From A Busy Night of Game-Surfing

* Shaq, burned on a pick-and-roll for the game winner in Memphis. In other news, a bright yellow orb rose from the horizon and lit up the sky around 6am this morning.

* That whistling sound you hear is Phoenix falling back to the pack, having gotten the JV-league part of their schedule out of the way. Clippers, Warriors, Wolves (2), Heat, Wizards, Sixers, Hornets, Raptors (2), Rockets, Pistons, Grizz, and...Celtics. Those were the teams the Suns beat in the season's first month. Not exactly the class of the league (with one obvious exception). The three loses? 20 point bashings by the Magic and Lakers, and a close one to the Hornets. I hope the desert population weren't getting their hopes too high. The Magic, Nuggets, Spurs, Blazers, Cavs, Lakers, and Celtics comprise 7 of the next 11 games. Tim-ber.

* Gerald Wallace is rediscovering his double-double machine ways. Which got me to thinking: we've seen triple-doubles, and there's been a handful of quadruple doubles in NBA history. But are there any players in the league that could post a quintuple-double? Double-figures in point, boards, assists, blocks, and steals? Has there ever been one of these nights? I don't have Elias on the payroll right now so I'll have to investigate at a later time. Anyways, my short list of possible players are as follows: Gerald Wallace (one of only 3 players to average 2+ blocks and 2+ steals in a season, along with Wilt and Hakeem), Josh Smith (ATL) and LeShowboat James. I think that's it. As a matter of fact, I think the dancing, celebrating bunny would have a realistic chance of doing it if he played the 4 full-time (giving him more opportunities nearer to the bucket to rack up blocks). I know it's a little you-been-smoking-something weird, but it was just something that occured to me.

* Nice little win for the Nets, though I know it comes at the expense of the city of Chicago sinking deeper into the our-team-is-headed-nowhere discussion. I kinda expect the Nets to go on a (little) run now that they're getting healthy; it's not a coincidence that their first win coincided with Courtney Lee's first start, and Keyon Dooling and ....'s first game. I been saying all along that they aren't this bad. But that stinker 2nd half they threw up in game #20 verses the Knicks really had me reconsidering that notion. Anyways, 2-1 in the Kiki era.

* The Magic now stand at 9-1 in the Jameer Nelson recovery era. If Jeff Van Gundy wrote a column, I'd be emailing updates to him after every game. If I was really bored I'd write a script to send the updates for me.

* Speaking of bad predictions, there was the writer the other day that owned up to be "shocked" at Vince Carter's playing well, and the Magic's hot start. He quoted himself as predicting that Carter didn't "have much left in the tank" and that the Magic would nosedive and rue the day they let Hedo walk. I swear, anyone this clueless should put a bullet into his NBA-writing career and begin covering curling. Seriously. You just admitted to not having watched a single Net game in the past 2 years. There is simly no other explanation for thinking Carter was done. Last night, during the Magic/Clippers game, one of the Clipper broadcasters made it his point to reiterate how he knew right off that Carter over Turkoglu is an upgrade, given all the things Vince does on the court. The Clippers broadcasters are incidentally -- ironically, given the bad basketball they're forced to watched -- among the top three or four teams in the league. Unquestionably. These are guys that actually watch the games (at a minimum they would've seen Hedo and Carter twice per year each).

* Speaking of writers that don't watch, I remember getting a reply from Vince Thomas of SLAM Magazine, alerting me that Vince Carter had missed 6 games this year. Now, it may be nitpicking a bit to point out that it was only 4, but it does make you wonder how much else these eyes and ears around the NBA pull out of thin air, when they muck up such basic math as: 1+1+1+1 = 6.

In other sports:

* Forget No Fun League, we're witnessing the birth of the National Facist League. This whole no-props edict by the NFL is 10 times more embarrassing than any damage they think Ocho-Cinco might do to the league's rep.

* Forgive me if I'm disinterested in the possible Curtis Granderson chatter that's been dominating the Yankee hot stove for 2 days. We just spent the better part of the 9 years trying to win with hitting, with varying degrees of failure. Then, we go out, get three starters, shore up the bullpen, and immediately return to the Canyon of Heroes. Unless Justin Morneau, Joe Mauer and Albert Puljols are being traded for a single-A prospect and 2 players to be named later, I'm not interested. Wake me when the news is about an Edwin Jackson-type coming to the Bronx.