- two timeouts they took to make this decision?

Wasn't there anyone -- a player, an assistant, a cheerleader, the shoeshine boy, the gatorade-dispenser -- that had the mind and wherewithal to say "umm, yo coach, ummm...that's a really stupid idea."?

Everyone north of the Long Island Sound must be in gut-wrenching pain as we speak. Which, as a New Yorker, is quite a rosy image to mull over. (Did I mention the Yankees won the World Series? Oh, sorry, bad digression).

But seriously, has there ever been a more inexplicable decision made by a coach -- any coach, in, say, the history of sports? Ever? Perhaps I need a night's sleep -- or maybe a few days -- to think of a few examples. Or even one. At present, I'm coming up empty.

Someone help me here.

New York, or New York?

2009-09-28T02:31:00.005-04:00

As the Yankees sent Boston home winless for the weekend, put on their AL East champion gear and nerdy-looking eye-goggles, and sprayed champagne all over each other, their fans turned to the internet to offer hearty congrats to the team and one another. I found Yankee fans cropping up from previously-unknown corners of my Facebook friends list, and at one point it got me to thinking about just how I and many of us ever became Yankee fans in the first place. As opposed to, say, the nearly-unrelenting suffering that is the existence of the fans from the 'other' team over in Queens. It makes you wonder: when two teams reside in a city this big and fight for the hearts of millions of followers, how do people ever come to back one team over the other? You might think it's as simple as which team is winning, or which is closer to where you live, but for many of us in this city, it's not quite that simple.

(We are, of course, ignoring the double-agents who claim to support both teams, those folk that say they "just want to see NY win" and other similar cardinal sins of sport. Just last week, I and many of my Facebook friends were horrified to see a high school friend claim, and defend, her allegiance to both the NY Football Giants and the Dallas Cowboys. There should be laws against this level of waffling.)

Long ago, I developed a little theory as to how many NY baseball fans came to choose between the Bronx and Queens. It came to me in a frightening self-realization: had I been born a few years earlier, I would in fact be a Met fan. I am an early-70s baby, so naturally, by the time I was old enough to understand the use of the potty, the Yankees were smack dab in the middle of the Steinbrenner Renaissance, and the Miracle Mets magic had turned into dust, their team of Cinderellas into a field of rotten pumpkins. The Yankees stayed relevant as I moved into middle school, at which point I'd settled on all the teams -- Yankees, Islanders, Knicks, and 49ers -- that I'd call "mine" for the remainder of my days. Meanwhile, the Mets organization was in a mess, and the basement was where they received their mail for years. But was it all about wins and losses for me? As I said before, not quite.

My dad is, in fact, a Met fan. To this day I am tickled pink by a picture I have of myself at 2 years old proudly wearing a Mets cap. Which father wouldn't want is only son to root for his team right along with him? Sadly -- for him I mean -- I grew up a pretty independent-minded kid, and I remember being downright confused as to why my dad would root for such a pathetic band of losers. But he was still dad, still able to wield some influence over me. The Knicks weren't all that much better at the time -- I was definitely too young to experience the championship years -- yet I grew to offer my allegiance to them long before Bernard King came to town.

But dad was a product of the 60s in a sense; when he immigrated to New York, the Mets were new and fresh, the lovable losers, the polar opposite to the corporate, rigid, and, yea, I'll say it, mostly Caucasian-American Yanks. The 60s was the time of resistance, rebellion, revolution; I can completely see how anyone of colour in New York would take to the new Mets over "The Man" that played in the Bronx, even if said man was winning -- and winning, and winning. Back then, the wins didn't much matter; neither did the team's location (dad lived in the Bronx at the time). You take that foundation, and compound that with the Yankees' well running dry mere months after the Civil Rights Act passed, then add the sprinkling of pixie dust that fell on the Mets a few years later, and it becomes more or less a given than a child (or immigrant) of the 60s would call the Metropolitans "their" team. But even without the Miracle, I think the Mets picked up legions of fans simply by being not-the-Yankees. Push my birth certificate a few more years into the past, and I can't see how I wouldn't have been equally swept up in the fresh new lovable team, regardless if they were winning or not.

By time Steinbrenner snapped up the Yanks, and did everything within his power to make them relevant again, us now-30-somethings were just starting to become aware of the world. But, something else happened around that time, something just as important as wins and losses, if not more so. The Yankees become less corporate, less "The Man"; became more New York, became -- colour. A guy by the name of Reggie rolled into town, and, perhaps single-handedly, made the Yankees palatable to every brother and sister living in the Blaxploitation era. I don't know if Mr. October was the first, but it's a foregone conclusion that he was the biggest and brightest. So, all at once, you had a team that was winning, led by a star that looked like you with an afro just as big as yours.

As it turns out, the 1980s became a decade of disappointment for me as a baseball fan, but little did I know that suffering through all those 15-14 debacles, those heavy-hitting and light-pitching teams of the Dave Winfield years, would be paid back in full once I became an adult. That, instead of one fleeting flash of fun before the coke era started to take effect, I would get a whole decade and a half -- and counting -- of memories. And all because I was born at just the right point in time.

I've got younger friends now, late 70s and early 80s babies, who grew up just in time for the Mets mid-80s resurgence, who reveled in the 'cool' of Strawberry, the Doc, and others, who celebrated the miracle of Buckner, and who now find themselves wondering just who it was that put an evil hex on their beloved team. (And if they're not wondering, 19 disabled-list players tells me they should.)

If only they were a bit older.

Canó Comes Clutch

2009-09-23T22:40:00.005-04:00

* Well, it only took a scant 3 days since my last posting on Robbie Canó's struggles with runners in scoring position for him to deliver one of the biggest clutch hits in recent weeks, a 2-out, 2-run single to break a scoreless tie verses the rival Los Angeles Anaheim Angels of Disneyland Park Incorporated, Ltd. (I mean, if you're gonna stretch your name to ridiculous lengths, why not go all the way). Soon after, his good buddy Melky Cabrera followed with an RBI single that would provide all the runs the Yanks would get this day, and, barely, all the Yanks would need to post a necessary win. Hopefully this big hit gets Robbie off the "shnide", and we're off to see bigger and better things. Don't ya know!

* For once, Yankees radio voice John Sterling beat a point repeatedly, ridiculously into the ground, and I couldn't blame him one bit. Naturally, all of Yankeeland held our breath while watching Ian Kennedy labour thru the 8th inning, his first work in the majors in over a year. To call the move risky or brave by Girardi is definitely an understatement. But, ya know what? It's hard to fault it, even if it hadn't had worked out. And yes, I'm aware that the win probably makes us look at the move with rose-coloured glasses on. But hey, part of managing is going with your gut, and making unpopular decisions. I certainly was rolling my eyes at the thought of Brian Bruney coming into the 8th inning; for all the trust Girardi seems to have in him, Bruney certainly hasn't reciprocated it. Whether it's mental or mechanical, he seems to be having mounds of trouble placing the ball where it's supposed to go, either pitching far out of the strike zone, or too good within it, with somewhat alarming regularity. If Bruney goes out there and gives an identical performance to Kennedy (2 walks and a hit batter, but no runs allowed), you almost certainly don't feel nearly as good about it. Quite a difference when the guy getting thru by the skin of his teeth has failed numerous times in the past, as opposed to a youngster coming back from surgery. In any case, I feel compelled to give credit where it's due, so kudos to Giradi for showing some serious, serious cajones with that decision.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcast to switch sports for a moment:

* Is it safe for 49er fans to come out of hiding? 2-0, two pretty convincing wins -- particularly defensively -- against division foes? Is Mike Singletary on the road to returning this once world-beating franchise to an air of respectability and beyond? Am I getting ahead of myself after only 2 victories?

We can be pretty certain of the answer to at least one of those questions. But it's nice to have something positive in 49er land to talk about. That Frank Gore guy is preeeetty good.

* Just copped 2 tickets to the October 30th Futurely-Brooklyn Nets game verses Vince Carter and his slightly-new-look Orlando Magic. Hey, I did say I would make it a point to be in the house for his return visit, and -- unlike roughly 95% of people I come across -- I am a man of my word. Looking forward to it, especially seeing as how: (1) I can't think of a single Jersey Net that has much chance of stopping Carter, save for my boy Courtney Lee, who nevertheless has a bit of a height disadvantage, and (2) it will be the first game of Rashard Lewis' suspension, so ostensibly, there will be more responsibility for Carter in the Magic offense for this game and thru the first 2 weeks of the season. In short, he may be scorching the nets that night. It should be quite a "home"-coming.

Curious About Canó

2009-09-20T18:25:00.003-04:00

Haven't blogged much at all about the Yanks this year, but there's a curious fact that has spurned me to change that. It's been a good year up till this point, especially their long run of approximately .750 ball this summer. Among a slew of players putting up good years both behind the plate and in the field has been Robinson Canó, hitting a robust .323 as of yesterday with the best power numbers and slugging percentages of his career. However, when you glance over to the situational statistics, you find something very, very alarming: he is hitting very, very poorly with runners on base, to the tune of .259 with runners on base, and .211 with runners in scoring position.

The more you look at those situational stats, the worse they get: .231 with the bases loaded, a situation that usually favours hitters, in which they almost invariably put up good numbers. The worst of all those stats for Robbie this year is undoubtedly that of a man of third base with less than two outs: .160 average with a .172 on-base percentage. By contrast, when the bases are empty, Robbie has been scorching: .378 batting average. Leading off an inning? .424, with a .771 slugging percentage.

The strange thing about all these numbers is that they are a complete anomaly when compared to the rest of his career; last year, for starters, he was .423 with a runner on third base. He has certainly performed in run-scoring situations throughout his career; naturally, I have no answers as to why he's put up such poor numbers in 2009. Of course, it's not to say he's not performed at all in pressure situations; I can readily recall two walk-off hits from Robbie: a laser-shot 3-run homer into the right-field seats, and I was in the house to see his game-winning double into right-center a few weeks ago. So, between that and his career numbers, I'm not suggesting that Robbie's incapable of, or has a career of not, producing with men on base.

But I definitely have to be a bit concerned about the 2009 version of Canó, considering how well he's hitting to start rallies than he is when he needs to keep them going.

Was It An Excuse To Let Off Some Man-Hatred?

2009-08-28T11:10:00.010-04:00

Been a while since I've blogged; life's gotten a bit busy, though naturally I haven't shut sports out. However, another couple of bad articles have spurned me back into blog-action. They come from the likes of a certain Yahoo! Sports blogger whose so maligned that the comments section of his posts are frequently littered with calls for his head and amazement at his employ. When I say frequent, I do mean frequent.

This first one was the one that truly made me shake my head, both for the rampant omissions and the focus on Isiah's Knicks. For the latter, look, we all know how shoddy the Isiah Thomas reign in New York was. But was it me or did the blogger, both in text and image, imply that Thomas signed Eddy Curry as a free agent? Does my memory deceive me, or did he not come to New York via a sign-and-trade? I mean, really, it was bad enough that he included contract extensions in the list; a sign and trade is really stretching the definition of the list past the breaking point.

But that's a small, probably pedantic, quibble. Any way you shake it, Curry hasn't exactly worked out for the best.

The bigger problem is some of the omissions; I will concentrate on one in particular, as it relates to the Isiah Thomas-pile-on the article ended with. Naturally these days, most people malign Thomas as the destroyer of all things Knickerbocker, as if the franchise had been rolling along like a well-oiled machine before he arrived. Those of us that know how to spell ginkoba know nothing is further from the truth; their mismanagement started long before he rolled up his sleeves in MSG.

As you scroll back to #10 on that list, you'll see Rashard Lewis' Magic contract being included, simply because the Magic overpaid for his services. Granted, that part in hardly debatable, but if Lewis makes the list by said qualification, how does the Allan Houston mega-max-contract not make the list? Are you serious? Let's turn our minds back to 2001 and look forward from there to remind ourselves how awful this contract was.

First of all, the Knicks -- much like the Magic with Lewis -- severely outbid themselves. I've seen people debate the actual numbers -- some say $30 million, some say mitigating factors place the number much smaller -- but I've yet to see anyone say the Knicks gave Houston his fair market value. As a result, the Knicks ended up severely handcuffing themselves, eliminating the ability to sign any more top talent, and setting themselves up for years of salary cap and luxury tax hell. I mean, do we need to recall that the 2005 collective bargaining agreement has a provision that is very commonly called the Allan-Houston-exception? How bad does a contract have to be that it gets a rule, designed to undo some of its damage, named after it? How does such a contract not end up as one of the top-10 in the decade? That 2005 CBA elevated the status of that contract from poor to legendary.

Two years after the Rashard Lewis signing, the Magic have still retained the financial flexibility to sign players like Mikael Pietrus, Matt Barnes, and Brandon Bass, and ummm oh yea they made the NBA finals. I know the latter happened so long ago it's hard to remember, but do try. It goes without saying: Rashard had more than a bit of a hand in getting the Magic to the big show this year.

In the years after the Houston signing, the Knicks posted records of 30-52, 37-45, 39-43, and 33-49. By that time, Houston was succumbing to a host of knee injuries, and would never be the same player again.

However, what much of a player was he even at the signing? Everyone and everyone knew right then and there that this was a humongous price for a dictionary-definition-1-way-player. Houston was a shooter, and nothing more. Never known for his defense, an ability to break down players off the dribble, nothing. Shooting he did, and did with the best. But that alone shouldn't get you an over-bloated max contract. You love watching one-way players shoot the ball, but they exactly pan out to have a long, illustrious NBA career.

I'll never, ever, forget the day when I heard the news of the Houston signing. I was at my desk at work, and my jaw dropped. "$100 million?" Then, when I heard Allan declare, at the press conference, that he was "the best player at my position" in qualifying the big check, I pushed back from my desk, doubled over with laughter, and nearly fell out of the chair. The best shooting guard in the league? I started scanning the league in my mind. Isn't Kobe Bryant a shooting guard? Isn't Allen Iverson a SG? Ray Allen? Best SG? He's not even the best 2-guard named Allen!!! (nitpick at the slightly-different spellings if you will; but you get the point).

I say all this to say, we knew it was a bad contract at the time, and then time certainly bared that out to be rock-solid truth. Foresight and hindsight rarely agree with such accuracy. There is no conceivable way that the $100 million contract doesn't make a list of worst signings of the 2000s. There is certainly no way Lewis' contract ranks higher. The Magic have already made the finals, are still wheeling and dealing, and Lewis, a borderline All-Star annually (he should've made the 2009 team, certainly over Mo Whinings), though limited, has many more facets to his game than Houston ever did.

Sorry Dwyer; as the folks say nowadays, your list was an epic fail.

* A small note about another top-10 column: while the placement of #3 and #1 (Kwame Brown and Darko Milicic) is more than debatable -- I certainly would've swapped the two, based on the simple fact that I think Darko would abuse Brown in a game of 1-on-1, the entry in between them is, at best, quite curious:

2. Entire 2000 NBA draft
You can't pick a single bust-worthy standout. Sure, Stromile Swift(notes) (taken second overall) has disappointed greatly, but what were the Grizzlies' options? Darius Miles(notes)? Marcus Fizer? Chris Mihm(notes)? DerMarr Johnson(notes)? Do you want me to go on? Or do you want me to just mention Jerome Moiso's name and move on with it? It nearly bears mentioning that any time I see a comment wondering how it was, exactly, that a dope like me got this job, I think back to this draft. And I think, "I live-blogged the 2000 NBA draft. I've paid my dues, dammit."

Now, I actually took him at his word -- I certainly can't recall draft results 10 years past without doing a little search -- until a poster pointed out some of the other names in that years' draft: Kenyon Martin, Mike Miller, Jamal Crawford, Hedo Turkoglu, Desmond Mason, Jamaal Magloire, Quentin Richardson, Morris Peterson, Eddie House, Michael Redd. Four finals appearances, a couple Team USA selections, several All-Star selections, Sixth-Man Awards, Most Improved Accolades, and oodles of playoff team experience.

Did he mean to say the first round was a bust? Picks 2 thru 7? 9 thru 15? How can he call the entire draft a bust? Did he moreso mean to imply that teams picked stupidly that year? Perhaps he did suffer while blogging the draft, but maybe we all should take the blame for overlooking Michael Redd for 42 selections as much as all the teams did.

I won't go overboard on the criticism to call this post a fail; but I'll simply say that calling the entire 2000 draft a "bust" is rather, umm, overreaching.

Remembering A Great Night, One Year Ago

2009-07-13T08:46:00.006-04:00

As the MLB gets set to hold another homerun derby competition later on tonight, I couldn't help but think back to a terrific night exactly one year ago at Yankee Stadium. That was the night Josh Hamilton put on a show for the ages. For those who don't know, Major League Baseball's All-Star Festivities were held in New York last year, and Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers stole the show in the home run derby with a record 28 homeruns in the first round.

The moment that the MLB announced that the 2008 All-Star Weekend would be held at Yankee Stadium, in a bid to honour its final season in existence, my mind became immediately transfixed on the home run derby. I've become increasing excited by the event in the past few years -- from Sosa in 2000 and Giambi in 2002, to the exploits of Bobby Abreu in 2005, Ryan Howard in 2006 and the dreaded Vlad in 2007 -- much more so than the actual all-star game, which admittedly I find a bit underwhelming. I scoured sites like StubHub.com for tickets, and copped a pair for roughly $500. Though I'm usually fairly frugal with my purchases, it didn't take much to realize the once-in-a-lifetime-ness of this particular event. So I plonked down the money, and afterward set out to find a friend that could be enticed into witnessing a small piece of sports history. Naturally, none of my punk friends bit, and I was reduced to trying to scalp the extra ticket outside the stadium; once that failed, I was furthered reduced to offering the ticket por gratis to the one friend nearest to the stadium I could call upon on a moment's notice. After all that running about, I finally was able to settle into my 'seat' in the left-field bleachers.

The stadium had all the usual buzz of a big game, but after a few underwhelming performances, the 50,000+ crowd became a bit antsy, somewhat bored and slightly annoyed. What were once encouraging cheers as a player's out-total mounted became Bronx jeers at announcer Michael Kay's imploring for continued support. By time the 7th competitor completed his round, you could feel the stadium shift its focus to, well, anywhere but the field. I personally tried to convince myself that, regardless of the outcome, I was still here, at my first home run derby, at the last all-star weekend that would ever take place in the current Yankee stadium. I just tried to enjoy it for the uniqueness of the event, even though the actual competition was turning out to be a bore. But just when all hope for excitement seemed lost, up to the plate strode Josh Hamilton.

I was only paying token attention when the ball left the pitcher's hand: *crack*...*whoosh*. What? Well, hello. Hamilton's first offering flew far and deep towards the back of the right-field bleachers. "Uh oh, what have we here?" was my immediate thought. I sat up in my seat, and directed full attention back towards home plate, along with most of the crowd. At this point, we were all dying for something to get excited about, and that one swing gave us hope. A couple of swings later, *crack!* another ball went screeching towards right-field, and ended up hitting the back wall of the bleachers. "Are you kidding me?" In all my years watching games at Yankee stadium, I recall very few balls that even reached the bleachers, let alone approach the back wall. "It hit the wall?!?" "Ohhhh!" went the crowd, and from that point on, he had us in the palms of his batting gloves. After a couple of in-game-length shots, interspersed with a couple of outs, Hamilton let loose with another tape measure shot. "Ohhhh!" And then another deep into the right-field bleachers. And then one a couple dozen rows up in the upper deck.

At this point, Josh was clearly the highlight of the previously-saccharin first round. Little did we know, he wasn't even warmed up. Another shot deep into right-center, another couple outs, and a shot into the short right-field porch followed. He seemed to be slowing a bit, until *whap!* wayyyy up into the upper deck. At that point, his 12th homer versus 6 outs eclipsed anything that had happened with the first seven batters. I no longer needed to convince myself that my money was well spent. I started thinking, if I were at home or in a bar watching this on TV, I'd be kicking myself for not coming. Literally, kicking.

As great as Josh had been to this point, he only got better. He launched blast after blast, and the entire crowd simply couldn't believe what we were seeing. We were all looking around, laughing, and making comments. I saw one blast heading towards the alley between the bleachers and the main seats, and started hoping it would leave the stadium altogether; an expertly-placed shot definitely would. He'd already hit the back wall; the extra-stadium jack had to be coming. Whap! Crack! Ohhhhh! Next thing you new, he was up into the 20s, and it started to seem like he could stay there all night long. We started to chant: "Ha-mil-ton! Ha-mil-ton!" right before breaking chorus to admire another deep upper-deck shot in awe.

When he finally cooled off, you couldn't believe the numbers even after seeing every blast fly out: 28 home runs. Huh? What was it, 3, 4 guys that didn't crack 4? Two that threw up a doughnut? Amazing. When the final round arrived, everyone was hoping, pulling for Hamilton to win, just so we'd get to celebrate him for making our night. The trophy wasn't meant to be, but no one seemed to care. Justin Morneau couldn't help alluding to Josh's first-round onslaught in his acceptance speech. Simply amazing.

Hamilton's first round was so much more than the numbers. He didn't just blast a couple-dozen bleacher and upper-deck shots. He didn't just break Abreu's first-round record, or perform as so many others have done in countless batting practices. He literally saved a night by his lonesome self. He turned an event that was beginning to lose its excitement, its energy, into a breathless display. 50,000 people were beginning to tune out the competition, and with one swing, he flipped a switch and drew us back in. 27 more swings later, we didn't know what to do with ourselves. They say timing is everything, and that is what made Hamilton's display so special, so energizing. Everyone came to the stadium hoping to see something fun and enjoyable, and for a while it looked like all we were going to get was boring. At the very moment all hope seemed lost, we saw something amazing and incredible. I won't forget that moment when the shot hit the right-field back wall. Amazing!

Thanks Josh. You made it money well spent.

From the team I love to cheer to the team I love to watch.

2009-06-28T07:08:00.005-04:00

So, for the second time in his career, Vinsanity is on the move. My first reaction was "damn, no more reason for me to make that 1.5 hour trek to New Jersey!" My second reaction was "wow, I'll never hear DID YOU SEE...VEEEE CEEEEEEEE" ever again.

Naturally, I understand the whys of this trade; that's not what I was reacting to. Sports, like music or any other entertainment, should have some level of emotion attached (most people take said emotion to ridiculous heights, but that's another post...). For those of us who're actually in control of our emotions, VC is simply one of the best players to watch, especially when he's having one of "those" nights. Even on off nights, when he's merely human, he manages to do two or three things that make the game worth the price of admission. I just happened to take a woman who'd never been to an NBA game to the contest verses Atlanta this past January where Vince sank a 35-foot OT-game winning shot. You could spend all day on YouTube watching his highlights (trust me, I've tried).

But this is not a career eulogy. The guy's still only 32, and can still ball with the best. This is rather merely the end of an era for a team I like to root for simply because of their ancient Long Island connections and their continued NY-area ties. The end of having my pick of 41 games over 6+ months to see the most amazing finisher the game has ever seen. (Yea, that's right, I said it). I mean, I'll still be the begrudging Knick fan not-so-silently rooting for the Nets; I'll still count Devin Harris as one of my favourite players; and the Nets now have another good young talent to pair with him in Courtney Lee for whom I'll be rooting.

Yet, the 2008-2009 Magic were a team I couldn't get enough of on NBA League Pass. Now they get the estimable Vince Carter. Every day, twice on Sundays. (ok, I don't know what that means either; it just fell off my fingers). In a way, with that annoying local-market restriction robbing me of an opportunity to watch Knick AND Net games on League Pass, perhaps I'm gaining something here. Wow, actually I am! (Sorry, it literally just occurred to me as I was typing this).

So, from the team I like rooting for, to the team I can't get enough of watching, goes one of the best and most exciting players of this generation. Vince Carter goes to a team bulging with talent, a team right at the top of the conference, for the first time since -- ever. This should be interesting, and most certainly will be fun to watch.

In any case, thanks Vince, for all the work you put in for your four-plus years in Jersey. I initially told myself I had much less reason to make the long trek to the whatever-they-call-it-now Arena for the Nets, but I realize now that's a lie. I'm gonna check the schedule, and make it a point to be in the house, if it's at all possible, to be part of that standing ovation you're guaranteed to get when you make that first trip to Jersey wearing Orlando blue. Good luck VC. Do your hometown Orlando proud. And don't forget to drop a game winner or two more on the Raptors for old-time's sake.

The Most Overquoted Quote in the NBA Finals

2009-06-12T11:27:00.007-04:00

Once again, sports writers have successfully gotten on my nerves. The next sports analyst to attach "master of panic" to a Stan Van Gundy coaching decision they disagree with deserves to get fired, slapped, and thrown to the wolves. Can you people come up with something, you know, original? Or, God forbid, accurate? Is every poor coaching the decision the result of panic now? Did you panic when you mistakenly picked Orlando to win the title? Yes, Jason Witless, I'm talking to you.

Let's get to the bottom of what actually can be considered a fault of Stan Van Gundy's coaching style. It comes down to one word: trust. He trusts numbers more than he does anything else; and certain players, with poor numbers, mmm not so much.

I can think back some years to when the Miami Heat were vying for a trip to the Eastern Conference finals, with Van Gundy at the helm and a rookie Dwyane Wade as the team's budding superstar. Yes, for all you A.D.D. sports fans and writers, it may surprise you to know that the Heat actually made the playoffs before Shaq arrived in South Beach. This was way back in 2004, and the Heat were in a do-or-die game verses the Indiana Pacers. For those of you who don't remember, here's a brief recap: 0-6 shooting, 0-4 from 3pt range, including a missed potential game-tying 3 at the buzzer. The culprit? One Rafer Alston. Shocked are you? Pick your bottom lip off the floor, thanks.

Now, is it panic that SVG pulls Rafer after a 1-5 shooting 3rd quarter last night? Or is it once bitten twice shy? Since when does mistrust get miscategorized as panic? Since when is it a panic move to trust a guy who, when healthy, has never let you down, over a guy who has as many poor games this postseason as good ones, whose thrown up air for you repeatedly in the past?

Moreover, on said issue of trust, I recall that 2004 game fairly well, because at the time I couldn't understand why SVG didn't have Dwyane Wade, his best player, on the court for the final play. We knew that Stan was playing the percentages, and that Wade at that time was a very poor and low volume 3-pt shooter, but I figured -- and still believe -- that you have to give the young kid a chance to become a star. Much like the Lakers put the ball Kobe's hands in the early years only to have him throw up airballs, everyone needs a chance to fail so that they learn how to succeed. Basic life stuff. But hey, can you blame a guy for doing whatever he can to give his team what he thinks is the best shot to win, in this era where coaches are on the shortest of leashes?

It's not panic; SVG simply goes with who he trusts, for better or for worse. Anybody who watched the Magic between November and February knows how much trust Jameer has built up with his coach. And anybody who truly follows the NBA knows from where the coach's shaky trust in Skip to my Lou stems. But what should I expect. These are the same people that can't figure out simple concepts like "home" and "away" to mitigate their confusion over Rafer's supposedly-inconsistent shooting from game to game in the past two Magic series. (Here's a hint folks: look out for a pretty little '@' symbol.)

Mind you, I too was sitting there wondering why SVG had Rafer on the bench in the final quarter (granted, I had missed the 3rd quarter and didn't watch it until later on replay), so I don't actually agree with said decision. But disagreeing with a decision over ideology and history is completely different than stooping to say someone is panicking.

Mr. Witless wants SVG to stop coaching with his heart and his hunches. If he actually had any sense of SVG's coaching history, he might begin to grasp that this may be exactly what SVG is doing. Riding a player who hasn't seen regular action since February is quite a risky decision, no doubt. But riding a Rafer who is well within rhythm hasn't exactly paid dividends for SVG in the past either.

But then, you wouldn't expect someone who doesn't cover the NBA specifically to remember such historical nuances. You know what they say: jack of all trades, master of none.

Speaking of the Big Quote-machine...

There was a rather scathing -- and, sadly, spot on true -- article about the Big Former Superman over on Yahoo! Sports a few days ago. Among other things, it accused Shaq of being immature, and insecure with his legacy as he enters the twilight of his career. Anyone whose watched Shaq over the past 2 season with an objective eye can atest to basically every word in the article. Did Michael Jordan ever take shots at Vince Carter, Kobe Bryant, and all the other suspected heirs to his throne? We all know Jordan is a lot of things, but insecure certainly ain't one of them. Is Scottie Pippen twittering about how Lamar Odom is stealing his game and doing everything that he "invented"?

In any case, apparently word of said article got back to Mr. Shaqtus, who naturally couldn't resist pulling out his crackberry and firing off a scathing retort:

"O my yahoo sports wrote a bad article abt me , I'm gonna cry , yea rt, wanna kno the real its comn frm my shaqberry I'm da reporter now"

Like, umm, ok. Shaq, are you serious? Seriously, are you serious here? This is your reply to someone calling you immature? Matter of fact, why are you replying at all? Haven't we all heard about the biggest sports stars -- the Alex Rodriguez's of the world -- making it a point to not read the newspapers? Much less reply to them? I mean, Shaq, Yahoo! Sports? Did you not see the quote from the most-revered of statesmen, the one Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, telling the world that he sometimes "wonders about [your] maturity"?

Shaq, you're too big and too respected a figure to be shattering it all like this in your waning years. Don't go out like this big man. You did your thing, and have left (and are still leaving) your legacy for all to see. No one's trying to steal your shine or your past; it stands on its own. You did your thing, now others are doing theirs. End of story.

Cause if you really aren't immature, you certainly have a funny way of showing it -- again, and again, and again again.

What in the France is going on here?

I know Americans aren't the best when it comes to geography, but I'm getting a bit annoyed at seeing repeated references to Mickael Pietrus' being "born in France." Umm, excuse me, is Guadeloupe too difficult a word to type? Does anyone tell us that Tim Duncan was born in the United States? Do hurricanes hit England? Did Natalie Holloway disappear in the Netherlands? Can one of our little islands get some love?

Hail up Guadeloupe, birthplace of the Orlando Magic's Mickael Pietrus. I mean, it's only the place where he grew up, was educated, and learned to play basketball well enough to go straight to a European Junior League at 15 years of age. Silly little specifics that those might be.

The Long Lost, The Unstoppable, The Sky Hook

2009-06-11T07:57:00.005-04:00

So I just got thru watching an ESPN Segment on Kareem's Unstoppable Sky Hook; and had a few thoughts. First off, naturally, no discussion of the NBA's yesterday would be complete without a few jabs at "today's players"; and at least a good minute or more of this segment was dedicated to multiple people wondering why no one today utilizes the "most unstoppable shot" in NBA history.

But let's step back for a second: since we're dumping on today's players, what happened to yesterday's players? Who else in Kareem's day was utilizing the hook shot? Did the celebrated Moses Malone or the somewhat over-celebrated Bill Walton use said shot? How about Wilt the Stilt or Bill Russell? I mean, the first player to unveil the hook was undoubtedly George Mikan; why did it take 20 years of NBA history before another player picked up the shot? Did Wilt and Bill not think the shot was "sexy" or "cool" enough for them to use like "today's" players? Did Hakeem and Darryl Dawkins not care about working on their game like "today's" players? There had to be 5 or more clips of Kareem killing Robert Parish with the hook; why didn't they have any clips of Parish going back at Kareem with it?

It's been 40 years since Kareem took Mikan's hook to unforeseen heights; and in that video, they couldn't point out even one other player whose utilized it since 1970. But we have to hear about how players in 2009 are neglecting the shot only now. Give me a break.

What was actually comical about that part of the discussion was that, in conjunction with players and coaches lamenting the death of the hook, they showed maybe 4 or 5 straight clips of Yao Ming in the lower box employing the very shot they're telling us nobody uses. Priceless.

My second thought was on the unstoppable-ness of the hook. Now, granted, a one-on-one defender who has been backed down has pretty much no means of blocking a properly-executed hook. That's as much a given as being unable to strip the ball from a guy who has turned his back and put his body between his dribble and the defender. But how about not allowing yourself to get backed down so low? I saw one clip of Wilt Chamberlain simply letting Kareem back him down into the paint, offering absolutely no push back as he dribbled down. As Kareem turned to shoot the hook, Wilt took a step back, gathered himself, and attempted in vain to leap as high as he could to block the shot. Now, as wiry as he is, let's not underestimate how strong Kareem was; I saw Robert Parish in the 80s banging with Kareem hard trying to present some actual defensive resistance. But you can't tell me Kareem is strong enough to out-muscle Wilt Chamberlain; or rather, that Wilt wasn't big enough to offer more resistance to Kareem in the lower box.

So that's one way to limit the hook's effectiveness; body up with the guy and push him away from the paint, further away from the basket. It didn't seem like there was much of that going on until the mid-1970s or closer into the '80s of the NBA.

Another way is help defense. Again, let's give Kareem his due, he was a good if not excellent post passer, and at his height could easily pass out of a hard double team when it came. However, again, in some of the clips they showed, you wondered exactly what was a hard double-team back in the day. By my count, there were at least 4 or 5 clips where Kareem turned to shoot the hook right in front of a guard, lowering the ball to the guard's height, and where the guard did -- absolutely nothing. Another 2 clips showed a guard offering very token resistance; if a guard in today's NBA took such a weak swipe at the ball to 'help' out his teammate, he'd be getting an earful from his coach, and the commentators would be telling us how guys are not willing to give maximum effort on defense. But, apparently, this was a common occurrence in the days of lore. If you're going to stand and watch Kareem bring the ball to your height, turn right in your direction, and do nothing, at least bring a camera to the court. We could all be benefiting from the great-angled shots those guards were privy too. How selfish of them.

So, there are my few thoughts on the subject. We can celebrate Kareem's greatness, but stop dumping on today's players not using the hook if you're going to show a grand total of one player in 40 years utilize it. And try watching a Houston Rockets game or two (you know, early in the season, before Yao's inevitable season-ending injury) before making such a declaration. And let's talk about how little some defenses of early yesteryear did in properly defending such a shot. If we're gonna bust on players today, then let's also talk about players of yesterday who let guys 30 lbs lighter than them move wherever they please, guards who offer nothing in the form of good help defense, and the fact that no one in the heyday worked on their offense any more than players of today.

They Grow Up So Fast

2009-05-30T23:55:00.004-04:00

Let me start out by saying that, in all honesty, I never expected the Magic to get this far, this fast. If you look back thru this blog, it's obvious how much I followed this team thru the year, and how much I liked following their games and their progress. I copped tickets to games when the Magic came to town verses both the Knicks and the Nets, and watched them on NBA League Pass whenever I could. Simply stated, I truly love this collection of talent that GM Otis Smith has put together.

They started with a bit of luck, getting the ping-pong balls to bounce right in their favour 5 years ago. After grabbing the prize of that 2004 draft, they slowly but surely put together a complimentary, talented bunch of likable players. Every year they put more and more pieces to the puzzle, first with guys like Hedo, then to the no-longer-criticized Rashard Lewis signing (though they probably still did overpay him), to this year getting Pietrus, Courtney Lee, and others. Some time ago in this blog, I predicted that the Eastern Conference better take note, because with such a monster being surrounded by such quality talent, it was only a matter of time before the other teams would be rendered to also-ran status.

But, again honestly, never did I think it would happen this quickly. More than likely aided by the Kevin Garnett injury, the young Magic made it thru to the Eastern Conference finals; again, I actually picked against them in the series with the Celtics. I admittedly thought they'd find a way to let the series slip away, much like they did in Game 5, allowing the Celtics to hang around long enough for Big Baby Davis to hit that memorable game-winner. At that point, the Magic were down 3-2, had a playoff run littered with a number of blown leads and missed opportunities, and were set up to fade into the summer with a good amount of post-season experience to lead them to grow into the future as a team.

But a funny thing happened: their growth took an exponential jump between games 5 and 6. They didn't follow the script of the young up-and-coming upstart team running into a more veteran, tested team along the way of their growth into a conference powerhouse. In hindsight, perhaps that playoff-experience-gaining run actually happened last year? Who knows, but however it happened, these young guns grew up, and grew up quickly. They ran thru the last 2 games against the Celtics with a newfound confidence, and then dispatched of another team they were fully qualified to beat. Naturally, they found ways to make it more difficult than it should have been, like getting off to sluggish starts in all 3 road games, and again allowing their opponent to stick around long enough to become the sidebar in the most over-celebrated shot in NBA history. But they finished the job, and did so in fairly-impressive fashion.

Now they'll gear up to take another step in their growth: playing on the highest of stages, against the best of the Western Conference. Congrats to my favourite young team. From Superman to the Jordan of Turkey, from Shard (owner of the 2nd-prettiest jumper in history) to a Caribbean-brother MP, from young gun Courtney to chissled-veteran Battie, I enjoyed watching you guys play and grow this year. I predicted that you had this success in your future; I just never knew you'd find it within you this quickly! Congratulations and good work.

And condolences to the rest of the Eastern Conference. Barring injury, I'm sure a year from now we'll be looking at a Celtics/Magic Conference finals; after that? Age kicks in, and nothing but a shrinking salary-cap or the 2010 free-agent sweepstakes is going to save the Conference from a long run of looking up at the Magic. Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, and LeBron better switch home addresses if they hope to pose any kind of challenge to this young core.

Assuming GM Smith can continue to work his "magic" in keeping this team together thru the future free agencies of Turkoglu, Gortat, and others, we may be looking at the start of something special.

Best Team? Or Best Record?

2009-05-27T12:18:00.008-04:00

In the past couple of days, I've heard the phrase "best team" being bandied about, naturally in reference to this year's Cleveland Cavaliers. I however have a question, and some NBA history, to impart upon that: since when did regular season records determine who the best team of the year was? Is the team that finishes with the best record ever really the best team?

They say that those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it. A corollary to that saying could well be: those who don't know history are doomed to be confused by current events and make bad predictions and shaky statements.

Of the past 10 teams that finished the regular season with the best overall record, precisely two of them went on to grab the NBA championship: the 2008 Celtics, and the 2003 Spurs. If recent history is much of an indicator, it should be at least another 2-5 years before we witness the perfect storm of a tremendous regular season followed by an impeccable post-season run. In the past 20 years, only nine of the best-record teams captured the NBA title -- and four of those nine were based in the windy city and captained by a certain NBA legend.

So what's with all this best-team talk? Aren't we supposed to wait until the champion is crowned before anointing one team with such a title? In fact, it quite appears that the team with the best overall record is quite a safe answer if the question is "who won't win the title this year?"

Surely, to some, this is all just statistics and nerd-speak; surely, dominating the regular season must translate into post-season success. Yet no one outside of Dallas batted an eye 2 years ago when the Mavs were bounced out in the first round by the one team who had their number. That team won all of 66 games, as compared to this year's Cavs' 67 games. Is there anyone willing to raise their hand to say the 2007 Dallas Mavericks were the best team in the league? Anyone? Anyone? No one considers the '06 Detroit Pistons the 'best' team; that's reserved for the Wade/Shaq ring-bearing squad. There is no shortage of people who will criticize the supposed mirage that was the regular-season domination of the Phoenix Suns of 4 years ago. And the list goes on and on. So why are we being subjected to this ridiculous diatribe with the Cavaliers?

Just why have the best regular-season records not translated into postseason success? It likely boils down to one phrase I used earlier: the perfect storm. So many things have to go right over the 6-month marathon for a team to keep winning so consistently: no major injuries, or minor ones for that matter, a high sustained level of consistency, a good number of weak teams, a middling division, a fair amount of luck, etc.

The good teams that deal with one or more of these and other setbacks, unfortunately, both don't get the best record, and usually gear up to have a perfect storm for the next 6-7 weeks. It's a lot easier to be good and fortunate over the span of 6 weeks than it is over the span of 8 months. The last 2 San Antonio championship teams are a testament to that. They deal with their share of injuries to Duncan, Ginobili, and others, go thru stretches of poor play, and at some point pull back on the reigns of trying to push out the best record. They refocus on getting healthy, getting rested, and gearing up to play their best ball near the end of the season.

And how about the 2009 Boston Celtics? Anybody remember them? Remember that 17-game win streak they reeled off in December? They were rolling thru the season early, and everyone thought they had a chance to break the record for regular-season wins. Then, the Lakers came to town, the losses started to pile up, and there went any thought of a record run. Aftwerwards, they righted the ship, and started powering up towards another postseason run, until -- disaster struck, in the form of a Kevin Garnett knee injury.

But what if they started the season slowly? What if KG hurts that knee before Christmas, has surgery right away, and comes back healthy -- and rested -- in mid-March? What if, from that point on, they started playing that December-quality ball? Simply put, the 2008 Celtics run went against normal NBA-season rules; it was, to an extent, to be expected that the perfect storm of health, quality play, and luck wouldn't fall into place for another 8 straight months. In fact, one could make the case that the '08 Celtics run wasn't all that perfect, considering their struggles in beating the Hawks and Cavaliers in grueling 7-game series.

So what do we make of this best-record, best-team talk? Very little. Does beating a depleted Washington squad in mid-January have any bearing on winning a title? How could it? There are some regular-season records that do matter, records aside from the overall wins tally. How you perform against +.500 teams. How you perform against the other playoff teams. And most importantly, how you perform against the other top-tier teams in the league. If you dominate the best of the best -- something the Cavaliers did not come close to doing this year -- then you are certainly in line for a championship. If you amass a reasonable .500 record against the rest of the league's best, then you've got a pretty good shot at a title, given a little luck and quality play. Remember, once the playoffs start, you've only got to win 57% of the time to win a title. That 57% translates into a 46-win season, a far cry from the 60+ win seasons that the top teams amass. However, if you are a middling sub-.500 against the best teams in the league, a distinction held by the 2009 Cavaliers, it is evidence that trouble is amiss.

Basketball, as with other sports, is a game of matchups. Beating 28 other teams repeatedly really has no bearing on how you'll perform against that 29th team. History has shown this time and time again. Just ask the 2007 Dallas Mavericks and their arch-nemisis, the Oaktown Warriors. Best team? Or best record? The facts say that we wait for the playoffs to end before crowning anyone with the former.

The Magic vs. The Mirage

2009-05-26T09:01:00.003-04:00

Just got thru watching a segment on ESPN's Mike-&-Mike Show with Tim Legler, after watching the ESPN Roundtable with Magic Johnson, Stewart Scott, et. al. The slight majority, when asked who they thought would prevail in tonight's pivotal Eastern Conference Finals game 4, thought that the Cavaliers would finally show their championship mettle, and revert to the great team that we saw during the regular season. Now, I could be disrespectful and ask "have they been watching the first three games?", but I won't do that; rather, I'll ask the better question: "are the Cavs actually a great team?"

Yes, as Legler pointed out, the Cavs marched out to a top-notch 66-16 regular season record. But as was pointed out to me some time ago, the Cavs were a paltry 4-7 against the best of the league -- the Lakers (0-2), Celtics (2-2), Rockets (1-1), and Magic (1-2). They were blown out in Houston by 19 points, destroyed in their last game in Orlando by 29 points. They simply didn't play a championship-calibre game against the best teams all year. So now that we are down to the time of the year where only best of the league remain, why should we expect any different?

I think the problem with this team is the level of talent surrounding the Chosen One. First, let's point out that LeBron this year has elevated his all-around game, rightfully coming close to winning a defensive player of the year award, to go along with his otherworldly offensive talents. But what of the guys around him? Where are the other complete players? I think this question is key to the deficiencies of the Cavaliers.

Has anyone ever mistaken Mo Williams, Delonte West, Sasha Pavlovic, or "Boobie" Gibson as great individual defenders? Where's the other great wing defender on this 'team'? Any team with a big or strong backcourt can post these guys up all day long. On any given night that they're not making shots, how are they useful as basketball players? In the same light, Uncle Wally is hardly known as much of a defender either.

Offensively, how are "Floppy" Varejao or Ben Wallace of any use other than on putbacks and broken plays? Did anyone see the play on Sunday where Wallace had the ball 12 feet from the bucket in the paint and was completely disregarded by the defense; and he obliged them by turning away from the rim and passed the ball? How is Big Z going to body up with a center like, ohh, Dwight Howard, to be able to keep Superman from posting up, getting to the rim, and keeping him off the boards?

The only other player on this team that isn't nearly one-dimensional is Joe Smith, with both his defense and length contributing on one end, and his mid-range jumper making him a quantity on offense. One writer recently pointed out that the Boston Celtics clearly got the short end of the Joe Smith-Mikki Moore sweepstakes.

With the athleticism and abilities of the athletes in the league these days, can a collection of one-dimensional players really get it done on the biggest stage? Every time you plug a player into the game, you're making a sacrifice. Either you're hoping this guy will shoot well enough to offset the points he gives up on defense, or you're hoping this other guy will make enough stops and grab enough boards to make up for the other team completely ignoring him as an offensive threat. And yet, we're left to wonder why such a team would run up into matchup problems?

Now let's flip the scorecard over and look at the Magic's role-players. Mikael Pietrus was brought to Orlando moreso for his defensive prowess, and people are heaping praise on him for doing a decent job against LeBron James (what more can you do against the guy?). Yet how many big plays has he made on the offensive end? How many big shots and drives to the bucket have we seen? Courtney Lee has simply had an impressive rookie season, and had games where he's shined on the offensive end. Yet, in the Boston series, this youngster stuck to Eddie House like glue, and completely, completely took him out of at least 3 games, if not the series in general. Tony Battie is certainly a defensive player, yet he has a very capable mid-range jumper, much like Joe Smith. The same goes for Marcin Gortat. Rafer Alston and Anthony Johnson aren't known for their defense, but you can always insert a wing defender in Lee or Pietrus next to them to solidify the backcourt.

Hedo Turk had a game the other night where he shot 1-11, yet he had 10 assists, got to the free-throw line, and repeatedly put the Cavs' defense out-of-wack by running an effecient pick-and-roll. He also isn't known as the best defender, but he does have size and length to bother certain players on the court. The same goes for Rashard Lewis; he definitely uses his length on the defensive end, and we needn't even waste time discussing his talent on offense. If Turk or Lewis can be exploited on defense, who besides LeChosen One can do the exploiting?

In any case, the Magic certainly have more than their share of two-way, multi-talented players. When Coach Van Panicky inserts these players, he doesn't have to worry about them contributing in one and only facet; he merely has to require that they play good basketball on both ends of the court. Coach Brown? He's got to mix and match, and honestly, just hope for the best.

And going forward past 2009, where's the future for this team? Zydrunas is certainly on the downside of his career, and his lack of athleticism is starting to be exposed. As bigger and stronger centers start coming in, how much further back will he slip? How many years (or months?) before New Jersey's Brook Lopez passes him by? Ben Wallace -- how many more useful years does he have? How far down the depth chart has he already slipped? Wally Z? Sasha Pavlovic? Boobie Gibson? Does this Cleveland team really have much of a long-term future? We will certainly find out in a year or two.

But of more immediate importance: does this collection of one-dimensional role players really have what it takes to be truly considered a great team? Where is Batman's Robin? Where is Superman's Amazing Friends, the Scottie Pippens, the (young) Bruce Bowen's, the Robert Horry types, guys that can contribute all over the court? I simply don't see it.

There's an old sports adage that says: you're never as good as you look when you win, and never as bad as you look when you lose. Just some food for thought.

Nice Try Mike; Nice Try Refs

2009-05-25T00:18:00.003-04:00

When a Coach-of-the-Year isn't quite so much the best coach

Colour me suprised. Many people have brought up, with increasing regularity, the Cavs' 1-2 record verses the Magic in the regular season (along with the longer-term losing record against Orlando, something to the tune of 9 loses in their last 11 games). Naturally, we can't make too much of the games prior to the start of this season, as both the Magic and the Cavs underwent significant roster improvements last summer. The more the wheels begin to fall off the Cav bandwagon, the more analysts and reporters seem to refer to this stat. Well, better late than never people.

In reply, Mike Brown and other Cleveland defenders have pointed out that Cleveland had equally-poor records verses the Pistons and Wizards in previous years, only to dispatch of said teams once the playoffs started. On the face of things, this one seemed like quite the plausible defense, throwing a monkey wrench into our stat-loving rantings.

But let's look a bit closer at said defense, shall we? Last year, Cleveland split their 4 regular-season meetings with Washington, before beating them in the playoffs in 6 games. Two of the regular-season games were decided by 1 and 2 points; Cleveland won a 3rd game by 36 points, and in the 4th, a Wizard win, LeBron James didn't play. What exactly does Coach Brown think was so different about the playoffs? What's he trying to sell us?

Two years ago, Detroit took 3 of 4 from the Cavs, then lost in 6 games in the playoffs. There's nothing on the face that seems to deviate here from what Coach Brown claimed, so score one for him there. Definitely strange turn of events between the regular season and the playoffs. I'm sure there may be some clues in the individual games -- you'd figure there have to be -- but to look would be overkill.

On the other side, that same year, Cleveland took 3 of 4 from the Wizards in the regular season, before sweeping the series in the playoffs. Score one for the regular season.

So, in general, we can say the coach has somewhat of a point -- that it is possible that regular season difficulties will not translate into the playoffs -- but it's probably much more accurate to say that this is a rare occurence. Nothing wrong with playing the percentages, especially when they're overwhelming.

Nice Try Refs

As far as the officiating in tonight's Game 3, what can you say? Horrible? Slanted? Inconsistent? Blatently-biased? A flagrant foul when a guy is going up for a shot? How many out-of-bounds play calls did they get wrong? How many charges did they mis-call? It felt like Kings/Lakers Game 7 all over again.

Kudos to the Magic for overcoming a very curiously called basketball game to take the 2-1 lead.

Halftime of the Lakers/Nuggets...

2009-05-21T22:50:00.003-04:00

Commentators Missing the Ball

We're at half-time of the Laker/Nugget game, where Denver ended on a flurry to trim a 13-pt deficit down to a single point. All the commentators talked about "energy", "effort", and a bunch of generalities and platitudes when discussing their opinion of what went wrong for the Lakers during the run.

They all completely missed the obvious. Andrew Bynum went to the bench, after playing well and having all the announcers praise his play. Lamar Odom came in. in the first half, Bynum was +8, Lamar was -5. Linus Kleiza from of the Nuggets also hit 3 shots from beyond the arc and had a +10 during his time on the court. All the other big-minute players were essentially even.

It's not rocket science people. Can we point out the obvious? And try to give Bynum a little bit of credit? Lord knows we've heaped criticism and/or repeatedly pointed out when he hasn't played near his best.

The Fight Over Superman

OK, this has gone on long enough. Spurned out by the increasingly-curmudgeonly Shaq O'Neil, people (read: ESPN's knuckleheads like Stewart Scott) is going out of their way to bring up the Shaq/Howard Superman co-claim. Having been knocked out of the playoffs over 5 weeks ago, Shaq's relevance to the current NBA final four is completely nil. Yet Stewie felt the need to remind us for the umpteenth time that there was a Superman prior to Dwight's current incarnation.

People, give me a break. Did George Reeves sit around dissing Christopher Reeve to the media in 1978? Did the Daily Bugle print stories about Christopher being an also-ran? Did Dean Cain have to defend himself against barbs from Reeve and Reeves? Do interviewers ask Brandon Routh if he thinks he's the real Superman?

Naturally, no. Shaq, no disrespect boss, but you are yesterday, Dwight is today. That is the beauty of the Superman moniker, because it's following the same history of the Superman character we've already seen. One Superman has his day and then makes his way for an update. Every bit like how George Reeves had to make way for Christopher.

And being that I am the same age as Shaq, I feel fully qualified to point out that he needs to make way for the young fella. And since we're on the subject -- since you like to point out that Dwight isn't doing anything you haven't already done -- would you mind telling the world exactly when you donned a cape and flew thru the air in a dunk contest? Or could you point out the year you won the Defensive POY award? I must've missed that while watching cartoons or something.

The Blind Critizing The Blind

2009-05-13T10:48:00.004-04:00

So, I see that after the Magic fourth-quarter meltdown, Dwight Howard, as respectfully as possible, criticized his coach for his substitution patterns and the lack of offensive touches for Dwight in the game. Unfortunately, while Dwight was right to criticize Van Gundy's offensive game-calling, begging for Van Gundy to call his number on offense is just as clueless.

Dwight says his coach needed to go with what's working -- naturally -- but when did feeding him in the post ever work? The Celtics were playing him straight up with Perkins or Davis, so he wasn't commanding a double-team to free up any shooters or get the defense moving. And he wasn't scoring. On top of that, he's taking hooks running away from the basket, so they can't even get boards. What about feeding Dwight was a good idea?

Dwight was right about the need to feed someone, but he got the wrong person. They should've been feeding Rashard or Hedo. If you go back and watch the game, you'd see it, feeding them never failed. The Celtics (w/o Garnett) have no one that can dream of holding Rashard on the box or out on the wing. Dwight is just as wrong as his coach to not realize this.

Getting the ball to a post player is definitely the answer, instead of those repeated screen-rolls they ran. I see analysts like Tim Legler and Adrian Whatshisface agreeing to that. Problem is, I don't know why no one can see that Dwight is not the player they need to be posting. Perhaps someone like Hollinger with his barrage of statistics might see the light, cause right now I feel like I'm shouting in an empty forest.

Another Offensively-Clueless Van Gundy

2009-05-12T23:01:00.004-04:00

Is "Van Gundy" Dutch for "I will repeatedly run the same play on offense whether it works or not"? Watching the Magic-Celtics tonight was a nightmarish deja-vu of the late-2nd-millenia New York Knicks. From early in the game I was mystified: why does this team keep running post-ups for Dwight Howard? Give Kendrick Perkins and Glen Davis credit: they continually push Superman further away from the basket than he wants to go, making him settle for somewhat-rushed running hookshots in the lane. Dwight is eventually going to be a post-up offensive juggernaut (let's try to remember, the kid is still only 23, and you can see the slow but sure development of a set of post moves). He needs to slow down, put repeated moves, switch directions more than once, and get closer to the rim. However, the 4th quarter of game 5 of the playoff semifinals is not a time to see if he can figure things out.

In any case, the 4 or 5 times that Rashard Lewis or Hedo Turkoglu posted up on the blocks, back to basket, with a clearout, resulted in the Magic getting positive production. A layup, a foul, a shot in close range. About the only time that happened multiple times, to the best of my memory, was in the 2nd quarter. Watching Dwight fail to convert any of his postups time and time again was painful enough; watching the Magic call his number after every successive failure was mind-boggling.

Memo to Stan Van Gundy: THE CELTICS HAVE NO ONE HEALTHY THAT CAN GUARD RASHARD LEWIS! How the &#$* does he not know this? Why is he not being featured? Rashard drives around Perkins, shoots over Davis, and just generally abuses Scalabrine, with incredible regularity and ease. If Kevin Garnett were healthy, this would be a considerably different situation. But guess what: GARNETT'S NOT PLAYING!

If you couldn't tell, I find Van Gundy's offensive play-calling maddening. There is an old sports adage that says you keep running the same play until a team proves they can stop it. In football, you run the ball down the throat of a team who's being manhandled by your offensive line and/or run over by your running back. In baseball, you pitch to a hitter's weak spot (e.g. up and in) until he proves he can hit it. In basketball, you maximize any and all mismatches on the court.

In the 1st-half, Lewis was 6-8, and on shots 13 feet and closer, was 6-7, an assortment of layups and short jumpers. In the 2nd-half, he was 1-2 at close range, and 1-7 on long jumpers and 3 pointers. Let's see; a certain type of play is 85% successful from the field in the first half, and you run it all of TWICE in the second? What the hell do they pay the coaches for? To yell at officials and call random timeouts?

I'm beating this horse dead, and I haven't even gotten to the worst part of the game: the 4th quarter. With 5 minutes to go in the game, the Magic had a ten-point lead and a collar on the game. The Celtics started defending the screen-and-roll much better, got stops on consecutive trips, and started hitting shots. The Magic continued to run the screen-roll. Couple more Celtic buckets, and Van Gundy calls a timeout. Out of the timeout, the Magic run -- yet another screen-roll. At what point does it sink into someone's thick skull that you need to do something different? Isn't this a lesson most of us learn as a toddler? Hand on stove, OUCH, I won't do that again.

But then again, that Howard post-up didn't work in the 1st half, not even once, yet Van Gundy kept calling for it. The meager 3 or 4 times Hedo or Rashard posted up, they got good looks. But hey, why go to something successful. Let's just keep posting Dwight, never mind that it hasn't worked with any success for 5 games.

In the end, the Magic didn't post up either of their forwards for the entire 4th quarter by my count. They never got the 1 or 2 buckets they needed to keep distance, and in the end, the lead slipped away. And with it, perhaps the series.

Good going Stan. This was your loss, make no mistake about that. Next time, try calling some plays that actually work!

Suggestion for Instant Reply: Goaltending Calls

2009-05-11T11:56:00.003-04:00

During yesterday's Boston-Orlando Game 4, I counted at least 4 plays at the basket that were very difficult for the officials to make. Instant reply showed that at least 3 of them may have gone the wrong way. There was the obvious, like Rajon Rondo's goaltend of Mikael Pietrus' layup after the ball had clearly hit the glass; this play resulted in at least a 1 point change (two if you assume Pietrus to hit the resulting and-1 free-throw). There was the difficult, like Dwight Howard's grab of a Rajon Rondo teardrop that appeared to be well short of the rim. Then there was Pietrus' clean shotblock of Ray Allen near the end of the first quarter, a ball that was quite obviously still on the way up. Plays like these are just as bang-bang, and just as reviewable, as other plays that are now up for review on instant replay.

Think about it: much like the current instant-replay rules for 3-point shots, goaltending calls are merely about adjusting the score during the game. Much like the 3-point calls, the officials can mark plays to be reviewed at the next dead-ball timeout. Calls that are deemed incorrect can be adjusted accordingly.

In this game, we're talking about the questionable difference of 5-7 points in a game that was decided by 1 point. Certainly this is something for the rules committee to at least consider in the off-season. At least, that's the view from here on Mars.

Mars versus Earth

2009-05-03T14:44:00.004-04:00

So, now that I went out on a limb in the first round to make predictions, how did I fare, particularly against the best of the best analysts? I checked out the predictions made by the analysts on Yahoo! Sports and ESPN, and am happy to report that I did quite, quite well. The Hawks' fourth and final dismantling of the Heat earned me a tie with ESPN's super-stat man Hollinger, Chris Sheridan, and Thorpe with 25-first-round points.

How did I score and rank these predictions, surely you'd have to ask. For each perfect prediction (series winner and number of games), you get 4 points. For each game a prediction is off by, you lose a point (e.g. if a series goes 5 games and you guessed 6, you'd earn 3 points; a 7-game series that you predicted would be sweep would earn you a single point). And naturally, predicting the wrong team to move on will garner no points.

So what did I learn from this little exercise? Well, for at least one round of the playoffs, I was every bit as good as the most-known analysts at ESPN (a nice achievement) and Yahoo! Sports (nothing to hang your hat on really). Jalen Rose (13 points) should probably stop predicting altogether (Cavs in 6? Celtics and Magic in 4?) Perennial shameless man-hater Adrian Wojnarowski (15 points) should join him (Nuggets in 7? Blazers? Celtics and Magic in 5?)

In any case, the latter rounds are certainly harder to predict; I almost don't expect to do nearly as well the next time around. So I'll certainly savour this "I'm as good as the best" for as long as I can.

Playing With House Money

2009-05-03T13:43:00.002-04:00

No, this post isn't going to detail Eddie's lights-out shooting last night (although that would've been a nice lead-in). Rather, I'm referring to my fairly-strong performance in handicapping the eight first-round series, in relation to the so-called experts (which I'll detail after the Heat-Hawks gave 7 is over). I am incidentally rooting for the Hawks, a win by whom would put me at the top of all the Yahoo Sports and ESPN analysts. Anyway, enough about the first round, let's try to predict the next round.

(6) Mavericks vs (2) Nuggets

Nuggets in 6? Dallas in 6?? Nuggets in 7???

I'm having a damn hard time handicapping this series. Denver might've gone 4-0 against Dallas this year, but each game was a tight win with Dallas missing players. I mean, Josh Howard and Jason Kidd out, Nene out and Denver only wins by 2 points?? Carmelo out, Howard out, and -- still a 2-pt Denver win?

It's anybody's guess who has the upper-hand here. Both teams have identically-mediocre, 22-22 records against plus-500 teams; then you factor in the fact that Dallas hasn't had their full lineup for the bulk of the year. I already severely underestimated the Mavs, both in the late-season stretch, and then again verses the Spurs. Can I bet against them again? Or is it midnight for Cinderella?

Ultimately, I think if it comes down to a game 7, the Nuggets would find a way to pull it out on their home court. I think. Ah to hell with it: Nuggets in 7.

(1) Cavaliers vs. (4) Hawks
It's halftime of the Hawks-Heat game 7, a game that is shaping up just like the other 6 games -- a blowout. So I'll just pencil the Hawks into this spot. Ultimately the outcome isn't going to hinge on the opponent; they'll both suffer the same quick fate.

Incidentally, a few days ago I read one analyst's first-round predictions; his "explanation" under the Cavs/Pistons matchup was simply "let's not waste anyone's time." If that wasn't humourous enough, his prediction was met with severe and abject hostility by one user in the comments section, who projected at least a 7-game series and a big surprise from the Pistons.

Then the rest of us got to see what actually happened.

In any case, for this matchup, look for the Hawks to keep throwing up stinkers in alternate games: Cavaliers in 5.

(1) Lakers vs. (4) Rockets
The Lakers' depth and star-power vs. Houston's defense and Great China Wall length. Hmm. This really comes down to how many games can Houston steal. And also how effective Andrew Bynum is, rebounding and blocking shots. I'll stretch my imagination and say 2 games: Lakers in 6.

(2) Celtics vs. (3) Magic
This is an interesting matchup, what with Boston losing players on a daily basis, and the Magic getting semi-healthy and putting together one of their better games (in the close-out verses Philadelphia) in weeks. I wish I would've had the time to blog previous to that game, because I wholly unsurprised to see Marcin Gortat fill in so nicely for Superman; and equally unsurprised to see the Sixers come out so unbelievably flat, on top of having middling players like Sam Dalembert embarrass themselves to think that they'd have some sort of automatic advantage over anyone on the Magic roster in Dwight Howard's absence. When has Dalembert ever in his career dominated a game? You have to wonder about the inflated opinions some players -- some people -- have of themselves sometimes.

In any case, the competitiveness of this series hinges solely on the Magic playing to their ability. They should be able to take out a Garnett-less Celtics team in 6 games; somewhere in the pits of my stomach I see them finding some way of playing below their potential. As much as I love this young team, I have been watching them all year. Celtics in 7.

Discussing Steroids In 2009

2009-04-30T18:41:00.003-04:00

In light of the latest book alleging steroid use by an MLB player, let's sum up my views of the baseball steroid discussion in 2009:

For the love of God, enough already!

The End.

Llllllllllet's Get Ready To Rumble!

2009-04-18T00:53:00.004-04:00

Well, here we are, we've made it to the most wonderful time of the year. Winter is finally over, the weather is warming, and the trees are starting to bloom. Baseball is back in full swing, meaning there'll be sports to watch each and every day of the week. The scarves and down jackets have been officially put into hibernation, and the ladies of America are starting to transition to summer wears. It's a great time to be a man.

But of course, all that pales in comparison to the annual dawning of the NBA Playoff season (well, all that except for the ladies). I could wax poetically about the wealth of games, the great matchups, the fun of the 8-series-deep first round. But I think I'll try something different -- for me -- this year. I'm usually loathe to making predictions, because prognosticators are almost always invariably proven wrong, but I will actually put my proverbial neck on a block and offer up some predictions for the opening salvo.

East:

(1) Cavaliers vs (8) Pistons
Cavalier depth and LeBron's growing greatness vs. Detroit experience and intestinal fortitude. In this case, quality team bests quantity of experience. The Pistons could easily find their swagger and make it a decent 6-game series, but I'll go with the teams' respective current trends: Cleveland in 5.

(2) Celtics vs (7) Bulls
How do you handicap this one? Which Celtics team will show up, the one that was 15-7 without Garnett, or the can't-shoot-straight squad that lost one of those 7 by 31 points? And which Chicago team will we see, the one that reeled off 12 wins in their last 15 to bring the season near a close, or the one that got tossed around by lottery-bound Toronto on the final day with a chance at 6th place on the line?

The Celtics psyche vs the Bulls hype. Rose vs Rondo. Salmons vs The Truth. This is just an interesting series because of all the variables. But, for the sake of a pick, I'll say Celtics in 6.

(3) Magic vs (6) 76ers
Will the Magic rediscover their long-range shooting touch? Or their defense? Is Hedo over his bum ankle? Has the extra rest brought Rashard back to two spritely knees? Will Superman stay out of foul trouble? Will Rafer be able to contain Andre Miller, or will Courtney, Pietrus, et al need to take turns? Can the Sixers defend at all? How can they even dream of slowing down the new man of steel? Did I really just suggest that Andre Miller might consistently abuse a defender?

Given the inconsistent nature of these teams, a 4-game blowout is as likely as a 7-game nail-biter. But I'll go with conventional wisdom -- too much Dwight Howard and too little Philly defense -- and just take the split and say: Magic in 6.

(4) Hawks vs (5) Heat
Easily the most intriguing East matchup on paper (the playoffs usual shake out to be way more interesting than paper). At present, Dwayne Wade doesn't quite have enough help, or healthy-enough help: Hawks in 6.

West:

(1) Lakers vs (8) Jazz
The only way this shakes out to be a competitive series is if Utah figured out their road woes in the past three days. You get the feeling that L.A. was partly toying with the Traveling Mormons a few days ago, scoring a mere 69 points in the second half. Devin Williams vs Derek Fisher is the only advantage Utah has to exploit, but the emergence of Shannon Brown off the bench may end up negating a chunk of that advantage anyways. Other than that, Boozer looks neither healthy or dominant enough to be the man this time around. Lakers in 5.

(2) Nuggets vs (7) Hornets
The Jazznets have gone from conference contender to irrelevant playoff participant in less than 12 months. The front office should garner a few votes for Non-Executive of the Year on the strength of standing pat and watching the rest of the conference zoom on by. (Naturally, Steve Kerr's name is being etched into this trophy as we speak). The Hornets don't have nearly enough quality bigs to keep this interesting. Another fall-back year like this and people will start wondering where Chris Paul will bolt in free agency. But that's another subject. Nuggets in 5.

(3) Spurs vs (6) Mavericks
A fun series just on the strength of the teams and rivalry involved, this has a good possibility to turn into an upset, if you put stock into how well the Mavs are playing lately. How healthy are Tim Duncan's knees? Hmm. This will be a tight one, but I think depth, experience, Duncan and Parker push the Spurs over the top -- barely. Spurs in 7.

(4) Rockets vs (5) Trailblazers
Can Artest and Battier make life difficult enough for Brandon Roy? Will the Blazers be launching wide-open threes or highly-contested ones? I'm gonna take the slightly-less popular pick here, and go with the Rockets' defense and Artest's will: Rockets in 6.

Well, now that that's done, I can sit back, watch the games unfold and see just how incredibly wrong I was. With any luck this'll put me right on par with the "experts".

Backing In

2009-04-12T00:34:00.003-04:00

Having just returned from the Izod Center in New Jersey after watching the Orlando Magic put in a second-straight disappointing performance to a New York-area team, it seems more than appropriate to talk about a handful of teams who are using the last week of the season to play their worst basketball of the year. Rounding out this less-than-estimable list: Orlando, Utah, New Orleans, Detroit.

Orlando

All of a sudden, the Magic Kingdom youngsters can't shoot straight, and can't defend. Tonight I was in the house to watch the Nets -- minus lead playmaker Devin Harris -- pick apart the Magic time and time again. Keyon Dooling had a double-double with 10 assists for the love of Mars. Keyon Dooling! The Magic shooting has been awful lately -- somewhere in the neighbourhood of 28% shooting from 3-pt range, so tonight (7-18, 39%). Of course, they did manage to miss 13 free throws in a game they lost by 10, so now they're just inventing new and original ways to lose games.

But the bigger story would be the lack of defense and energy from the team. Seems they've hit either a rut or a wall, but 54% FGs/55% 3pts from the field is enough to make Stan Van Gundy go crazy and ballistic. And go crazy he certainly did. About midway thru the 3rd quarter, I found myself looking immediately for Coach Stan after every blown assignment and wide-open 3-pointer, and I was never disappointed. Van Gundy has the most dazzling array of slums-into-chair, head-rolls, throw-hands-up-high, throws-self-against-seat-back, walks-down-bench-to-talk-to-Dwights than any coach in the league. If Stan were an offense, he'd be unpredicatedly good and impossible to defend. In any case, for this night, his histrionics were certainly warranted.

As for that 55% (11-20) from downtown, when was the last time the Magic allowed an opponent to take, and make, more 3 pointers in a game?

In the trenches, somehow the Magic got the rebounding job done by committee -- the teams ran basically even in that stat -- but I'm sure Dwight Howard isn't proud of being outrebounded by Brook Lopez, or being outscored Josh Boone.

But back to the shooting: this is always the danger of a team built on so many good shooters. If they go cold, it's going to be a long long night. And lately -- 4 losses in 7 games, coming on the heels of a 6-game winning streak -- they've been frigid. Then to add insult, the injury bug has begun to surface, claiming Rashard Lewis with knee tendinitis (started a 2-game rest) and Hedo Turkoglu with a sprained ankle.

Coach Stan can only hope, as a friend of mine would say, that they're getting all the losing out of their system before the playoffs start.

Utah

Now, if you've been following the league, you'll know what a horrid road team the Jazz have been, both lately and for the most of the year. You'll also know how virtually indestructible they've been at home -- until now at least. Losing to a short-handed Golden State team fielding only seven warm bodies? At home? By a lot?? Yes, 10 points is a healthy margin of defeat, especially considering they needed a 32-25 4th-quarter advantage just to make the game look like something less than a blowout. Especially considering you are finally sporting a shiny new healthy roster?

We happily blamed their Dallas blowout and Spurs loss on the as-yet-unexplainable road woes, but tonight defies even that weak explanation. Winning only 3 of their past 10 games makes that 12-game win streak seem like a figment of imagination. Or some other season of yesteryear.

New Orleans

4 losses in your last 5 games automatically qualifies you for this post. Losing to the Warriors, then getting pasted by the Mavs and Jazz makes you a unanimous selection.

Detroit

Doing their best Jekyl & Hyde impersonation, the Pistons have been swinging between 3-game winning and losing streaks for the past 4 weeks. They're still trying to figure out who plays and who rides the bench, and Will has been the most-talked-about Bynum in Michigan. Not exactly what thany coach would dream up

Honorable mentions

The Sixers (4-game losing streak) and Heat (4 wins in last 10) are certainly making their coaches' playoff preparation a blood-pressure rising hell, but really, we're not expecting too much of these teams in the playoffs anyways -- are we?

Return Of The Mack; Denver - Meet: Competition

2009-04-10T01:28:00.002-04:00

Return Of The Mack

The much-awaited return of the Playboy-mansion-mack finally happened. For what it's worth, Bynum's return was somewhere between good and great. He was a step slow on some rotations, a step slow in some rebounding situations, and the timing was off on at least one potential alley-oop in the 2nd quarter. All of that, however, is completely expected after over 2 months away from game action. The good? He repeatedly got excellent position deep in the post, pulled down 7 decent boards, and scored 16 surprising points in 22 effective minutes. He looked better and better as the minutes wore on, putting up a bunch (13) of his points in the 3rd quarter. He was passing the ball fairly decently out of the post and working within the triangle offense, and moved pretty well out there. All in all, the LA contingent have to be happy with what they saw, and should be looking forward to improvements in the remaining the 3 games of the season.

As for all those people criticizing Andrew's rehab at the Hugh Hefner Workout Center: get a life you jealous morons. If any guy days away from playing an NBA game can't hoist 110-pounds-when-wet of skin and silicon, then it's better you find out before he laces up his Nike's.

By the way, there were two other guys, Pau and Kobe, that were pretty good last night too.

Allow Me To Introduce: Real Competition

Denver's 8-game win streak fell hard tonight, and they also dropped to 1-3 against the Western Conference leaders. As chronicled in this space a day ago, I can only hope that too many people weren't making too much of their recent win streak, given the sorry level of competition they schedule makers had granted to them. In the pack of teams all vying recognition as 2nd-best in the West, I'm not too convinced that Denver has done anything to separate themselves, regardless of their lock on the 2nd seed and Northwest Division crown. The 2-thru-8 fight should continue to be riveting over these remaining 6 days of the regular season.

The New Two-Face; Why So Serious?

2009-04-09T02:34:00.004-04:00

Touring Act

Anyone care to try to figure out the Utah Jazz? The immovable force at home; the illegitimate stepchild on the road. I recall saying some weeks ago, either in this blogspace or elsewhere online, that something about this team isn't quite impressing me. Rare as it is that I am right, I think I should relish this one for a bit. 32-7 at home; 15-24 on the road. And it's hardly attributable to the early-season, injury-laden struggles; they've been thrown for just as many road loses lately as they have all year.

Last night of course was no exception. How does a team that boasts supposed tough guys like Carlos Boozer and Paul Millsap get so outrageously man-handled on the boards and in the paint? How does a Jerry Sloan-coached team allow Mavericks to trapse in, out, and all around the paint literally for 48 minutes? Without a hard foul or anything? It seemed like Jason Kidd and J.J. Barea were playing tag-team on Deron Williams, taking turns carving him up endless with picks-&-rolls. It was like watching -- the Suns verses Dallas on Sunday. If you're a Jazz fan, it should scare you that anyone would fix their mind to compare your defense to Phoenix. Actually, that should worry you no matter which team you're a fan of.

Utah's season-long road struggles must be driving Sloan crazy. At least teams like the Blazers and Bulls can point to youth, learning how to deal with the travel and all that jazz. The Mormons? Maybe it's time to start praying. Or fire their travel agent, whoever picks the hotels and the meals, down to who puts chocolate on their pillows. They oughta be willing to try anything at this point.

What's happened to the Rest of the West?

Wasn't too long ago everyone was telling us how much better the Western Conference was. Now, there isn't another team who anyone can dream of putting up much of a fight versus the Lake Show. OK, Denver perhaps; we'll get a bit of insight to that matchup in less than 24 hours. I mean, they're rounding into form, peaking at the right time of the season, right? 8 in a row, 13 of their last 14, sounds like a powerhouse team, a legitimate #2 and a lock for a bitter conference finals matchup, right? Right?

Well, as we learned with Utah about a month ago, all streaks are not created equal. Thunder. Clippers. Nets. Grizzlies. Wizards. Warriors. Knicks. Mormons. Clippers again. T-Wolves. Thunder again. That's 11 of the 13 wins. Throw in a 2-pt victory over Mark Cuban's Jekyl-&-Hyde creation, and a fast-fading Hornets team, and does that win streak still excite you?

Didn't think so.

And the rest? Spurs -- no Ginobili, ailing Duncan? No way, mon. Houston -- 0-4 vs the Lakers? Big problem. Portland's kiddies? Take your first experience and run along home now youngsters. Hornets -- no Chandler and no Posey you say? Moving right along. The Jazz and Mavs? Seriously?

At least the Cavs/Magic/Celts triumvirate in the East give the impression of intrigue. If the Lakers play anywhere in the vicinity of their potential, the Western Conference race will turn out to look awfully similar to this year's NCAA tournament. A coronation and a foregone conclusion.

The pendulum is making a return swing.

An End To The Misery, Shooting the Lights Out

2009-04-07T11:26:00.006-04:00

Just when you thought the race for 8th place in the West might get interesting, kaboom! 140 points happens. It was unthinkable that the Mavericks would lose to Memphis last Friday (although the Grizz have won 5 of their last 6, no one is holding any celebrations for beating the likes of Sacramento, Washington, GS, Milwaukee) to even make this game meaningful. But then, we are talking about the Dallas Mavericks here.

So that sets up the Sunday showdown between the Suns and Mavericks. Suns win, and they're only 2 games back, with 5 games left and a marshmellow schedule against the league's creampuffs. Surely this was the game they circled on the calendar for the past couple weeks, the game for all the marbles...right?

Oh what a debacle, what a sight to behold. We now know that the Suns are finished -- their tragic number is down to 1, meaning their next loss or Mavs win will officially lock in their offseason fishing plans. Can you think of a team that played any worse in a game of such magnitude? (Well, Game 6 of the 2008 Finals does come to mind...). It was the perfect storm, a perfectly horrid defensive performance, a perfectly hungry, unhappy, home team shooting the lights out any chance they got a sliver of daylight. Well, I shouldn't be using kind words like 'sliver', seeing as how most of Dallas' shots seemed to come without a Suns player anywhere in the picture frame.

Now, I've spoken repeatedly about the Suns horrible, horrible defense in the past -- but Sunday was such a perfect case study. You can just analyze the plays shown on highlight reels and learn everything you need to know about the 2009 Phoenix Suns.

Start with the fast break at the 1:10 mark of the video. Jared Dudley (#3) in the foreground is pointing at the Mavs' Brandon Bass as he wizzes by him into the lane, indicating that someone needs to pick him up. However, he doesn't bother to cover Jason Terry who is right in front of him spotting up at the 3-pt line. Kidd delivers the pass to Terry, who buries a wide-open three in front of the too-late-to-scramble-and-recover Dudley. "You get that guy, I'll stick -- nobody."

Next highlight, J-Kidd runs a pick-and-roll with Josh Howard. Howard's man, the otherwise esteemable Grant Hill, allows Kidd to split any semblance of trap they were thinking of forming and get into the lane. Shaq steps up to stop Kidd's drive, leaving Brandon Bass free to waltz down the baseline, Kidd free to throw a quick lob from 7 feet out, and the fans free to rejoice a thunderous Bass slam. But there was even more on that play. If you pause it at the moment Kidd hits the free-throw line, you'll see both wing defenders -- Leandro Barbosa and Jason Richardson -- sagging down below the line, following the play with their eyes and bodies even though they are nowhere close to helping out. This left two more shooters open on both sides of the arc, were Kidd to have somehow made up his mind beforehand and not noticed Bass.

Next highlight, an alley-oop to Josh Howard, who ran literally all the way in from beyond the 3-pt line after his defender turned his head to watch a pick play that was happening all the way on the other side of the court.

Are you noticing a trend? Who do you blame? Kidd had his way with Nash as you'd expect, getting into the lane and disrupting the defense any time we wanted. But it's not like the rest of the team is actually aware enough to play defense man-up anyways.

I'm beating a dead horse at this point, but it's like watching a car wreck on the highway for me (something I absolutely loathe, for which I will probably get a road-rage charge at some point in my life by the way).

They are so, so bad, and I just can't help but watch.

Dallas on the other hand -- now that they're positioned to look upwards in the standings to continue chasing the 7th spot -- I fully expect them to lose 3 of their last 5 and make the 8th-place race mathematically interesting for the next week. I mean, we are talking about the Dallas Mavericks here.

What does it all mean?

2009-03-26T13:05:00.003-04:00

Last night was one of those fun nights where you don't quite know what to make of the results. One team beats another, and you naturally want to conflate some meaning going into the playoffs; but can you?

Celtics @ Magic

Close-knit win by the Magic, gaining them a leg up on the race to 2nd in the East. Bostonites might say, hey, we only had Kevin Garnett for 16 minutes in the 1st and 3rd quarters. True, but when Kevin was on the floor, the Celts were -10, and watching the game you didn't need to see that number to know it. The Celts allowed a few more forays to the basket than you're used to seeing by Rashard Lewis, Cortney Lee and the like. Is KG not yet up to game shape? Should we put more stock in the C's 4th quarter comeback? Or more stock in the fact that there probably wouldn't have been a comeback had it not been for the number of chippies and wide-open looks that the Magic missed throughout the game? The youngsters had ample opportunity at a number of stretches to pump the lead up to 20 points, easily; I can think of at least 4 blown layups off the top of my head. But then there's the Truth factor: the Mag had no measure of an answer for him. Then again, there is the Hedo factor: surely, surely, no one can expect this All-Star calibre player to have many more 3-18 games in him.

In the end, it probably all balances out, and a series between the teams would be a tough tough out for either. Now, if Jameer Nelson were healthy, it becomes an even tougher out for the Celtics. Either way, I think the young Mag end up gaining infinitely-valuable playoff experience this year. Going forward, with a healthy Nelson backed up by Rafer Alston and Anthony Johnson -- assuming the Magic get Hedo re-signed -- look out Eastern Conference. You're living on borrowed time.

Utah @ Phoenix

This was the game the Suns had to win. The Mavs were playing the Golden State Running Dubs, and, naturally, putting up points by the boatloads in an easy win. Somehow, someway, the Suns pulled out a victory. My Suns-fan friend had told me earlier in the day how well Grant Hill had been playing lately, and I got to see it 1st hand last night. He was very, very good, nice drives into the lane, hitting the mid-range jumper, etc. It was vintage Hill. And J-Rich was pretty good for long stretches too. So where does that leave us? Is Utah really as good as that 12-game stretch they ran off a couple weeks back? Or are they fit to really struggle to beat a team on the outside looking in at the race? Are the Jazz simply that much poorer of a team on the road?

That last one is the biggie. Their only hope to host a playoff series is to catch Denver and beat out Portland for the Northwest crown. And even then, it's only one playoff series. After their win streak, during which the only road games were against the dregs of the league, they started coming back down to Earth, with a big splash. Last night couldn't be too confidence-inspiring.

In any case, Phoenix has another tough test tonight, rolling into Portland to face another team that's fighting tooth and nail for playoff positioning. They then have to face the Jazz on Saturday, who will be licking their chops after two days off feasting on home cooking.

Milwaukee loses to...Toronto? Charlotte loses to...Washington??

Congratulations Chicago. Apparently the only other potential suitors for a date with the Cavaliers in the first round have already put on their pajamas and pimple cream and turned in for the night. I can't imagine how those teams ended up losing those games, but, I can't bear the thought of League-Pass-ing the games to find out how and why.

And why yes, I did just make up a new term: leaguepassing a game - verb - watching a re-run of a game on NBA League Pass. Yes it's corny, no it has no chance of sticking, but, well, for today, there you go.

Still not as bad as the HornuhBobcats losing a must-win game to the Wizards.

The Playoff Surge

2009-03-21T11:46:00.008-04:00

With about 14 or so games left (depending on the team), the playoff race is starting to heat up and round into focus. The races for certain spots are definitely growing more interesting by the day.

Shootout in the Old West

With the Lakers concerned more with projecting the return of Andrew Bynum than looking in the rearview mirror, how terrific of a race is the rest of the conference is shaping up to be! 3 games separate spots 2 thru 7, and all 6 teams are within 2 games of a division crown. I could start to analyze the team's remaining schedules, recent performances, and what not; but how could anyone make a choice with so many teams locked so close? Let's just sit back and watch these fun matchups:

March 22: Houston @ SA
March 24: Houston @ Utah
March 25: Denver @ N.O.
March 29: SA @ N.O.
March 31: Utah @ Portland
April 2: Utah @ Denver
April 5: Utah @ N.O., Portland @ Houston
April 8: Portland @ SA
April 10: Utah @ SA
April 13: N.O. @ Houston
April 15: N.O. @ SA, Denver @ Portland

Could we have two games on the last night of the season that may determine a division crown? Could four teams be jumping between spots 2 to 6 in one night? Or all six teams? Stay tuned.

As luck would have it, I'll be traveling on April 16th, so I won't miss any of the action. But lemme just fix my mind to finish packing on the 14th or I might be struggling to make that plane early the next day.

First-round fodder

In the East, there is, mathematically, a 6-team shootout to see who becomes the doormat for the LeBronians -- I don't forsee anyone stretching them to a 7-game marathon like the Hawks last year against Boston -- but realistically, it's starting to look like a 2-team bout between the new-and-improved Bulls and the steadily-improving Bobcats. By my esteemable estimation, the teams will have identical 32-38 records by the end of the day, judging by the likelihood of Charlotte winning at home against the Pacers, and the Bulls losing to the Lakers. By any measure, the teams are neck-and-neck. While I recently thought it to be a foregone conclusion that the Bobcats would out-perform any other team racing for that 8th spot, the John Salmons/Brad Miller-infused Bulls have managed to reel off a respectable 6-4 record in their last 10 games.

The schedule seems to favour the Bulls; every game after today is more than winnable, with contests against the likes of Washington, Detroit, Indiana, Toronto, and the New York Area Rebuilders. The Bobcats on the other hand still have the Lakers, Boston, and Orlando to contend with.

We should know a great deal more when the two teams match up on the final Saturday of the season, a game that could potentially be huge. No matter the outcome of that game, Charlotte will own the tiebreaker, having won the first two games of the 3-game season series. It's gonna be tight.

With all due respect to injury-plagued Milwaukee, the now-Devin Harris-less Nets, the D'Antoni Offenders, and the Indiana giant-killers, math or no math, they'll be inking their golf and fishing plans by time April rolls around.

In the West, most people, myself included, have all but written off the Suns' chances at catching Dallas for the final spot, but perhaps we shouldn't be so quick to turn off the lights. Though the Mavs have put up more W's recently, neither team's play exactly inspires a wealth of confidence. Josh Howard is hurting for the Mavs, while Leandro Barbosa has joined Amare Stoudemire on the injury list, putting each team at a further disadvantage in the stretch run.

The Mavs were able to eeke out a win last night in Indiana, who despite their record has managed to play the top teams tough all year long; so perhaps we can give a pass to Dallas on this one. Had they lost, their lead would've shrunk to two games and made the race significantly more interesting. Going forward, Phoenix (Wizards, Grizz twice, Wolves, Warriors, Kings twice) seems to have more games verses teams they absolutely have to beat than does Dallas (Warriors, Wolves twice, Grizz). The Mavs have a shorter schedule, but have to play more teams that are more than capable of beating them. So, the schedule favours Phoenix slightly, but naturally, the 3-game deficit in the standings does not.

The biggest game will be 3 Sundays from now, when the teams play each other. If Dallas wins, that would give them a 3-1 win in the season series, and turn it into a 4-game deficit overall. If Phoenix wins, and beats those Sacramentos and Memphises on their schedule, they may end up with the better conference record tiebreaker. So who knows?

The Mavs hold on the spot still seems strong, but if you're Phoenix, you keep playing and playing hard until April 15th, cause they still have an outside shot at surprising us yet.

Congratulations in advance for the team that earns the right to become a playoff sparring partner for the Lakers.

The Rest

Naturally, everyone knows about the race for the best record overall, with a months-long battle-royal down to just the Cavs and Lakers. The Cavs look like they smell blood; I'm watching them plaster the 7-game win-streak Hawks as I write this (40-16 and counting). The Lakers meanwhile are juggling lineups (slightly) and waiting with baited breath on the health of Andrew Bynum's knee.

The Hawks' recent run nevertheless has seem to have put an end to the race between them and the Heat for the 4th spot; the Heat meanwhile are have to be more concerned with the Sixers and Pistons nipping on their heels. Playing the Hawks in the 1st round has to be a helluva lot more palatable than dropping into a showdown with the Magic, Celtics, or Cavaliers.

Can't wait to see how it all plays out. Well, as long as I don't go missing any flights.

What's in a career (year)?

2009-03-14T12:46:00.006-04:00

The calendar has turned to March, giving us, among other things, the heating up of the NBA MVP conversation. If you're an NBA junkie, you've heard all the discussions by now, the arguments for and against the leading candidates of LeBron, Kobe, and D-Wade. If you're not an NBA junkie, you're probably most focused on the NCAA tournament. Well, for the junkies among you, I'll continue with the NBA discussion.

So I happened to be reading this article, in which a writer makes the case of history against Dwyane Wade's candidacy. Ignoring the obvious "duh" nature of the argument, I happened upon this gem of a quote:

And it’s not a coincidence that guys like Mo Williams and Delonte West are having career years. [LeBron] James is helping to elevate them.

Huh? Career years? Let's look at the numbers, shall we?

Year	PPG	FG%	3PT%	Rbs, Ast, Stl
Williams: 2008-2009	18.0	46.8	43.2	3.3, 4.0, 0.9
Williams: 2007-2008	17.2	48.0	38.5	3.5, 6.4, 1.2
West: 2008-2009	12.0	46.5	41.4	3.1, 3.6, 1.6
West: 2007-2008	10.3	44.0	36.7	3.7, 4.5, 1.1
West: 2005-2006	11.8	48.7	38.5	3.1, 3.6, 1.6

Career years? What exactly have West and Williams done this year that they haven't done in previous years? Aside from the 3pt shooting percentages, is there a single measure by which these players haven't simply performed as they've performed for the bulk of their careers? We're certainly not going to hedge a label of career-year based on one statistical category, getting more wide-open looks from behind the arc. The only difference is that they're playing in games that matter, on a team that people actually bother to watch this year.

And naturally, with LeBron dominating the ball more, both of their assist and turnover numbers have gone down. Doesn't do much for a player's career when you can say "the more you give him the ball, the worse he performs."

In fact, there has been a decent amount of print about how many players' games either remained the same or have actually declined alongside James. Here's a quick study done 2 years ago. We can now update the case study to include Delonte and Mo.

Most people, myself included, thought the Mo Williams pickup was a good one for the Cavs, but not because we thought he was gonna somehow elevate his game beyond what we'd already seen. It was because we surmised that what he was already doing, his basic talent-level, would benefit the team.

By contrast, let's look at a player who is actually having a career year (until his unfortunate injury); one of my favourite little men, Jameer Nelson:

2007-2008: 10.9 46.9 41.6 3.5, 5.6, 0.9
2008-2009: 16.7 50.3 45.3 3.5, 5.4, 1.2
A jump in every shooting category, a 6pt increase in scoring, while maintaining in all other areas. A career year that makes.

I think I'm going to copyright the completely-abused phrase "makes his teammates better". That way, people will have to pay me for every use, forcing them to either refrain from throwing it around carelessly, or to ensure, in this age of the battered economy, that they get maximum return on their investment. You know, by actually taking the time to see if it's true before trotting it out.

More bad NBA broadcasts, and a bad game recap to boot

2009-03-09T23:29:00.005-04:00

* I just got thru watching the Detroit Pistons extend their long win streak over the Orlando Magic; actually, "suffered thru" is a better description of the last 45 minutes for my ears and brain. Now, general speaking, the broadcast wasn't completely terrible; actually, it was quite vanilla, neither bad nor good in any way. But one simple question highlights the glaring omission that took a run-of-the-mill broadcast from average to painfully horrible: where was Hedo Turkoglu? Right now, I have no idea. The Pistons broadcasters rambled on and on incessantly about the loss of Rasheed Wallace (he left near the end of the first quarter with a strained calf and didn't return), but the Magic's 2nd most important player plays 20 minutes, and they don't even notice? I'm at a loss for words. I was left to scratch my head for those 45 minutes, wondering why I saw J.J. Redick running around aimlessly, getting repeatedly abused by Rip Hamilton.

At one point I recall those Piston broadcasters, noticing the entrance of Marcin Gortat, inform us that the Magic were going to run their own version of the twin towers. Such insight. Never mind that, as I now learned 2 hours after the final buzzer, one of the most important players on the Magic squad went down to injury (thank you Detroit News). Oh no, Gortat's insertion alongside Dwight Howard was clearly a strategy-first move. Way to earn that paycheck guys.

Then to top it off, the full AP recap didn't mention Hedo either? At all??? Did I drop into the twilight zone? Could Pau Gasol or Paul Pierce sustain an injury and no one notice?

On second thought, maybe I should cut the AP writer some slack; perhaps he (or she) was listening to the Pistons broadcast when scribbling their game notes. I guess that reporter at the Detroit News would've had enough experience to know better.

* Caught the final quarter and both overtimes of the Heat/Bulls game, and got to enjoy some more Dwayne Wade wizardry...and endure some broadcaster torture. The final play was amazing, picking John Salmons' pocket at the top of the key in the backcourt, dribble half the length of the floor, put up a one-foot runner at the buzzer from the 3-pt line.....buckets! And then to see Wade get all "mannish" -- "this is my house!". Wicked.

But then what followed was headache-inducing. Congratulations and adulation is great...man-worship is annoyingly, uhh, effeminate. The next five minutes was a top-of-the-lungs, barely-legible man-loving rant: "MVP! Best in the game! Greatest of all time!" Mix, rinse, repeat for 120 seconds. Colorman: "The refs are checking to see if it was a three!" Umm no. Play-by-play: "Oh yea, they're also checking to see if he got it off in time." Well, at least you're somewhere in the neighbourhood; we'll give your "also checking" nonsense a pass since you were in the midst of an orgasmic celebration.

But please, calm down. This is the NBA. A sporting event. Exciting things do happen every so often.

* Some random thoughts:
- the Lakers are a pretty good lock to win a title with Andrew Bynum; without him? Hmmm not so much. I've been having this thought for the past couple weeks now, even before the destruction happening in Portland as I type this (Blazers lead by 28 after 3). Such a shame.

- something told me to reserve excitement over the Rafer Alston trade. The Magic still haven't returned to their level of prominence. I don't know if it'll happen for the young kids this year. Rafer looks great on paper, but there's something still missing with this team, something Jameer brought that is still lacking. It could be as simple as the shot-making: Jameer was murder when left open, but Rafer hasn't proven to be nearly as accurate.

- why does my gut tell me Utah's not quite for real? Everything else says they are: great PG, great PF, capable bench, reeling off a long win streak, and they might be more rested than everyone else (seeing as how so many of them weren't playing), and they're finally healthy with their full complement of playe -- oh, wait, was that Boozer missing another game yesterday? OK err umm never mind.

In any case, I dunno; what's really different about this team from last year, apart from the emergence of Paul Milsap? I am open to the fact that I could well be wrong; maybe they just need another year together, another year of growth for Deron, and some magic elixir to keep the team healthy, and maybe they'll take that next step -- oh wait, I keep forgetting, Boozer, ankle, DNP.

Those Utah docs are certainly earning their keep.

- speaking of Utah, it's starting to look like Jerry Sloan is going to get the equivalent of a sentimental lifetime achievement plaque masquerading as the Coach-of-the-Year award. Not to say he hasn't done a great job this year, keeping the team afloat thru the M*A*S*H parade. But still, has anybody done more with less, and with more problems and rotating lineups, than Rick Adelman in Houston? Take a look at their roster; how is this team winning games? Lots of them? With defense? Is this the same Adelman that coached the running gunning early-3rd-millennium Sacramento Kings? Not that any team with Ron Artest and Shane Battier shouldn't play good D; they should. But still, this is Adelman we're talking about. Everyone thought Jeff Van Gundy would've packed their defense into his Honda Civic when he was cleaning out his locker, but no such thing. Between that, the injury situation, and incorporating new players after a mid-season trade, Adelman is turning in a hands-down coach-of-the-year performance.

But that whole lifetime achievement award thing for Sloan would hardly be the worst travesty to befall an award. Halle Berry for Oscar it would certainly not be.

Weeping & Wailing and The Nashing of Teams

2009-02-05T17:45:00.034-05:00

A lot of news floating around the NBA today; let's start with the most enjoyable:

Dreams really do come true. David Stern again selects Ray Allen as the injury replacement for the East All-Stars. That giant howling sound you just heard coming from Ohio wasn't an arctic wind, it was the groan of 2 million Cavalier fans over the déjà-snüb of their beloved Mo Williams. I won't lie: I was praying, literally praying, that this would happen. Why? Because delusion is fun, and tortured fans are priceless humour. So let the tears flow and the belly-achers blow.

I'm basking in the comments over on ESPN; here's my favourite:

St.Rufus IV
And if you think Lebron is the only guy on the Cavs...I will give you Exibit A, which is the most recent West coast trip...Mo averaged over 30 for those 7 games.

Hmmm. Seven-game roadtrip? Does that include some NBA Cares games against local girl-scout troupes? And 30? What, points? Perhaps he meant minutes? For the record, the Cavs haven't had a roadtrip longer than 4 games all season, and Mo hasn't even sniffed 30 ppg over any 7-game stretch all year. In fact, he's only topped 30 points twice this season; it's kinda hard to average a total you don't even reach. On their recent four-game West trip, he did manage to average a nice, respectable 22.

But you know by now, Cleveland gots dat new math goings on over there. I knew I smelled delusion when I saw that comment, I had to go look it up. Nice lie nice try Rufus.

Hey Cavs, don't blame Stern, blame LeBron for taking all those shots away from Mo the other night versus the Knicks. 9 points on 3-12 shooting with 2 assists in the world's greatest arena is an All-Star? Folks, no one wants to risk seeing that kind of performance in Phoenix. Certainly not grand-chancellor Dave.

Phoenix has begun accepting trade offers for Amare Stoudemire and any other player not born in Canada. Which begs the question: since when did 35-year old matadors become untouchable cogs for building a team based on defense? Granted, I don't think they should part with Nash either. I just like pointing out how hapless the Steve Kerr reign in Arizona has been.

Elton Brand's shoulder will likely need surgery, which ends his 2008-09 campaign. That's tuff on the brother, but on the bright side, we can now ink the 76ers for a playoff spot and Andre Iguodala for a few more player-of-the-week votes.

The Magics and Bucks swapped backup guards, sending Tyronn Lue to play alongside Superman-II. As long as Mikael Pietrus stays healthy, they won't miss Keith Bogans too much. And as long as Lue can keep shooting 46% from behind the arc, this is a real good look for the Magics. Is there another (available) player around the league who is any more like Jameer Nelson than Lue? Talk about sticking with your formula. If it ain't broke...

The Bucks of course needed to fill minutes lost due to the injured Michael Redd, and Keith Bogans can...blah blah blah blah blaaah. My apologies Buck fans, I don't mean to be rude; maybe I should be more interested in who earns the right to get beat up by the Celtics/Magic/Cavawailers in the first round, but right now my ADD is kicking in.

The Catch III? Or is it IV?

2009-02-02T16:58:00.017-05:00

I can't remember when last a single play completely changed my feelings about an entire game. Up until that last drive and the great catch, this was a slightly annoying, somewhat unsatisfying game. There were officiating calls that, regardless of your leanings, had to make you cringe, a few bungled plays here and there, interspersed in a handful of tremendous plays. That play to end the first half was one for the books. To follow that lineup up the sideline with his convoy the kinda suspenseful fun you had to enjoy. Unless you were wearing red that day of course.

But Holmes' catch was indescribably sensational. Actually, Big Ben's pass was equally incredible. A perfectly-placed pass, a perfectly-caught ball, perfectly-placed feet. That was pure art.

Honestly, after Holmes came down with the ball, I jumped up and yelled at the top of my lungs. I'm pretty certain my very significant other was either embarrassed or shocked -- in that "who is this crazy person I let drive me around?" sense -- probably a little of both. I couldn't help it. I always loved the wide receiver position; that was the part of the game I liked most and the position I always wanted to play as a kid. Anytime I see a great play by a receiver, it just means that much more to me. And this...was...tremendous.

Every time they showed the replay after that, I was back to yelling: "ohhhhhh!" I think I wanted to jump thru the screen and give Holmes a pound myself. I haven't even dialed it up on youtube yet, for fear that I may bust out yelling here in the office.

Of course, I've seen dozens of tippy-toes catches over the years. I've loved every one of them. But I can't remember any that were at a bigger stage of a game. Man!

That got me to remembering one of my all-time favourite NFL-catches; actually, this may probably is my all-time favourite:

* Terrell Owens vs. Green Bay, 1998
I remember it like it was yesterday. Green Bay beating my beloved 49ers in the playoffs had become an annual ritual. Literally. I braved the beginnings of the New York blizzard of '96 to watch the game, only to have it get out of hand before I even got in front of a TV. The 1997 rematch was a beatdown so identical I had to make sure my VCR wasn't on.

And here we were again, one last, desperate, no-hope play until the clock ran out on yet another season, yet again at the hands of the Packers. Sitting on my futon couch, I leaned all the way back, put my feet up to simulate an upright fetal position, and sulked. The joy of 1995 was now about as far away a memory as breast-feeding. "Why the hell can't we beat these cheese-eating mofos?" I thought to myself as they lined up on scrimmage. The ball is snapped, and after a couple steps, quarterback Steve Young stumbles while dropping back from center. My eyes roll; sure, let's just do away with even the mere formality of a hopeless hail-mary. But Steve catches himself, keeps his feet under him, and continues to drop into the pocket. A quick bounce at the end of his drop, and he steps forward to sling the desperation pass. Ho hum. The camera pans to the end zone, and the ball disappears between two Green Bay defensive backs, who crack the red jersey in between them simultaneously. A 49er falls to the endzone turf and starts rolling around, while three Packers pace about bewildered. As was I: "wait, what's going on?" Just then, an official runs into view, with two arms raised high above his head. Wait; touchdown? Touchdown??? He caught it, he caught it! I leaped up off the coach and blared out. Oh shit! He caught it!

De-Ja-Oh-No Not Again!

2009-02-02T16:11:00.008-05:00

Lakers' Bynum to miss 8-12 weeks with MCL tear

Wow. The similarities are eerily endless. I'm sure you've heard them already. Colliding with a teammate in a loose-ball situation. Playing against Memphis on January 13th; playing in Memphis on January 31st. A knee injury halting 6 straight high-quality performances (3 double-doubles, 3 games with 9 boards); a knee injury after 5 scintillating, All-Star-caliber double-doubles. I suppose the only thing different about the two injuries is that G.W. Bush is no longer in office.

Really and truly, my heart sunk for this kid when I originally heard of and saw the play that injured him. Then it sunk again when I heard the MRI results today. Bynum, if you couldn't tell by now, is one of my favourite young ballers. During his rookie year I declared on one sports forum that the kid will one day be a beast; my opinion was summarily dissed, laughed at, and beat upon. I got counter-declarations of future beasts for everyone from Gred Oden to Hakeem Warrick to -- gasp -- Eddy Curry. Two years later, those very same guys were themselves posting about how good Bynum had become, with one in particular never failing to copyright me anytime he used 'Bynum' and 'beast' in the same sentence. In short, I'm a big fan.

I'm going to have to placate myself by watching even more Orlando Magic games -- wait, that's not really possible at this stage. Maybe I'll check on guys like Rose, Roy, Durant, and Beasley a bit more. Ahh. It's sad that I find this depressing and I'm not even a Laker fan. I can't imagine how frustrated he must feel right now. I know I'd be banging a few walls around the house. Rest up, work hard, and get well soon Drew.

Frozen Out In Minnesota

2009-01-30T08:45:00.012-05:00

So the Timberwolves players and brass are complaining about two all-star weekend snubs from their recently-reincarnated-from-the-dead team. While we're usually loathe to give extra credence to partisan howling, there may be a little validity to their claims.

No Love
First up is the lack of Love in the Rookie-Sophomore challenge -- the snub of T-Wolves forward Kevin Love. Yes, the numbers do point to a productive player; high (or is it the highest?) per-minute averages in rebounding and...uhh, wait, it's just rebounding. Well, OK. His per-minute scoring isn't too bad either, but naturally, the Wolves are conveniently neglecting just how slowly Love's NBA career started. His play in 2009 has merely subdued what was, for a long time, resounding criticism of GM McHale's draft-day trade of OJ Mayo for Love.

Quibbling over numbers aside, there is definitely one curious element of the Rookie squad selections that works as an argument for Love. Of the 9 players on the team, exactly one is a forward. There are 5 guards, 3 centers, and one forward. Huh? Rudy Fernandez is listed as a combo guard, but if you've seen him play, you can see he's more guard than forward. And if the 12-member all-star teams don't have 3 legitimate centers, how do the rooks end up with 3 for only 9 slots? Their centers aren't even of the F/C combo, Chris Bosh, Tim Duncan-breed. Greg Oden, Brook Lopez, and Marc Gasol are traditional centers in every sense. And I have the overwhelming feeling that no one in Jersey, Tennessee, Spain, or anywhere else in the world would've batted an eye if Lopez or Gasol weren't selected.

But for all of McHale-and-company's pontificating about per-minute numbers, perhaps if they played him more minutes, more folks would notice him? Not really a point, just a thought.

In any case, for all the great guards (Rose, Mayo, Westbrook, Gordon) that the rooks are fielding, the sophomore forwards are gonna have a field day scoring over those smallish guards and around those not-exactly-fleet-footed centers. I get the feeling Kevin Durant is about to make all-star Friday his personal showcase.

Maybe this (poor team construction) is why the Rookies rarely win the challenge?

Another Year Without Al
Al Jefferson should've been an all-star reserve over David West. Really, I'm not sure what much more this guy has to do to get recognized as one of the 12 best in the conference. Fitting him on the team within the format is pretty easy. Your guards are Billups and Parker, Dirk and Pau are your forwards, and Shaq is the center, leaving Brandon Roy and Big Al as the wildcards. I don't think anybody saw the selection of David West coming. Did we mention that he's currently out with back spasms, yet the Hornets have won 4 of their 5 games without him? Including 2 blowout wins over Denver and Philly? Or that it was Big Al's T-Wolves that gave N'awlins that one loss?

The good Lord knows I don't wish injury on anyone, but let's say West's back doesn't loosen up in the next couple of weeks. Granted, I know that is quite a long time to be out with mere spasms, but in that unlikely scenario, I'm hoping the NBA's commissioner-emperor-chancellor-supreme will make the right pick.

Don't get me wrong, West is a good player, though I say all-star level with a bit of reservation. But c'mon. This is Big Al we're talking about. The winters are beyond cold in Minnesota. Have a heart. Give the guy at least one weekend in Arizona.

The 2009 All-Star Reserves

2009-01-29T17:03:00.009-05:00

Yes, I'm a bit late, but as long as I ink my picks before 8pm tonight, I'm safe. Now, I could pick the bench based off my earlier picks for the starters, but that would be taking the easy way out. Every year, the fan voters make it hard(er) to pick the reserves because of an inevitable two or more questionable choices. I'll stick to the rules of: 2 guards, 2 forwards, one center, and 2 wildcards. The rules do have the extra stipulation to allow for a bit of fudging on the position choices if necessary -- otherwise known as the "don't bother trying to pick another center in the East" corollary.

East Reserves:
Guards: Devin Harris, Jameer Nelson
Forwards: Danny Granger, Paul Pierce
Center-sorta-kinda-sometimes-whenhehastobe: Chris Bosh
Wildcards: Joe Johnson, Vince Carter

Just missed out: Ray Allen/Rajon Rondo, Caron Butler/Antawn Jamison, Rashard Lewis/Hedo Turkoglu, Mo Williams, Gerald Wallace

Keep in mind, you can't take everyone. Yes, people may scoff at my two wildcard picks, but they have certainly carried their respective teams at times during this half-season. Blame the fans. I shouldn't have to be curbing my choices around the Allen Iverson selection.

West Reserves:
Guards: Brandon Roy, Kevin Durant
Forwards: Dirk Nowitzki, Pau Gasol
Center: Al Jefferson
Wildcards: Chauncey Billups, Tony Parker

Just missed out: Paul Millsap, Shaquille O'Neal, Carmelo Anthony

Again, you can't blame me. I didn't put Matadorilla Gorilla in the starting 5. Millsap especially, his 20+ player efficiency rating alone, plus what he's been doing in Carlos Boozer's absense, definitely deserves a spot. We all want to reward Shaq's fountain-of-youth resurgence, but, Al Jefferson's been a beast for far too long to not be recognized.

For reference's sake, here are the starters chosen by those wonderfully-impartial fans:

East: Allen Iverson, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, Kevin Garnett, Dwight Howard

West: Kobe Bryant, Chris Paul, Tim Duncan, Amare Stoudamire, Yao Ming

Renaissance Men

2009-01-28T00:50:00.006-05:00

Some slowly developing stories in the NBA concern a pair of teams that have made significant changes, and are now seeing their fortunes turn around and benefits being reaped. Do you know the team with the best record in the NBA so far in 2009? Nope, not them. Nope, try again.

It's the 9-2 Minnesota Timberwolves. Yes, you read that right. Come on, show of hands, who didn't think that McHale coming down from the front office wasn't Isiah circa 2007 deja vu? Who? Come on, keep 'em up. Granted, they have been playing a lot of middling competition (Clippers, Grizz, Warriors, Thunder, Phoenix Suns), and I'm betting the next month won't look like the current one (Lakers twice, Celtics, Blazers, Jazz, Hornets, etc). But it wasn't too long ago when the Wolves looked like the Dallas Academy might give them problems, so, improvement is indeed improvement.

The other renaissance team, the Charlotte Hornets -- uhh, Bobcats. (How can anyone be expected to get used to that name?) As I write this blog, they are giving the West-leading Lakers all they can handle and a bit more -- 5 point lead with 2 minutes to go.

Kevin McHale and Larry Brown. A couple of guys at the beginning of the season you just figured had no idea what they were doing, in the midst of reviving their images and perhaps their careers.

Wow! Update on the Lakers-Horn--uh, Bobcats, game. Into OT, and in the first two minutes, it's been the Kobe and Andrew show. The sequence reads like this: Bynum wins tap, Kobe makes jumper, Bynum blocks shot, Kobe rebounds, throws ahead to Bynum for dunk. After another Bynum board and a Kobe miss, Bynum blocks another shot, Kobe rebounds again, Kobe converts a layup. That's what you call a 2-man game. And then...Kobe Bryant commits his sixth foul?!? When was the last time you ever heard of Kobe fouling out of a close game? Or anyone of his caliber for that matter? The 2nd overtime without Kobe, this oughta be interesting. Very interesting.

Well, not quite interesting. More like predictable. Valiantly, the Lakers tried to depend on Bynum for the better part of the session, but eventually the loss of their ace-in-the-hole, along with Gasol and Jordan Farmar coming up dry tonight, did the Western Conference leaders in. Methinks Kobe Bryant just earned a few more MVP votes tonight (I mean, was that Cleveland's Mo Williams with 42 points?).

But yes, for the record, LeBron still leads the MVP race by far. Seeing the Lakers implode though made the view of the race a little fuzzier.

Dallas vs. Covenant: Ineptitude, or Just Plain Rude?

2009-01-27T00:01:00.005-05:00

So the sports world is awash in dissecting the 100-0 girls high school game that took place last week in Texas between Covenant Christian School and Dallas Academy. I'll dispense with all the backstory, as I'm sure you've either heard it or have the internet to be able to read about it. You didn't come here the get the run-of-the-mill reporting did you?

The question is, was this a case of bad sportsmanship, or just an unavoidable beatdown by an overmatched opponent? Well, the view from Mars seems to be pointing to a growing mountain of evidence to the former. The first damning piece of evidence I read was from a parent, who stated that the Covenant girls were using a full-court press and jacking up threes for most of the game, until they reached the century mark. Hmm. A full-court press in a blowout is, obviously, about as sportsmanlike as kicking an unconscious opponent in the head for a half-hour. 1 + 1 = 2, and full-court-press + blowout = bad sportsmanship. This is not up for debate.

However, the now-fired Covenant coach has apparently disputed the claim that he was using a full-court press throughout the game; in fact, he says that once the game reached 25-0 in the first 3 minutes, he got his players to lay off, play a 2-3 zone, and emptied his bench for the remainder of the game. All ostensibly actions that are well within honourable measures at respecting the game.

But, alas, the plot thickens. At least one Dallas coach responded to that claim to say that, while Covenant did abandon the full-court press, they merely returned to an "alternate press later in the game". While I'm not sure what exactly an "alternate" press is or why he'd needlessly use such an ambiguous word, we'll have to nevertheless allow this as evidence for the prosecution.

But the final bit of evidence, sadly, comes from the defense. The Covenant coach, in defending his actions, released a quarter-by-quarter box score: 35-24-29-12.

Does anyone see a problem here? Let's go back to the coach's argument that he backed off after the score reached 25-0. Hmm. So let's see, you played the same way for the remainder of the game, thru the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th quarters, and while you racked up 24 and 29 points in the middle 2 quarters, you somehow managed a mere 12 fourth-quarter points? The 12 points which just, by a randomly amazing coincidence, took you right up to the century mark?

Riiiiight. My finely-tuned bullshitometer just blew a fuse.

Mars All-Star Team starters

2009-01-23T01:42:00.005-05:00

Now that Earth's voters have spoken, here's how the Martian contingent voted. Quick side-note: a certain Yahoo sports blogger presented his All-Star team selections structured as C-PF-SF-SG-G, instead of the All-Star vote's format of 2 guards, 2 forwards, and 1 center. Way to stick to the script. You just picked your half-season All-NBA team, not an All-Star Team. Hello, Mars to Dwyer?

Anyways:

West:
Yao Ming
Tim Duncan
Dirk Nowitzki
Kobe Bryant
Chris Paul

East:
Dwight Howard
Devin Harris
Dwayne Wade
Lebron James
Chris Bosh

* Dirk over Amare: Dirk is way more valuable and disappears much less often than Magilla Gorilla.

* Harris over A.I.: Do I even need to bother explaining this one?

* Harris over Jameer Nelson over A.I.: Jameer has been solid lately, but Harris was simply dominating over the first 2 months of the season. 2 months is better than 1.

* Bosh over Garnett: it's close, very, very close. Either player is a fine selection.

All things considered, the fans did a pretty decent job with the selections, the Yi Jianlian scare notwithstanding.

Now onto the benches in a later post; there's where it really gets to be fun.

Disney Deep-Freeze; Crisis Averted; McWho?

2009-01-23T01:27:00.002-05:00

I hear the temperature dropped into the 40s and 30s for most of Florida today. Could that explain the Magic's brickish shooting? Season lows in pts/fg%/assists/buckets in the 1st half? (well, I suppose the last 3 naturally go hand in hand). Season low 54 thru 3 quarters, before “erupting” for 26 4th-quarter points. The Celts were doing a decent job on defense, yea, but the Disneys missed a helluvalotta chippies and open jumpers.

The way they've been torching the league lately, and the fact that they haven't played since Sunday, they were due for a bad one. Don’t think I’m not giving Boston their due by the way, especially the way they fought off the Magician’s run in the fourth quarter.

I sure hope, for their sakes, that the teams of the East see the writing on the wall and start looking for centers who can at least dream of competing with Superman 2.0. In the West you have Bynum, Oden, Gasol (uh, the younger one) etc, young guys who can body up with Howard, and keep him somewhat honest on offense too, for the foreseeable future. The East? Ummm. Mars to GMs: work some magic soon, or you are in for a long decade. A very long decade.

So the fan-vote polls closed with Yi Jianlian still within 200,000 votes of making the all-star game. I'll say it again; this is dangerously close to being a complete mockery of the system. It was bad enough in years past to have injured stars (T-Mac, Shaq) voted in, but at least those stars have a history of all-star caliber play. Is it so far-fetched to imagine that, with another year or two of exposure with the Nets, a few more minutes per game and a little improvement to his skills, Yi could pick up those middling 200k? Weighted voting humans, weighted voting. Please, before it's too late.

And now a quote from the estimable Mr. Shaquille O’Neal on Supe Version 2: "He's a good player, but everything he's done I've invented, so I'm not impressed," O'Neal said. "For me to get my eyes wide open about another big man, he'll have to do something that I haven't seen before or something that I haven't invented. Everything that he's done, I've invented it." Really? My memory must be a bit fuzzy; would you mind pointing me to the dunk contest you won? Or remind me when it was that you started to develop an actual face-up jump shot? Come now Shaq, you were just playing right? You didn’t mean to sound like such a past-your-prime curmudgeon hater here, right? Right?

Jay McGwire has come out to tell the world that he started his older brother Mark on steroids back in 1994. Umm, who? When? Did HGH even exist then? We've had 8 world champs, 3 inaugurations, 2 wars, and a partridge in a pear tree in the time since McGwire had any relevance. Do people purposely wait until they've been relegated to the scrap heap to dredge up old crap no one cares about anymore? Does anybody really still care? Hey Jay, does the phrase "Senate hearing" mean anything to you? Says the younger bro: “I want Mark to live in truth to see the light, to come to repentance so he can live in freedom — which is the only way to live.” I suppose the fact that the entire publishing world has to date collectively yawned on the book you’re hawking is just a random coincidence, eh. Ohh yea, there’s living in truth for ya.

With family like that……I’m gonna call my mom tomorrow and thank her for never giving me the sibling I always wanted.

I suppose this is the chickens coming home for the MLB's sweeping the issue under the rug for so long. I fully expect Sammy Sosa's as-yet-unborn son to level an accusation at his popa at his college graduation.

Memphis fired Coach Iavaroni today. I was inclined to say "why now?" until I remember they've been taking beat downs from everybody lately. E-vry-bo-dy.

Lakers vs. Wizards on national TV? There's a decision the off-season schedule-makers wish they could have for a do-over.

The Setting Suns; Bynum Breaks Out; A New Jordan

2009-01-22T01:29:00.007-05:00

* Good win by the Knicks? Hitting rock-bottom by the Suns? A little of both? My coworker, a Suns fan, went to the game; can't wait to hear his take. I'm predicting it'll need it's own post. By the way, have I mentioned lately how bad the Suns defense is? Are there two any more historically-inept defenders than Nash and Amaré? Did you ever notice that Amaré rhymes with "olé!"?

* Congrats to my boy Andrew Bynum for a career night, if even at the expense of the creaky-clippers (no Camby, no Kaman, no problem?). 25 pts, 10 boards -- at half-time, and 42 and 15 for the game. It was good to see him finally hit the boards after a loooong absence. He and DeAndre Jordan (25/12) were really going at it. Speaking of which, can Mike Dumbleavy find some minutes for this kid, regardless of how much Camby or Kaman plays, so he can develop? 17 minutes total in November? 5 garbage-time games in December? Hello, your damn team ain't going a damn place anyway. You got an absolute steal in the draft, now how about you let him grow with some quality minutes instead of leaving him to rot on the bench.

The Lakers were trying so desperately hard in the 4th quarter to get Bynum to the 40-point plateau, they put the outcome of the game as a complete afterthought. Even after the Clips went on an 11-0 run to get the game within reach, with the Lakers going nearly 7 minutes without a bucket, Kobe and crew stubbornly, predictably, kept trying to force the ball into the post to get Drew that last score. It was kinda hilarious actually; I've never seen a team so wholly dismissive of the mere possibility of their opponent winning the game. Once they built the big lead, it was like an exhibition game or summer-league scrimmage. Normally you'd say something like "my how the Clips have fallen" if not for the fact that they've been down here since, since, well, the beginning of time.

And what about Kobe Bean lately, 10, 11, 12 and 12 assists in their last four games. Some serious distributing going on there for an SG. And this week's inaugural Manned-Up Award for popping a dislocated finger back into place and playing on. That is damn-near sick. Lucky in a sense for him that he keeps injuring the fingers on the other end of the hand. Ain't no shooting with a jacked-up middle-finger, don't care who you are. But respect for the toughness nonetheless.

(And no, I don't actually plan on giving out a manned-up award with any regularity, or at any time in the future for that matter.)

* GSW vs OKC, two not-so-good teams naturally ended up playing a decent game. Looked like good ole Jamal Crawford had the game won with a shot with 1.6s left...until Jeff Green hits a turn-around buzzer-beater. Now, about Jamal's shot, would Coach Nelson mind explaining to me the strategy behind forcing your team to run the ball the length of the court with 5 seconds on the clock when you have 3 timeouts burning a hole in your pocket?? The fact that it turned out both OK (go-ahead shot) and not-so-OK (a bit too much time left on the clock) makes it somewhat debatable to second-guess. But it just seems a bit, umm, risky? Not that I'm surprised by his, umm, alternative approach to coaching, but you can't help but say "huh?" every time you see something outrageous. I guess I'm just too logical and rigid with my call-timeout, move-ball-to-halfcourt, set-up-a-play folly.

* Just an awful, awful game by the Mavericks tonight. Only the Lord knows why I decided to waste my latest ESPN Streak on them. Oh wait, that's right; silly me thought that, with Andrew Bogut out, the Mavs might, oh, I dunno, try taking the ball to the rim? Anyways, they gave up 42 second-quarter points, and then backed it up by enduring the wrong end of a 30-9 run in the 3rd quarter. One minute, it was 67-all and the game was looking like fun; next thing you know, it's 97-76, and I'm focusing on making note of just how bad the Bucks announcers are. They just looked lost, utterly, hopelessly lost, for however long that run was. Exactly how many open looks does a guy like Michael Redd get before you realize not to leave him for a driver? But hey, it's just one game, I suppose.

The Solution to Fan Voting: Electoral College!

2009-01-20T16:08:00.022-05:00

Eureka, a brainstorm! A fantastic idea if I may be so inclined to say. In the real world, thousands of voters don't like it, thousands more don't trust it, and some struggle to understand it, but let's bring the electoral college to fan voting! To sum, let's review some of the recent tragedies of fan voting:

* Yi Jianlian (3rd-leading vote-getter among East forwards in the 2009 NBA All-Star game fan vote). Early returns made this a mildly disturbing development, with LeBron James and Kevin Garnett enjoying a decent margin over the 3rd-place Yi, but now this is getting dangerously ridiculous. The latest returns have Yi trailing Garnett by less than 200,000 votes...and, apparently, gaining. To make matters worse, superstud Chris Bosh is being lapped. This is already a travesty, and though I can't think of an adequate-enough word to describe the scenario should Yi overtake KG, I'll be sure to consult my thesaurus by time the NBA announces the final results. We've begrudgingly accepted the 2-billion-strong China voting bloc when it came to a skilled, performing, popular player like Yao Ming. But Yi? C'mon people, we have to draw the line somewhere.

* Rudy Fernandez (final participant in 2009 dunk contest). Naturally this is all conjecture and prognosis, but Rudy couldn't have been a worse pick out of the three possible finalists (over Joe Alexander and Russell Westbrook). 'Brook for his size has been dunking on people with amazing regularity ever since college, and somehow you trust that he is just a silly enough character to come up with an imaginative dunk or two. Alexander's resume includes a college dunk contest where he imitated the Vince Carter arm-in-the-cookie-jar with ease. Let me reiterate: he was in college at the time. Neither was any match for the all-of-Spain voting bloc. Rudy? Well, he's known for converting alley-oops with regularity...and boring stylistic monotony. If he does a single dunk that isn't worthy of a bathroom break I'll be duly surprised.

* Montreal Quebecians (4 starters from a 4th-place team). Even after adjusting for the automated-vote fraud issue, the Canadians still managed to place 4 starters in the game, whereas conference-leading Boston and San Jose have a combined none? Admittedly, I follow hockey from afar, and mostly only to see how low the Islanders have sunk and how the playoffs are going, but I don't think I need an NHL PH'D to see something is incredibly amiss.

So how do we fix these homeristic injustices? Enter the electoral college and weighted voting. No matter if all 2 billion Chinese voted for Sun Yue (only a minor tragic downgrade from the selection of Yi Jianlian), the 500 electoral votes he'd secure would be no match for Timmy Fundamental's 10,000 electoral votes from the rest of Earth's territories.

Seriously, I haven't worked out the math on the populations and percentages, but this needs to be instituted like yesterday. 10 pts and 6 boards for a losing team does not challenge 16/9 for a best-29-game-start-in-league-history contender -- and certainly doesn't belong in the same sentence as "all-star".

Disclaimer: no Chinese, Spanish, or Quebeckians were insulted at any time during this post.

Incidentally, the dunk contest goes thru natural peaks and valleys. I don't know why people keep expecting it to live up to the greats year-in year-out. Just watch some clips of the best dunks, and you'll invariably hear Magic Johnson, Kenny Smith, or another announcer proclaiming "the dunk contest is back!" I don't know why people are surprised that it goes away time and again. There's but so much magic and originality the same people can create in a half-second of air-time. Vince Carter (2000), Jason Richardson (2003), Dwight Howard (2008); don't expect so much year after year. It's unlikely if not impossible to keep up such a high standard. You need fresh talent, progress in athleticism, and, well, just time. I'll be very surprised if it lives up to the hype this year, or any time before, say, LeBron's exodus from Cleveland (sorry Cavs fans, I'm just messing with ya, please put down the bat). Which means that, in the unlikely event that it does meet the hype, I'll enjoy it a lot more than you Earthlings will. But if it doesn't...woe be unto you.

Big Matchup Weekend

2009-01-20T14:12:00.008-05:00

Seems like we had a flurry of big matchups this past weekend; might as well just lump them all together into one superflurrious blog. (What? Yes it is, look it up, it's in the Martian Abridged Wordionary).

Friday, January 16th

* Magic @ Lakers

* Hornets @ Cavs - I mean, this is a big matchup, isn't it? The Hornets are Conference-title worthy contenders, aren't they? Pfff. Their 3rd-best player is a disappearing violet (Peja), their center is an offensive liability, their bench is as thin as the paper it looks bad on. Am I wrong or is David West their only semblance of what might be mistaken for an inside presence? Chris Paul is truly a wizard, his play casting spells over some to make them believe his team is a top contender, his steals dizzying others into believing he is a strong all-around defender. Methinks James Posey could've chosen better. OK ok, I shouldn't be so hard on the Hornets; Paul and West are truly among the best in the league...I think this is a knee-jerk reaction to enduring their announcers. Please forgive me buzzers.

But with the slew of injuries that've hit them lately, their hold on a playoff position is about to become real, real shaky over the foreseeable future.

Saturday, January 17th

* Magic @ Nuggets - I fully expected a bit of a letdown from the Magic men this game. Coming off a hard-fought win vs. the Lake-show less than 24 hours ago, traveling to the Mile High City and its famously-thin air, a bit of sluggishness might've been understandable. No such luck for Chauncey and crew. After playing a close first half, the Magic laid some smack down in the 2nd half, showing both resolve and excellent conditioning.

* Hornets @ Pistons - You know, if you combined these two rosters, you might have a pretty good team. Rasheed, West, and Prince up front, CP3 and Butler/Stuckey at guard (with all due respect to the AI lovers, we've already seen what a nightmare two diminutive guards creates for a team's defense). Then you have scorers like AI, Hamilton, and Peja coming in off the bench, bruisers like Chandler, McDyess and Maxiell, and specialists like Posey and...and...well, Posey. OK, well, maybe not quite a title-contender, but it'd definitely be stronger than what either team is working with right now. Just flip a coin to see which city loses out and gets to start over with a bunch of draft picks. Or maybe they could share. New Orleans is used to sharing.

These two teams generate way more hope and print than their rosters would seem to dictate.

Sunday

* Heat @ Thunder - What, a matchup of 2 of the 4 non-plural teams in the league isn't noteworthy? OK OK, I kid I kid. Sunday belongs to the NFL. Speaking of which, parity or no parity, there is something intrinsically wrong with a 9-7 team in the Super Bowl. Midnight is supposed to strike sometime before the big game. This is sports dammit, and there are rules to be followed. Kinda like the rule that says self-praise will usually lead you to embarrassment and humility...

Monday

* Suns @ Celtics - Following Sunday’s win over the Toronto Raptors, Amare’ Stoudemire, who had 31 points announced, “I’m about to get my gorilla game on”. Next game: 3 points, 0-7 shooting, 1 rebound, 4 turnovers, 1 block -- in 30 minutes.

Talk about your unintentional comedy. Does the Mike & Mike Show on ESPN Radio still give out the Just Shut Up award? Every time I look at STAT's stat line I burst out laughing. You can't make this stuff up.

* Cavs @ Lakers - Like two heavyweights slugging it out in the late rounds, the 4th quarter was definitely the most intriguing aspect of this game. Big run by the Lakers to put the game out of reach -- followed by a big run by the Cavs to render the first run obsolete -- followed by another run by the Lakers to clamp the door shut. Nice end to an intriguing weekend.

As a side-thought, what's up with my boy Andrew Bynum trading boards for scores? I suppose as long as he's playing good D, boxing out (Gasol and Odom seem to be picking up the loosies that Andrew's stopped getting to), and those defensive efficiency numbers stay looking good, it's not a problem. That is unless Andrew's on your fantasy team or something. Then you're free to curse and carry on smartly.

Chauncey for MVP? Shaq for All-Star?

2009-01-16T17:30:00.001-05:00

Some days ago, someone I know brought up the case of Chauncey Billups to be part of the MVP discussion. Now that we know Denver will be without Carmella for a long stretch, myself and others decided this was a great time to use as a measuring stick for his candidacy. After seeing Denver outlast Phoenix last night, I was all prepared to sign off on putting him into the debate -- that is until I remembered that Phoenix was without Shaq last night.

So, since Anthonia went down, the Nuggets have beaten:

the aforementioned Shaq-less Suns

Dallas, who's in the midst of a losing streak which includes a loss to the Kings and a beatdown by Memphis

Miami

It's not a bad stretch, but it doesn't really excite me either, so I'm gonna reserve judgment. If Denver holds their own over the next 2 weeks, with games against Orlando, Houston, Utah, and New Orleans, and beat the other teams they're supposed to beat, I promise to come back and declare Chauncey fit for MVP consideration.

You must always, as many Caribbeans like to say, "give jack he jacket" (give credit where it is due). So without further ado, I must give it up to Mr. Shaquille O'Neal for his play lately, for turning back the hands of time. Admittedly, I haven't watched much of the Suns this year, but one of my coworkers is a huge Suns fan, and he's proven to be a pretty knowledgable and non-shemotional fan at that. (For starters, he's one of the few people that remember that Steph Marbury actually played pretty well for Phoenix, regardless of how people wish to twist his time there).

Anyways, between looking at the raw numbers -- 7 double-doubles in last 10 games is putting in work, no matter how you frame it -- and listening to my coworker and others, I'm duly impressed. I'll sign up for saying Shaq is earning a spot on the All-Star team. I never thought I'd be saying that again without stepping into a DeLorean.

However, I'd be remisce if I didn't point out a couple things:

I said before the season that there are certain players who just need to be given occasional time off, based on the amount of time they've missed in the past few seasons. Shaq was the first, along with Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady. Just go ahead and work out a schedule for them to take games off occasionally, because they are going to miss games regardless. At least this way you can be pro-active and try to prevent the kinds of repetitive-stress injuries their bodies seem to keep succumbing to. Nice to see at least Phoenix "listened" to me.

Phoenix is still not a top contender for a title. I bet you didn't know that they are playing worse defense -- putting up poorer defensive efficiency numbers -- than at any point during the Mike D'Antoni era? I bet you didn't.

In case you're wondering why I have been butchering Carmella Anthonia's name, allow me to clarify: when you punch-and-run, you get a girl's name. Man Law.

Five hours until the Magic play the Lakers. Tick-tock-tick-tock. I am such a junkie.

Refs Screw Up Another Lakers/Spurs Classic

2009-01-15T01:46:00.003-05:00

The Lakers and Spurs took part in a great, great game last night, only to have it marred by a string of poor officiating calls down the stretch. The first was the timeout awarded to Tim Duncan during a scrum while the ball was still lose and -- as I remember it -- under Timmy's back. Slightly worse was the 2nd call, a questionable foul call against Derek Fisher on Roger Mason. Perhaps the karma gods were at play there (nearly 5 years after Fisher received a non-call for the famous bump on Brent Barry in the playoffs). In any case, kudos to Mason for his spot-on imitation of the Dwyane Wade collapse-to-floor-when-defender-enters-personal-space signature move. Earning trips to the free throw line at an arena near you.

But the final (whistle-)blow was the horrific call on Trevor Ariza's drive. Inexcusable. Calling a foul on Ginobili, though the right call, would've been surprising. Pocketing their whistle on a late-game drive with contact would've at least had precedent. But a travel call on what was clearly a two-step drive? And barely even 2 steps? Bad, bad, bad official. And I don't want to hear the explanation that Ariza's two steps were awkward; if driving awkwardly fooled officials into making traveling calls, Manu Ginobili wouldn't have taken an unwhistled layup in 6 years.

In any case, this game featured a pair of normally-unsung players: the Spur's Roger Mason and Josh Powell of the Lakers. Mason looks deadly from beyond the arc, and -- phantom foul notwithstanding -- made a nice play to put in the game-tying shot. That's two late-game clutch plays this season by my woefully-poor count (game-winner vs. Phoenix). Nice start to his new team. And Josh Powell is pretty impressive with his mid-range game. Watching him I kept saying to myself: Ronny Turia-who? Powell isn't quite the rebounder that Ronny is, and doesn't quite have that boundless energy, but he seems to be in the same neighbourhood defensively and has a much better looking shot. Nice off-season pickups for both teams.

The Spurs looked stronger than I'd imagined they would have at this point in the year. Between Mason, George Hill, and Matt Bonner, they've got a few guys to help bring down that gray-beard age average the Spurs have been sporting in the past couple years. Ginobili looks healthy as well. But at the same time, we have to remember that the Lakers are still missing 3 regulars, and don't have a single backup point guard. So naturally we have to hold off on annointing one team fit to compete with another when one is missing 33% of its regular rotation.

OK, so -- almost too predictably -- the Sixers are playing better ball with Elton Brand out. 8-6 record without him, if you stretch to include the game in which he was injured. But more importantly, 5 straight wins, and not just lucky or close wins over weak foes. They handly took care of Portland, Houston, and Atlanta during this latest stretch. Running more, putting up higher numbers on offense, doing everything that every two-bit pundit on the net foresaw they would do.

But now Brand is back practicing, and could return to game action by this weekend. How is this team going to incorporate Elton's skillset and not lose their identity? I can't say I have an answer. And more importantly, something tells me the Sixers coaching staff doesn't have a clearcut answer either. Poor Phill...wait a second -- Phillies, Eagles, Soul...ok, scratch that "poor Philly talk".

It's still 2 days away, but I can't wait to see the matchup between the Lakers and the Magic. I admit, I love watching both these teams play, and catch them whenever I can. But I'll be watching my two favourite picks for center-beasts of the future (Dwight Howard and Andrew Bynum) go head-to-head. I'd just like to point that I predicted, way back in their rookie years, both each of these players would become dominant centers -- I have the posts to prove it. It hasn't quite happened yet, but they are obviously on their way. Both started off this year a bit slowly but have been turning it on lately. And the Magic in particular, for a young team, is scary-good. Congrats on breaking the NBA record for 3-pointers the other night by the way. Look at those young kids go.

I just snicker when I see people proclaim "Boston is back" after two nail-biting victories over Toronto. Oh yea, there's a powerhouse team for you. And now that they cruised over the Nets in the first segment of another home-and-home, I'm sure we'll be hearing more of the same. No matter; when they get back to playing stronger teams, we'll see what becomes of them. I fully expect them to make a change or two by the trading deadline to bolster their team, because right now their bench is weaker than weak. Lest we forget, Sam Cassell is more coach than player these days, James Posey is down in the Bayou, and P.J. Brown is in the old-folks home (ok ok, that was cruel; he's retired; what do you want from me, he's still that same guy that flipped Charlie Ward over his back). On the off chance they can't do anything to improve their bench, I'll just state it from now: they're not making a return trip to the Finals.

I just checked the schedule; the Celts travel to Orlando next week Thursday. There's another game I'll be circling on my calendar and setting my cellphone on silent for.

Hornets fall back to Earth; Celts Down, Magic Up; Drunk Chuck

2009-01-13T12:21:00.006-05:00

Re: The Hornets: so it is written, so it is done -- or however that saying goes. Flatten, run over, beat down by the Jazz, a night after we were hearing all about their new-found candidacy for the Western Conference crown. Then they followed that up days later by losing to...the Knicks. New Orleans, as they come and go with the esteemable Chris Paul, are certainly a top-10 team; but just as surely, they are not a top contender. Question: has there been a Peja Stojakovic sighting lately? He kinda reminds me of a poor man's Hedo Turkoglu, minus all the game-breaking ability, clutch shooting, ball-handling, decision-making or rebounding skills.

The Celtics: ok, I watched -- at least the 2nd half -- of the hame game against Toronto, and I think I'm ready to render an opinion on their swoon. Ok, more like a guess, but anyways: where's their offense coming from? You've got the big 3, Rondo on an occasional night, and...who? I've been hearing the Marbury rumours, and naturally all of the Starbury detractors are falling all over themselves to say how he will destroy the team, but they need some help off the bench, and fast. These cats are going to burn out with the way the bench is being outscored night in night out. When your bench is outscored by the likes of Roko Ukic, you've got issues. Even in blowouts the subs barely score like the opposition.

I'd be remisce if I didn't at least mention Charles Barkley. I guess he's still struggling with whether he's a role model for the younger players....see DWI re: Antoine Walker and then Jason Richardson. Seriously though, DWI is no laughing matter, and that's not just a sappy public service announcement. Couple years ago, I did a month of grand jury duty and lost count of the dizzying numbers of repeat, felony, DWIs we passed indictments for. I've seen people die and friends go to jail over drinking and driving. The culture of drinking in this world needs to completely change; all these harsher penalties and what not isn't going to change a damn thing. Partying and drinking is like tea and water to too many people.

Anyways, nice going Chuck. That sure is gubernatorial-level behaviour you got going on there.

The home-and-home series against the Orlando Magic was supposed to be the Hawks' opportunity to formally announce their contention for the Southeast Division's crown. Instead, it became one 96-minute-long definitive statement by the Magic that the division belongs to them and them alone.

For the second straight game, Orlando jumped all over the Hawks early, but this time there would be no comeback, no answers for the Hawks. The wide final margin of 34 points doesn't even relay how one-sided that game was. 43-18 early, 71-33 at the half, and up to 101-51 at one point. If the NBA had a mercy rule, they'd have never played the 2nd half. And what's become of Joe Johnson? Followed up that 13 point clunker vs. the Nets with games of 14, 13, 11, and 11? Shooting a solid 34% for 2009, after shooting over 45% for the first 2 months of the season. I don't think I can blame New Year's Eve hangover anymore.

Celtics Swoon; Hornet High; Stuck On Stuckey

2009-01-07T14:59:00.003-05:00

The Celtics are certainly an enigma. While you can understand the Cavs taking a step back with Big Z on the shelf.....or the Lakers losing momentum last night having to replace Odom's minutes with long games from Kobe/Gasol/Fisher (an abnormal 42 minutes each) and a Josh Powell sighting (!!), what exactly is the Celtics' story? Their "team injury" page is completely blank. Strange, strange indeed. I hear they're coming apart late in games, with a bit of in-fighting, etc. I'm sure they'll get it together eventually, but I'm gonna have to catch (endure) a game or two of them to see what the deal is.

I see that the aftermath of the Hornets victory has the pundits all proclaiming that the Hornets proved (to others and themselves) that they can compete with the Lakers.....meanwhile I hear none of them bothering to mention that the Hornets grabbed control early in the 4th quarter vs. a Lakers 2nd unit that was missing 3 regulars (Lamar Odom, Luke Walton, and Jordan Farmer)same way no one seemed to notice that Peja was missing from their previous meeting. Great 4th quarter by the Hornets, especially David West, but ummm let's not get too carried away on that one 6-minute stretch.

I read a story couple days back about how the Pistons have been playing better ball ever since inserting Rodney Stuckey into the starting lineup. My question is: it took Coach Curry a whole month after Billups left to realize Stuckey should be next in line? Sad, sad, sad.

Hawks vs. Nets - January 2, 2009

2009-01-03T15:59:00.000-05:00

So I was in the house for the first time in a while, and I lucked out and got a good game out of it. Some random thoughts:

Awful first-half. This early-season home funk the Nets are in makes no sense, and I was wondering (hoping) they'd be breaking out of it. Thru 24 minutes it didn't look too good.

I saw the final play of the half coming a mile away, before it even happened. You could just tell something bad was bound to happen. Inbound to Brook Lopez (yea, he's at the top of the list of Nets playmakers), turn, dribble, fumble ball away, Hawks grab the ball and heave a desperation shot at the buzzer -- bottom net. Lead balloons to 20 points.

11-year old boy sings "Who's Loving You" and blows the arena away. The other two girls in the Star Search contest (this was supposedly the semi-final) didn't stand a ghost of a chance. Damn I wish I caught his name:

Couple days ago, the Hawks coach and Joe Johnson (one of my favourite players) himself remarked that Joe had elevated to the stratosphere of NBA stars, up in the penthouse with LeBron, Kobe, Wade, etc. Then he proceeds to put up an invisible 13 points on 5-16 shooting, getting a potential game-winner at the end of the 4th stuffed by Devin Harris in the process. Self-praise is not a recommendation my yute:

-- insert clip of dev harris rejecting joe johnson --

Carter could not make a layup. Never seen anything like it before. 5-7 from 3pt range, 1-11 everywhere else. I'm guessing he and Joe Johnson partied at the same spot on New Year's Eve. Just a thought.

There were about 50 potential game-ending plays, and I got video of every bumbling one of the 800. It's amazing I didn't give up trying to record after the first 7999 mangled shots. But then...

That was one helluva play to end the game. I'm officially putting Vince Carter on the short list of players who you want with the ball for a last shot. Seriously. Do a youtube search for "Vince Carter game winner", pack a lunch, and check 'em out. For everything people fault the guy for, he has a knack for putting it in the net when the game's on the line. Give jack he jacket:

NBA -- Rating the announcers

2008-12-07T16:33:00.001-05:00

So now that I have league pass (more cheers) and have been listening to NBA broadcasts around the league, the first thing that jumped out at me was the differing quality of the team's in-game announcers, the play-by-play and color commentators. Simply put, some of them are ready for prime-time, up to the quality TNT broadcasts (I always enjoy TNT's announcers), and some are just horrible. I started keeping a list, if only to save myself from the pain of some of the babblers and ramblers out there, but a few stick out in my mind.

The Ugly:

* Hornets: I don't know if I'll ever listen to a N'awlins home broadcast ever again. These guys take homerism to unbelievable levels. You could go an entire game without hearing one substantial remark about the opponent or their play. And the way they cover some plays, you're left to wonder which game they're watching. Ball thrown out of bounds? Must've been tipped. Foul by Chandler? Inconceivable. Chris Paul could defend Deron Williams by beating him in the head with a club and these guys would look for an offensive foul. The color commentator actually once took the time to pontificate about his belief that Kobe orchestrated the great Lakers breakup of 2004. I had to turn and check my calendar -- yup, it's still 2008. The word "Colorado" never turned up but I'm assuming I simply missed it when I went for a bathroom break. You usually have to go to a web forum to hear that level of ancient overt man-hating. As a matter of fact, that's the only place I want to go to hear it. I'd put these two on mute if they were commentating the basketball scenes in an episode of The Fresh Prince.

The Bad:

* Jazz, Nuggets, Celtics: Nearly as high on the homerism scale as the Hornets, except they actually watch the game that's transpiring in real life instead of the one being fed thru their rose-coloured glasses. You won't hear anything substantial about the opponent, but you also won't hear them blame a cross-wind for one of their players dribbling the ball off his foot during warmups. I might listen to their broadcasts again, but only after getting myself into the same mindset I'd use to watch Dumb & Dumberer, Step Brothers, or Fox News Network.

The Good:

* Grizzlies, Magic, Lakers: These broadcasters are like a breath of fresh air. The fans in those cities will actually hear something about both teams. It's really an amazing concept: to talk about the opponent. Their tendencies. Their good players. How they've been playing lately. How they're playing tonight -- good or bad. Plays they like to run. The fact that the opponent made a good play or that a player from the home team actually took four steps on the way to the rim. Beyond just hearing a fair, intelligent broadcast, you'll undoubtably learn a tidbit or two about the opponent by the end of the night. These guys realize they have 82 games to talk about the home team, that breaking a nightly monotony with facts about the opponent is actually good broadcasting.

Don't misunderstand, I expect a certain amount of hometown favouritism from the commentators. They shouldn't be working for that team if the aren't leaning their broadcast towards them. But there is a point at which favouritism becomes cheerleading. And a point at which cheerleading crosses the line into homerism.

Then there's a line wayyy far off in the distance, just past the horizon, a zip code reserved only for the Hornets broadcast. God, are they awful.

NBA League Pass -- It's Fantastic!!!

2008-11-07T15:28:00.001-05:00

OK, it's all over. I just found out about -- and almost immediately signed up for -- NBA Leauge Pass Broadband. Quick backstory: we don't have cable, dish, or any other traditional TV subscription up here on Mars. So up till now I've been forced to catch sports a couple times a week at bars, friend's houses, ESPN360, etc. No mo'.

Unless I'm mistaken, the NBA is the first league to have a broadband-only service for TV-challenged losers like myself. MLB maybe? In any case, bless you NBA.

Jeter Overrated?; Shaq Over-Exposed

2008-06-25T21:35:00.002-04:00

There's been a lot going on in sports that have been on my mind -- which is what finally spurred me to create a blog. So, just to get caught up, I'll just throw out some random thoughts....

Read an article on ESPN -- or was it Yahoo? -- listing the Most Overpaid MLB Players. One of the leading names was Derek Jeter. And the reason? Because he's (supposedly) having a down year offensively. Now, if you read my Intro blog post, you'll remember me calling 75% of sports writers idiots. Well, here's one prime example.

Yes, if you simply went trolling about the internet looking at stats, you might see Jeter's .278 average and think he's fallen way off offensively. That of course would make you an idiot. Look at Jeter's game log; you'll notice that on May 20th he was batting .312, then you'll see his batting average plummet over the next 2 weeks. What's so significant about May 20th? He got hit by a pitch on his hand. The question is, why do I know this and a paid sports writer doesn't?? But I guess the health of your hands and batting have nothing to do with each other.

Memo to Shaq: didn't you divorce your wife because she was hiding money from you?

Memo to Shaq: fun is fun, battling is battling, but the implication that you thinking about a next man tasting your ass is pretty gay. Please do keep the salad-tossing fantasies to yourself. You could've just said "...from first to last place, Kobe tell me how that ass taste" and had the same effect, no?

Memo to Shaq: Vasectomy? T...M...I.

I'm sometimes embarrassed to be the same age as Shaq. Same goes for Beenie Man and Bounty Killa when they start warring but....that's another subject for another blog I'll never bother to write. My brothers, my breddrin, stop acting like you're 12 years old. There's a difference between locker room/back alley chatter and warring on stage in front of dozens of people with ears and cellphone cameras.

Intro

2008-06-25T20:59:00.001-04:00

First things first, why did I decide to create a sports blog? Well, to put it bluntly, about 75% of sports writers are idiots -- in my most humble opinionated estimation of course. Too prone to emotional misgivings, too in need of page hits, validation and gratification. You read some sports stories and you can just see the nerd hovering over his keyboard with fidgety fingers dreaming up new ideas specifically trying to create controversy.

I promise you won't get that here; if I type something, it's actually going to be my viewpoint, 75% of which you as an Earthling will undoubtedly disagree with. But this is simply my outlet, my way of preventing myself from frothing at the mouth and mumbling "idiot" at the stories I read and opinions I hear. I already have an outlet (music) for every other subject in the world, but I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear songs about how great LeBron James plays.

Another thing you won't get here is the typical shemotional attitudes towards athletes. I think most of you have lost your minds "hating" Kobe because he's somehow got a big ego in your estimation, as if there is any player in the NBA that doesn't have an overdeveloped ego -- how could anyone get to that level without believing they are the shit? Besides, you want ego? Watch boxing and track & field. There isn't an ego in all of team sports that can keep up with that of individuals who depend only on themselves. But I couldn't care less; I've never even met Kobe, Shaq, Terrell Owens, A-Rod or most any other of these humans to know what they are truly like; nor do I fool myself to believe otherwise.

Finally, why Mars? Just a way to highlight what I believe will be a somewhat unique view on the sports world. I'm an Aries, Aries are ruled by Mars. Not that you cared, but just in case you may have wondered.

OK, enough babbling, thanks for reading, though I know no one actually is.